50 things Faux viewers believe (funny)

Found at the "94 comments" link at the bottom of this page;

http://www.newshounds.us/2006/08/25/after_a_few_tough_questions_ann_coulter_walks_off_hannity_colmes.php

(A link to the video of Coultergeist being flummoxed because the Colmes sit-in wouldnt let her spew her usual crap.)

50. Bill O'Reilly is an "independent".
49. the people working at Faux News are actually journalists.
48(tie). Ronald Reagan one of the greatest presidents ever.
48(tie). Ann Coulter is really a woman.
47. Bill Clinton should have been impeached for a blowjob.
46. Air America is going to hell in a handbag.
45. global warming? What global warming?
44. Tom DeLay didn't break the law.
43. we need to be afraid of niggers, beaners, fags and every other minoritity on earth that isn't white(except Rice, Gonzales, Watts, Malkin, Gannon and other Republicans minorities. They're the white man's property).
42. Pat Roberson and James Dobson are Christians.
41. Cynthia McKinney assaulting a cop? 'Tazer the bitch and throw her in jail!' Tom DeLay indicted and stepping down from office for money laundering charges? 'He's innocent I tell 'ya! He's an honest man!'
40. John Kerry never really got three Purple Hearts.
39. Jack Murtha is a coward but Chimpy McFlightsuit is a veteran.
38. anything that point towards Chimpy is automatically Bill Clinton's fault.
37. missing white wome are considered 'hard news'.
36. Neil Cavuto runs a buisness show.
35. Neil Cavuto isn't a sleazeball pervert.
34. Bill O'Reilly isn't a sleazeball pervert.
33. Dick Morris isn't a sleazeball pervert.
32. 9/11? Clinton's fault.
31. Bin Laden not being captured? Clinton's fault.
30. Faux News reports both sides of the story.
29. Democrats are waging a war on Christianity.
28. there is in fact a 'Culture War'
27. the Christian Right are sane.
26. higher ratings = more crediblity
25. Cindy Sheehan is being manipulated by Michael Moore, MoveOn.org, and other leftist outlets.
24. that there were WMD's in Iraq.
23. that Chimpy is spying on Al-Qaeda and not Americans
22. the Dems are evil people
21. Sean Hannity is a journalist.
20. the McFlightsuit administration never broke any laws
19. Chimpy never lied about invading Iraq for oil.
18. Sean Hannity isn't an asshole.
17. the economy is going great.
16. believe that Dems are corrupt and the GOP are saints.
15. narrow-minded view of everything = intelligence. Grey matter view of everthing = ignorance.
14. anything and everything that Faux News says must be true.
13. ignorance = strength
12. that there actually is a 'liberal media'.
11. speaking out aginst an unpopular president and his policies ammounts to treason but leaking classified info on a CIA agent for political revenge is just fine.
10. Sean Hannity is a 'great American'.
9(tie).Bill O'Reilly lives in a 'No Spin Zone'.
9(tie). the spin stops on Bill O'Reilly's show.
8. that the 2000 and 2004 elections were fair.
7. sending soldiers to die for an unjust cause is just fine.
6. Chinpy is a born-again Christian.
5. Bill O'Reilly isn't a full-blown windbag.
4. Dems control the media.
3. Chimpy is not the Worst. President. Ever.
2. the GOP are looking out for the best intrests of the Amerrican people

And the no. 1 lie Faux viewers believe is....................

1. Chimpy is a great president, who is looking out for the saftey, security, and well-being of the American people; a man who understands and can cope with the problems of the average American.

That, in a nutshell, is the saddest lie that only 34% of Chimpy-backers really believe.


Jonathan, PsD
Jonathan Holmes, PsD | Homepage | 08.25.06 - 1:18 am | #

Well said!

Hurricane Katrina, the Iraq war, Global warming, environmental degradation, screwing over our seniors, screwing over workers who make <$100,000 a year,estate tax cuts, minimum wage non-hikes, etc. etc. are small non-stories compared to

OMG SCOTT PETERSON'S TRIAL
OMG JON BENNET BLAH BLAH

Idiots...ugh
How dare they call themselves a news channel...

Truth is faith, believing is light. These are the unscientific basis of the status quo everywhere and thru all time. To be a free person, you will find knowledge in the opposite places, as in truth and reason. You will know that faith equals death and darkness. Faux News is a faith based institution.

also that a missing woman in Aruba is of crucial importance, and a 14 y/o Iraqi girl is a woman.
The marines that killed 24 women, children and men are being railroaded.

Paraphrasing from his Political Zoo book,

"And while Hannity is the good son who never speaks ill of the family, O'Reiley is the cantankerous older brother. Every now and then he will mouth off, but he still lives in his parent's basement"