The Woman Behind President Bush's Reading List

The Woman Behind the Reading List
(President Bush’s English Teacher?)
By B. V. Dees

President Bush’s reported summer reading (which included “The Stranger” by Albert Camus) caused a minor stir among some Americans. The notion of a president reading existentialist novellas and “three Shakespeares” was arguably an unusual one. Nevertheless, when recently pressed further as to which were the three Shakespeare plays he had in fact read, the president confidently responded, “Julius Caesar, Romeo, and Juliet.”

Additionally, the identity of the person who assisted the president with compiling his reading list has been made public. She is Susan Taylor, an English teacher at Sam Houston High School in Plano, Texas.


We were recently able to conduct a brief interview with Ms. Taylor.

How did you come to help the president with his reading choices?

I was approached by people working for the president. I was very happy to do it and, as I was not teaching summer school this term, I had the time.

Why “The Stranger”?

“The Stranger” is a book I assign to all my students. It also fit in very well with both of the president’s two most important ground rules: That the books assigned be neither “too long” nor “too faggy.”

Looking over the list as it currently stands, it seems to be weighted toward books that are normally first read in high school, as well as towards books about baseball. Are there any special reasons for that?

It’s quite refreshing that a man of the president’s age and station in life has remained down-to-earth enough to read with an open mind what some would characterize as “high school” books. Also, in fairness to the president, he attended Phillips Academy in Andover, MA (one of America’s premier boarding schools) in the early 1960s, before many of the works we think of today as staples of an American high school education became the mainstays on the syllabus that they now are. For example, “The Catcher in the Rye” was only published in 1951. However, the president has expressed an especially keen eagerness to tackle that one, particularly since he found out its protagonist is a youth dismayed by the “phoniness” of an exclusive eastern prep school from which he has just been expelled.

Interesting.

As for the baseball books, the president enjoys a reward after wrestling with classics like “Brave New World” or “The Old Man and the Sea.” As a teacher, I appreciate that a mix of such choices are necessary to keep up his overall enthusiasm for reading. The president has even strayed from his usual length preferences for the baseball books. He recently read a biography of Derek Jeter and didn’t once complain about its being well over 200 pages.

What’s the next conquest to go on the president’s book shelf?

Well, the regular school year starts again in September for me, so, unless he enrolls in one of my classes, the president will be on his own. I wish him well in whatever path he takes in life as he goes forth into adulthood.

As further proof that the president has indeed been reading the large number of books he has claimed to be, Ms. Taylor provided a collection of book reports the president had written for her. The following are excerpts:

Lord of the Flies

"Lord of the Flies by William Golding is the greatest book I have ever read. What it teaches us is that you have to be ready to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps and not hang around losers like Piggy the way Ralph did for too long. Ralph was at first considered the coolest guy but then everyone saw him with Piggy and that he had the wrong type of people for friends so they sided with Roger. Lord of the Flies teaches us that it is bad to wear glasses and be fat, unless you are Dick Cheney’s age when it doesn’t matter. This book is very sad, but it also makes me very glad because it shows how far we have come as a nation. Whereas if you have glasses and are fat back then, you would get a boulder rolled on top of you, but today you would just be voted off the island and not be eligible for the million dollars prize. So that is more kinder and gentler."

Brave New World

"Brave New World by Aldous Huxley is the greatest book I have ever read. It teaches us that science is not good for human civilization because it makes nightmares out of reproduction and other stuff. It also shows us the 'noble savage' is noble even if the elitistical so-called elitists think they are more sophisticationed and better. In fact, the savage is better than everybody. So there. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley teaches us for example what happens in a country where stem cell research would happen. Everyone and his mother should read this book."

Frankenstein

"Frankenstein by Mary Shelley is not the greatest book I have ever read. It is very disappointing. Boris Karloff’s Frankenstein is good because he talks to people on their own level, not above them, in words they can understand ('I love dead…hate living,' 'smoke good…fire bad,' etc.). This is very important. Mary Shelley makes Frankenstein seem snobby and elitistical and we do not sympathize with him. He sounds more like the faggy second mad scientist doctor with the white hair in Bride of Frankenstein. Perhaps it can be said that Mary Shelley had a tough act to follow in trying to do a book of the movie, but I say she should have known better than to mess with a classic. Karloff good…Mary Shelley bad!"

