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Most days I can shrug off the shame of what this country, for that matter this whole planet, has become by reminding myself that I'm not like the people that have ruined it.
Usually no matter what the Republicans do, knowing that I myself oppose them, and that I do so with at least some degree of activity and to some material extent however small, and envisioning the better world people of my own mindset would build and protect were we ever to obtain the critical mass of power and mindshare needed -- with those things I can go to sleep feeling assured that even though I might not wake up tomorrow morning, at least I mostly lived by my principles and integrity, and worked to address my own faults.
Tonight their shame is so large that it is bleeding over into my own mind. Not just the shame of the associations others might build between me and these asswipes -- e.g. I'm an American, and will be on some level judged by that I know. That I can live with and just about tolerate. Rather this is a deep shame -- a palpable wave that overwhelms me -- as if a million paparazzi lenses snapped at once on a million motel trists.
It sucks. I laugh at the clever and pointed jokes, but the shame rolls back in afterwards like a footprint on the shoreline.
What's worse, I know many of the sociopaths to blame cannot feel this national disgrace in their own hearts, so lobotomized by their own hates and fears.
Good night. Hopefully it will not invade my dreams as well, and I hope it stays out of yours too.
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