I "adopted" a single mother and her kids.

Well, not legally, but I have begun making "payments" to this young woman. I send her a few hundred every month or so, whenever I have some extra. I used to be a single mother and I would have loved it if I had had someone, anyone, do this for me.

I have gotten, more and more, to believe that I cannot be happy with my money while others are doing without basics. I can't help everyone, but I can help this young woman who is alone in the world with just her children.

You were here right now so I could give you a hug and a kiss.

You have no idea how much this sort of thing helps someone in her straits. And not just on an economic level, either. It's very easy to slip into a bitter belief that no one cares.

My kids and I had a really hard time of it. No child support, nothing. I think back and I would have loved having someone help us out just to help us, with no strings attached. So that's what I do for her. I don't invade her life; I don't need to become a part of it. I just send her money, no strings attached; no thank you's required.

I am very, very fortunate that I can do something like this, I know.

With no strings attached, no thank you's required. What a wonderful person you are.
:hug:

Damn. You're not happy with spending money on yourself, and making more?

Whoever you help, that's always a good thing. Whatever you do that's selfless, that's a good thing. Enjoy your selflessness. And thank you.

I believe in living a decent life, with a roof over my head, and a means to get to work to earn my living, but at some point, enough is just that: enough. At that point, where you have everything that you need, it's time to start giving back. I pay my own way, and I take care of my family first. But, once that's done, it's time to look around and see what good you can do in this world. I've heard over and over again that the good that you do comes back to you, but I think; I KNOW, that the act itself is payment enough.

I give to political campaigns, and I buy medicine for people with cystic fibrosis. But I usually don't give money to big organizations. I'd rather do it just one on one, on a more personal level. I think it makes more of a difference that way.

to spend much money. But I will share this in hopes that my honey might 'get it'.
I respect you so much! Thanks for doing what you do!

:hug: If everyone that had money would help out those who don't, it would be a wonderful world. There's enough to go around, I figure, some people hoard it by the billion.:thumbsdown:

Are you doing this through some organization or is this someone you know?



:hi:

I had to let her go because she couldn't sell. She was just entirely too desperate and that came through with clients. I have a partner in my business, and I can "carry" someone who is not as productive as most, but not someone who is completely non-productive. I called her a few weeks later, to see how she was doing and she said that she was fine and that she had gotten another job. But, the food stamp office called me not long after that, for information on her termination.

I am not doing this out of guilt, though. I guess that call from the food stamp office made me begin my "money drops" a little sooner than I had intended, but I had already made up my mind that she and her family were going to be adopted by me before I terminated her employment. I had been looking for someone to "adopt" for a long time, and she was my perfect candidate--a single mother, two children, very low child support payments, no family that could help her. So....I get to know that I can make a real difference in someone's life. What a gift that is.

Just one word of caution, although you have probably already considered this: if you're sending her checks and she is depositing them into a checking account, that might make her ineligible for the food stamps (assuming she's still getting them). No discussion needed, just a comment that you may or may not have considered.

It's too bad that our society doesn't have the social programs to help the women and their children who need extra help like this. There is enough tax money out there for programs but we need to get our politicians focused on spending our tax money for programs that benefit people like her instead of war, war and more war.

Very noble of you!

I wish I could afford to do something like that.

I like this type of great story, you have a great gift and remember, God will always remember what a kind, loving person you are. I always believe in, when you help someone, bigger gift will be waiting for you in next lift. O8)

She would say this poor young woman is only using you. She would also say that she needs to go get a job and stop sucking off of you.

See why I haven't spoken to my mom in months? And if I have my way I won't, ever again.

YOU are doing a very great thing, and anyone who says otherwise is somewhat lacking in their humanity.

Sort of like a mom I know.

When she worked for me, she worked HARD. Probably too hard, and that's why she wasn't successful. She's never called me on the phone. I called HER. I chose HER. The few times I've talked with her on the phone, she always starts to cry and tries to thank me. I tell her that it's okay; it's about ME and what makes ME happy, not charity or pity towards her.

