John Mark Karr to Seek Guilty Charge as an Independent

(Jivester News, Lmtd.) Stealing a page from Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman, John Mark Karr has decided to continue in his fight to receive a guilty verdict in the death of Jonbenet Ramsey by taking his case "…directly to the people." In a sternly worded declaration, the lame duck school teacher vowed to continue to seek a guilty verdict against himself in a special "Bust the Sad Boy" election in November.

"I am determined to see this thing through. DNA is anti-democratic in its unwillingness to ignore new facts, or even explore creative ways to bust my ass in the fashion that it must be busted," said the wan-looking pedagogue. "The finding that I am not Jonbenet’s murderer is just the first half in a three-part contest, and I intend to prevail during sudden death. I hope to be charged as an Independent so I can get to the business of being locked up forever. Listen up, America: vote me guilty in November or the Terrorists will be in first place."

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The potential for abuse by members of the "Fuck You And Your Gay Little Primary Club" is unknown, but rumors have been spreading among Beltway politicians that the Bush Administration is searching for earlier drafts of the Constitution where “King For Life” appears in the text. The White House has declined to comment, but did ask if anyone "…knows where the Smithsonian hides stuff."

In response to Karr’s request to be found guilty in a nationwide contest this fall, government officials have offered him free airplane rides instead. Upon hearing this offer, Karr made a "whirring" sound and bit a pillow.

http://www.correntewire.com/john_mark_karr_to_seek_guilty_charge_as_an_independent

this guy is a freakin' nutjob.