Julius Caesar

"Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare is the greatest book I have ever read. It is the tragically historical play about Julius Caesar and his merry men and teaches us lessons that are as true today as they were in the days of William Shakespeare and his ancient Rome of old. 'To be or not to be' is the question and the answer for Julius Caesar is to not to be because he is killed and this is why this book is a tragedy and not a non-tragedy. It is especially tragical because Julius Caesar is killed last of all by Brutus. He could have lived through everything else but seeing Brutus of all people kill him is what makes him die because he trusted Brutus and thought Brutus would always be on his side. Then Brutus is also killed and once he is dead someone calls him, 'The Noblest Roman there was of them all,' but we are left to opine if this was not ironically sarcastic since he is dead and not alive the way a hero should be at the end."

Just on the "Romeo and Juliet" line alone. Hahahahahaha.

:rofl:

Because that is frickin' HILARIOUS, either way!!

> Is that for real, or just a joke by the author?

Based on the fact that *ALL* of the books are the
"greatest book I have ever read", I think you can
safely conclude that this is a joke.

Tesha

were three plays - not two, JC and R and J?

If this is for real, his stupidity and ignorance are mind-numbing!

:rofl:

It has to be. It really has to be satire from The Onion.

...a compliment to read someone saying they think this is good enough for that publication.

:D

'Can't be too long or too faggy'. Considering the folks that are in the inner circle of the WH...well, let's just say I'd be careful in the wash room.

Isn't it sad that this is just too believable? Actually, you had until the book reports... ok, the second book report. :rofl:

Best laugh of the week - easily!!

K & R

Would love to see this on the Home Page!

It was the "...too long or too faggy." comment that gave it away.
:rofl:
Worthy of The Onion indeed!
:yourock: :applause:

(Hungry Caterpillar)

so valuable and sanctimonious as the President's Royal Reading List?

Why must the white house have a court appointed librarian to the boy king?

Great piece, Crankie Avalon!
:thumbsup:

:patriot: :toast:

It wouldn't surprise me if this was actually a real quote from the preznit.

:eyes:

After all, he has fond memories of the dressing rooms at Philips Andover... ooops, I've said too much.

butchy-bisexualism. (ie: "Just 'cuz I like weiners, that don't make me queer.")

Just ask Jeff Gannon. ;-)

What's odd is that such a man would then go on to decry "phoniness". Or, rather, not so odd at all.

The OP is "The greatest OP I have ever read!"

:rofl:

1984, Aldous Huxley

It Can't Happen Here, Sinclair Lewis

Wait, maybe he actually has read these. Apparently at least some of his cronies have.

list rather than Bush's.

;-)

Good one (is that a compliment to underpants?) :D

I actually Googled B. V. Dees Onion to see what's what! I took it in the shorts :rofl:

...so an homage to him is fine with me.

:rofl:

and missed it the first time.

...walked with the Saudi prince holding hands :wtf:

I was actually looking for the Onion link..

Great job.

Nice job. :)

Dumbya doesn't use words like 'opine'. "....but we are left to opine", ( last line ). At least he wouldn't be able to use it correctly!

ha,ha, I love where she says she wishes him well as he goes 'forth into adulthood'.

...wish I could find a handy link, but I specifically remember threads on DU where people were getting a kick out of Bush using a word like "opine" and saying he must have been listening to Bill O'Reilly.

I first typed "ponder" but then remembered his funny use of "opine" and changed it.

that must be one of the words he writes on his hand before an interview!!! lol!

This is just great, Cranky Avalon. I hope you're going to get it published somewhere. Took me a while to catch on, but definitely loved, "Julius Caesar, Romeo, and Juliet."

A hearty K & R

...if he/she could possibly publish it on his/her website so we'll so what happens. Glad you enjoyed it.

written better book reports. Too funny, passing this one on.

Very well done! Kudos to Mr. B. V. Dees! :rofl:

I doubt he spells much better than he speaks. His reports must have been written with a Sharpie, too.

I love, love, love the book reports!!! I'm dying over here, and my hubby and I can barely breathe. This is classic!!

...but I didn't feel I had the temperament to go into the teaching of it. Every now and then I'll wonder about that decision while in my cube doing offce work.

Any actual English teachers out there reading this have a mixture of my wistful admiration...and my sympathy.

I'm in a different place in life now and thinking of teaching remedial classes at our community college to see if I want to go back.

Your book reports are right on, though. They sound just like what my students used to write. :D

...who wrote such kind replies. I had fun just in the writing of it for its own sake, but then seeing an audience respond so kindly to it takes it to a whole other level of nice feelings.

:grr: :grr: :grr: :grr:

Anyone who thinks he read and comprehended these books should put down the kool-aid.

That is really funny. You had me until the "not too faggy" and I thought, "wait a minute, is this real?". This cracked me up: "It is especially tragical" Tragical... :rofl:, that sounds like georgie.

Good job! :applause:

Worthy of the "b" in "subtle":

"...(T)his is why this book is a tragedy and not a non-tragedy."

Thanks for bringing a smile to my face.