Rude Thoughts: Democrats Are Played, Again and Again and...

Last week, before we got all Foleytioed and lost our attention spans, the great and terrible debate over torture and habeas corpus in the Senate went a little something like this: Republicans were mewing and growling like an alley cat in heat getting its kitty cooz fucked by the local toms. Democrats were cowering in the corner, licking themselves, hoping no one noticed them. Sure, sure, they made nice little speeches about rights, about tradition, about the Constitution, about the rule of law. And in the end, even though most of them voted against it, they decided not to filibuster the bill because, they said, they didn't want Republicans to be able to say they were weak on terrorists. Hey, they said, we'll show we're tough by abandoning our principles and giving the President exactly what he wants. Look, they said, we'll go ahead and let George Bush continue his perverse attacks on the human body in the name of security, we'll forego nine centuries of legal doctrine. Just, please, please, they intoned, don't say we're timid or we might cry.

And not a goddamn week later, here's the Democrat-enabled President Bush, a man who has the power to jail whoever the fuck he wants for an indefinite period of time with no charges, a man who gets to look at a menu of violent techniques and point out which ones he declares legal, speaking at a fundraiser in California: "The Democrats are the party of cut and run. Ours is a party that has got a clear vision and says we will give our commanders and troops the support necessary to achieve that victory in Iraq... the Democrats have said they share our goals. But when it comes time to vote, they consistently oppose giving our personnel the tools they need to protect us. Time and time again, the Democrats want to have it both ways. They talk tough on terror, but when the votes are counted, their softer side comes out... If they feel we are safer without this program, the Democrats in the United States Senate need to explain to the American people which of the attacks that the CIA program stopped would they have been willing to let go forward...Democrats have voted time and again to deny our personnel the tools they need to protect you. Republicans are giving you the tools they need -- giving our folks the tools they need to keep this country safe."

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Again and again and again, Democrats forget the rule that Karl Rove lives by: "Everything they do is wrong; everything we do is right." And that's right down the fuckin' line. Every cloud has a silver lining. Every wet spot is a chance to gather DNA. Every fuck-up is an opportunity. Every sign of weakness must be exploited. That's because it's what fires up the base. It's gonna happen on the Mark Foley debacle. Right now everyone's running around without Rove's black leather gloved slap of guidance. But soon, Rove will figure out how to spin this into something to attack Democrats with.

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Democrats keep acting as if they are dealing with honorable men and women across the aisle in Congress. Instead, they need to behave as if all that exists over there is a hellscape of pedophiles and torturers. And act accordingly.

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