I watched the McGreevey interview on Oprah

What can I say I was facinated. I was pretty skilled at being in the closet though I was no McGreevey. It is hard to imagine being such a public figure and leading that kind of double life.

I have to say I see why he won election. He is charming, handsome, and affable. I can also see why he got two very lovely women to fall for him. What he did to those women is inexcusable. But he also messed up his own life. It is hard to know what to think. No matter how eggregious his conduct was you can't help but feel sorry for in some real senses a life wasted.

I can't imagine a senario where he would have become governor of NJ without having lied about his sexuality. If we are lucky he will be the last one who has to do that.

It is hard to be mad, but also hard to feel to sorry for him. He opposed same sex marriage then but wants one now. He lied to two women and hurt them greatly. He betrayed his state by appointing his lover to be the director of homeland security. He could have lied differently and without betraying his state or his wives. He should have.

that he has written a book and come on Oprah, all at the expense of his wife and daughter. I'm sorry, but he is a self-righteous, self-centered egomaniac.

the younger one is too young to understand at this point. Honestly I don't see the book mattering too much one way or the other given that he came out as a sitting governor. His wife would have to move to Mars to find someone who didn't know what was up.

I wanted to see it. I really wanted to hear him explain all of this.

but it was this afternoon here.

:(

If McGreevy and all the others who 'hurt' their wives/girlfriends/family were able to be who they were without fear or persecution? Then no one would have to live double-lives to appease society.

BTW, I feel sorry for anyone who let society lie to them so strongly that they could 'beat this, be different, just dont be who you are'.... only to age and realize they couldn't. Then it was too late.

Roads less traveled... moccasins of others.... just be greatful it's not YOUR story.

I once prayed and prayed to meet just one woman that I could fall in love with so I could be normal. I am so glad God answered that prayer with a resounding no.

.. for who you were!

No one elses place to question what God told you.

I didn't then. Thanks though.

I have no idea how you could NOT know he was gay.

He made choices that hurt others. I can despise the society we live in and the bigotry towards GLBT but I can't excuse personal betrayal. I think we have to hold others to our standards and for me that is to be honest in relationships. I have many other standards/values but that's the one that applies in this instance. Noone should cheat on a person who they promised monagamy to. If his relationship was accepting about other partners, then I feel sorry for him and all the others hurt by this.

"Noone should cheat on a person who they promised monagamy to"

But then look around and see how few and far between that lofty goal is.
I dont feel sorry for him for lying and hurting others.

However, in some respects, he (and a lot of GLBT) was lied to and hurt for being damned.
Two wrongs dont make a right, but expectations of one being grander than another isn't quite right either.

years and never knew until a couple years ago he was actually gay...and they have 2 grown kids now.
He agonized about it all that time but finally decided he had to come out somehow like McGreevy did I imagine, or go insane. The same thing happened to one of my best friends...he married his high-school girlfriend and fathered 2 kids just like my brother in law - they both said roughly the same thing...that the pressure to be "normal" back in the early 60s was just too much for some guys to
resist. Not many people back in those days were willing to admit (even to themselves, often) their
orientation. I can understand it but I wish it hadn't been that way.

(My sis dealt with it very well - they're divorced but still on friendly terms...and their son has
had a 'hugh' change - he used to be, as a teenager, a vocal homophobe, now he's 24 and "gets it")

societal pressures to live an open life. McGreevy is much younger, though. I can feel compassion but not excuse his behavior.

You should be honored to have your sister in your life. She sounds like a very compassionate, loving woman.

I have three gay friends who married opposite gender partners and two AA friends whose spouses divorced them to enter same gender relationships. I think it is declining as the pressure decreases but I don't think it is by any means over.

But, instead I really felt sorry for the wife who refused to come on the show because the divorce wasn't final...sounds like she's still hurting. I think he should have waited longer to tell his story if he really cared how she felt. Just my 2 cents.

if there ever were grounds for a quick divorce that surely should have been it. I do feel sorry for her, and waiting would have been a good thing to say the least.

weird though.

I think a former coworker said it best when she said, "yep, leave it to NJ to vote democratic and accidentally elect a gay Republican governor."

I don't feel sorry for him. I feel sorry for his family. McGreevy was a fuck up.

but unlike Corizine he didn't seem to try to fix it. I can only judge from afar.

I'm in NJ and I like Corzine. I feel he's doing the best he can.

would you still find him a sympathetic character?

A crook is a crook. Democratic, Republican, Gay, Straight. Slime is slime.

I don't find him sympathetic at all and he is hurting the Democratic Party in New Jersey with his tell all book and his media tour right before the election.

By the way, I do think he fixed up the Motor Vehicle Bureau after Whitman's disasterous attempt at privatization--but he's still a slimebag.

I thought the reason he got bounced was because he hired an egregiously unqualified person, who happened to be his lover, to a critical, highly paid position (NJ "Homeland Security Director" or some such).

It could've been a female lover and he would've gotten kicked out, and would've deserved it. And not because of the affair (although that's bad personally, if it didn't affect his governance...)

If he'd been a half-decent governor and reasonably caring for his family, and not done something so blatantly stupid as that appointment, he probably could've slipped out of the closet with just a mild "tsk, tsk" from the morals crowd. But, jmho...