The Official Mark Foley Jokes Post

After being caught sending explicit emails to underage boys, Florida congressman Mark Foley has resigned. So his seat is up for grabs, which is what got him in trouble in the first place." --Jay Leno

"This is like the worst thing to happen to congressional Republicans since last Thursday. ... Most people think GOP stands for Gay Old Pedophile." --Jay Leno

"ABC is reporting that Mark Foley interrupted a vote on the House floor, stopped the House floor vote, so he could have online phone sex with a 16-year-old. Say what you want about Bill Clinton -- he could sit at his desk and have sex and work at the same time." --Jay Leno

"Apparently he had text message phone sex with a boy during a vote on funding for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. No one can say he's soft on terror." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Mark Foley has checked into alcohol rehab. Yeah, when asked about it, Foley said, 'I have a problem with 18-year old Scotch and 16-year-old boys.'" –Conan O'Brien

"The Republicans reacted quickly. They transferred Foley to a different parish." –David Letterman

"So basically Pages are brought down there to perform sexual exploits for legislators?" –Jon Stewart
"No, that’s what the interns are for. Pages are just the aphrodisiacs, set the mood, get them primed. They’re the Fluffers of Liberty." –Samantha Bee

What is Mark Foley's favorite song----Elton Johns 'Dont let your Son go down on me'


"Apparently, new evidence that just came out shows that former Congressman Mark Foley once engaged in Internet sex with a former page while a vote was being taken in the House.
... Apparently, instead of voting 'Aye,' Foley voted 'Oh God yes!'" --Conan O'Brien


"This is like the worst thing to happen to congressional Republicans since last Thursday. ... Most people think GOP stands for Gay Old Pedophile." --Jay Leno

"Mark Foley has now checked into rehab for alcoholism. Oh, shut up. Like that's the big problem. Who cares if he's addicted to Jack Daniels? He's addicted to little Jack and little Daniel. That's the problem." --Jay Leno

"Masturgate"

:shrug:

"Actually, this scandal with Foley has finally led to some bipartisan cooperation in Congress. For example, Republican leaders had to meet with Ted Kennedy to find out what's the best rehab center." --Jay Leno

"Have you all been following this scandal in Washington with ex-Congressman Mark Foley? Well, a couple of days ago, he checked himself into rehab. ... It had gotten so bad he had to go out and develop a drinking problem." --David Letterman

"The ex-congressman, if nothing else, is contrite. He says when he gets out of rehab, he wants a fresh start and to turn over a new page." --David Letterman

"He spent most of his career protecting children from Internet stalkers. Turns out he was doing it so he could have them all to himself." --Jon Stewart

"The big question, of course, for this congressman, who was an online sex predator to a 16-year-old, is -- what drove him to it? . The sauce. Sad juice. Satan's breast milk. Uncle Scotchy's anger wrangler. The active ingredient in Nyquil. That's why he did this thing. For if not for alcohol, it would have never crossed his mind. Mark Foley's problem wasn't that he drank, it was what he drank . Young Boyschlager. It's got real bits of young boy in it. You don't stand a chance." --Jon Stewart

"It's unbelievable the way the mainstream media is reporting this thing. Listening to them, you'd think it's all Foley's fault. Don't you think the kids bare some of the blame here? Hear me out. Let's be fair. How can a 53-year-old, six-term congressman hold out against the snares and seductive trickery of a high student from the rural South?" --Stephen Colbert

"He's in rehab, which means it only happened because he was drinking. We've all done it folks -- drunk dialing. It's just that in Foley's case, it was drunk texting erotic messages to underage pages about masturbation. ... It's simple. You drink, you forget things -- especially things that could endanger minors." --Stephen Colbert

http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/sexandpolitics/a/markfoleyjokes.htm

"So let that be a lesson to anyone running for Congress. You can Foley some of the people some of the time, but you can’t Foley all of the people all of the time." –Jay Leno

"This incident is changing the way many big companies do business in Washington. Like Tobacco companies are now hiring underage boys as lobbyists because they know that’s the best way to reach congressmen." –Jay Leno

They caught him bending over the pages... :spank:

So he can have even more contact with young boys....

credit to: Musto from the Village Voice on Olbermann

Hastert, Foley and Rove are taking a group of teen age pages on a boat cruise. The boat springs a leak. Hastert and Foley get on a life raft. But Rove calls out, What about the kids?

Foley says, Screw the kids.
Rove replies, Do you think there's enough time?