She's a great girl; just trying to make it and raise her children by herself. I can blow a few hundred dollars on junk and never feel it, but think about what that kind of money means to her!

THAT'S using your money wisely, in my opinion.

You are a good person.
I do my best helping needy kids with education.
I taught remedial English to hundreds of kids for seventeen years and have helped others with their education, but recently one kid's story stood out.

We buy fruit from a lady who sells near our home. Three years ago, she had her young daughter (grade nine in the US) selling fruit after school and I stopped one afternoon and told her that if she promised us that the kid would not be selling fruit after school from Mondays to Fridays, we'd make sure that the kid had all her books and equipment for school. We told her to bring the list of school needs outside of the uniform. Mum and daughter agreed to their side of the bargain.

The young lady still helped her mother on Saturdays and during the holidays, but she was suddenly excited about her education. They both kept us up to date with her progress and within one year she was in the top ten of her class. We kept our promise and provided her books and equipment year after year. At the end of August this year, we were driving home and the kid was waving us down telling us to stop. She had been very successful in her examinations and qualified for sixth form in her school (pre-university). She is a happy child but her excitement and happiness that afternoon lifted our spirits beyond our wildest imagination. She was standing tall, beaming with pride and smiling as if she had won the lottery - indeed she won the best prize possible - independence.

We will cover her university education although the way she's progressing she may win a full scholarship.
This young girl's development has been one of the happiest stories in my life.

Edit - sp.

It is good to hear about people helping other people. I especially like to hear about people helping on an individual basis (I guess I like hearing the personal accounting). Your story gave me chills. I can only imagine how it makes you feel. DU sure has some great people on this board.

You'd be surprised. This one really thrilled us.:D

that alone is worth your gratitude.

i got frustrated with my mom right before she died - we got in a stupid argument where i thought she was being kind of racist, which actually wasn't very typical of her. I was so mad, I swore I wouldn't talk to her again. A week later I found out she had a brain tumor. I learned to not talk in such hateful absolutes. She was a (moderate) republican and we never saw eye to eye with her on many issues, but still, I miss her.

:hi: I wish I could give you a hug in person :hug: If Only The Rich Would Give Their Tax Breaks and Bonuses! like Senator Santorum Who Thinks Mothers Should Stay home With their Kids,yet Voted For Every Pay Raise for himself but against minimum wage increase, 14 times. If only the rich knew what it was like to do without,so your kid could have the proper food and clothing. I'm sure they would be more generous,like you are. :grouphug: :yourock:

God bless you. Wish I had your strength of character and conviction.

and I wish people like you could be cloned. I am very glad that you shared this, because it gives us all hope in a world that seems to have turned cold, and dangerous. I pray that all you have done is given back to you in many ways. I used to be a single mother, too, and know how much this means to the mother and her kids. Blessings to you, and a
:grouphug: . That's for you, and her, and all of the other generous, caring souls who make this world worth living in.

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

what a difference you are making in this world right now.

One day she will pay it forward. How wonderful that you will get to witness this. There are many worthwhile charities out there, we decided this year to buy blankets for the homeless because it was a basic need and so we partnered with other people so that we could get a bulk discount on 5000 blankets.

These next couple of weeks we are trying to get together toiletries and personal items for people facing the winter season without a home in hopes that we can help them make it another day with some dignity. My father said it best when he said that we can't solve all of the problems but we can certainly give someone that is cold a blanket. :)

I paid rent for a single mom until she got a Section 8 grant and disability payments. Told her to pay it forward when she could, and she is donating to a program for homeless women at her church.

I thank you on behalf of all my single mother friends.

It's a goal of mine. I was too wrapped up in things I wanted, and now thanks to all the bills, I can't afford to do this for someone right now. But I WILL. Thanks for being an inspiration!!

My brother-in-law was telling me a story abou a christmas where he "adopted a family". They went out, picked them up gifts, he thought it strange that the father wanted a Playstation and as such, did not get the father a playstation. His wife cooked a meal for them I believe or was planning to.

The day arrived, they were given the address to drop the items off to and much to my brother-in-law's dismay, it was a client of his! My brother-in-law is a stock broker/finance guy and knew his financial background.

He was pissed! His wife who was going to cook them a dinner was pissed! They had contacted the company who was sponsered this and notified them about this and more importantly, this family in "need", received nothing at all.

It's kind of amazing how people will take advantage of these programs and meanwhile, there are people in need who may get overlooked due to the arogance of other people. I quipped to my Bro-in-law, "Perhaps he has all his money tied up..."

I've been going through some organizations I can donate to but I feel inclined to do some investigating on some of the orginizations so I can choose or hopefully choose the right one. For $1.79 I can feed someone Thanksgiving dinner!

Dap

helping people. It's not funny.

There are people out there who will take advantage, no matter what. But the large majority of the people who ask for help don't WANT to have to ask for help. They would much rather do it on their own.

More people cheat on their income taxes than cheat the welfare system. Most people who are on welfare are under six years old. It just enrages me when I hear stories about people, for instance, who are on food stamps, that are buying steaks. SO WHAT? Maybe that's the only luxury they can have in life; who are we to judge? These kinds of stories are usually used in an argument from the right against helping people. Would you rather buy a hammer for Halliburton or a hamburger for a hungry child?

You mean, you can't tell a story about helping people and a situation gone bad? and if you do tell a story, your a righty? Donating need not be political.

In fact, after your posting, I decided to finally do something that I have been holding off on doing.

I got the wife and kid together this morning, we packed up the van with a toddler bed, mattress, Microwave oven, toys..etc and I we drove down to the local Good Will and donated items we could have otherwise just had a garage sale.

Prior to moving out to the Mid-west, I practically donated everything I had to charity (not money but furnature..etc)

Please take a step back and take a deep breath.

Dap

But, sometimes, when people write stuff like that; well, you can understand my point--it's like the person who says that he's not giving to the ragged man on the street corner because he's probably got a mattress stuffed with hundreds at home.

Good on you for giving to charity! God knows, some of us in this country have so much and so many have so little.

I think it's great what you did/are doing. I appologize for, maybe not making my point as best I could. I do believe in doing some research on a potential donation as I want to make sure my donation is going to someone who is needy and not lining the pockets of some CEO of an agency... that's why I am doing some research now on some organizations so I know where my money would best be put to use.

Years ago I was in debt and luckilyn my parents were there for me. When I fell on hard times just a few short years ago, I didn't have my parents to fall back on. Things worked out and although I'm not *that* well off, I know there are people out there who have hit harder times than I will ever know.

Last year, a "club member" of an organization I belong to died suddenly, leaving a wife and 2 daughters. Although this person was from a different location and I had never met him personally, they auctioned items off on his behalf. There were a few items in the $40 range that I bid $400 on- then I had people bid it up making me the winner at my high bid. It was kind of silly, yet fun but it made me feel great!

Dap

That's great, what you did, too! You know, virtue really is it's own reward.

I am so fortunate. I know that. I've worked very hard, but many people work hard and are still struggling to make ends meet. The only difference between me and them is luck, and that's it.

I might be a millionaire in the next few years, if things go as planned, but I will never forget my welfare mother roots. And, I intend to raise up as many welfare mothers as possible, and to do it on a grass roots basis.

We CAN change the world, one life at a time.

Angel. I know that you will probably reject that word. It is true none the less. If the day ever comes that I can do more than keep my head above water, I would like to follow in your footsteps. One on one, no middle man to suck the $$. Not that I think charities are bad, your way is the way I will hopefully be able to choose someday.

Your story, brought back to my mind, something that happened to me. My husband and I were visiting Myrtle Beach, SC. We were out walking with my MIL & FIL. I was chilly and walking faster than the rest of the group. I just wanted to get to the car. A Bum (don't really know if he was homeless or not) approached me to ask for money. I made my choice freely and dug out a $20 for him. Now, a $20 is quite a lot of money for me to just give away, but I did. He was happy and so was I. He stressed he would not buy alcohol as he peddled his bike away. I yelled back, Its yours to do as you please.

Well, my husband and in laws were astounded. Didn't I know that he was a drunk and would just drink it away. I said, that was a very likely possibility but the choice was now his. I told them I was paying it forward. I love the message that that movie gave. It felt good to show brotherly love to a complete stranger, even though on such a small scale.

Good on you Th1onein, Little Star

I always give to street people, too. If I have someone with me and they say, as they often do, that the person I'm giving to will probably just spend it on booze, I tell them, "So what? That's HIS priority; you have YOURS, don't you?" If I'm giving something, I'm GIVING it. It goes freely, with no strings attached, to the other person.

I just wish I could do more. I have been so lucky in some ways.

Furthermore even if the panhandler IS going to spend my token gift on drink or other...WTF DO I CARE?

My goal when I give money is to give someone a little relief or joy in their day and to lighten their load in whatever small way that I can.

I am not perfect so who the hell am I to judge?

There but for the grace of God go I IMO and I am in no position to judge what someone else's *worth* is (esp by today's fucked up repuke standards)

Original poster...I think you are doing a wonderful thing for this single mom in general.

Thank you for being a non-judgemental decent human being.

Is he deceased or just not paying? My wife's ex refuses to pay any child support and the laws are not being enforced.

I guess he had a crap job when child support was decided on, but he pays $200 a month for two children. That's not enough. I don't know if he makes more now or not, but this girl doesn't have the money to take him back to court to get more.

If you think about it, if a custodial parent only paid $200/month for their children they would go be charged with child neglect. Yet the non-custodial parents try to get away with paying as little as possible. It's not fair that the system doesn't enforce the laws.

I am a single mother and am just now climbing out of the abyss. I am fortunate to have a family and a network of friends that have been supportive (with time, emotional support and money when it was necessary) ... I can not imagine this completely alone.

Because of you this family is not alone ... that is the greatest gift any human being can give another.

Thank you

It would have been nice to have that kind of help and I would have appreciated as well.

:kick:

I paid the bills for a family who had a son with cancer; and now I am helping a good friend of mine who has a seriously ill husband who can't work.

Paying it forward feels so fantastic; there aren't words.

I bet this young mother is eternally grateful too. :toast:

but (you had to know that was coming)

If you got together with some friends and created a non-profit organisation to do this, you could get a tax write-off for your efforts.

I have been trying to adopt a single mother for many years, but I haven't found one willing to marry me.

Typically I support the Salvation Army, although more with my time, standing out in the cold to raise money from other people. Otherwise it can be hard to find people who need help. I do not know any personally. I like to think that the time and money I spend trying to elect Democrats is going to help alot of people too, if the Democrats win.

I have gotten, more and more, to believe that I cannot be happy with my money while others are doing without basics. I can't help everyone, but I can help this young woman who is alone in the world with just her children.

:toast:

Agree with the sentiment completely....cheers to you!
:applause: :applause:

I get to know such beautiful open-hearted people. Thank you, Th1onein, for being in the world. You are an inspiration. :hug:

secret to great happiness, and peace. You are a very wise and caring person. Bless you.

I hope everything goes wewll for her and her children and for you for your kindness. That is very generous.

Don't you realize, if they just worked harder, or were a Bush relative, that they could pay their own way?

Why would you reward lazy asses if they aren't rich? Don't you know the Bush doctrine? Those poor kids and parents need to enlist for Iraq so they can finally pay their own way. They need to quit sucking the rewards of the rich. Don't they know the rich should be rewarded and the poor denigrated?

Freeper off.

I was so touched when my rental changed owners, and the new owner came over and fixed the kids bicycles.