My sweet mother forwarded me a hateful email chain letter.

My response:

Mom--

This has me upset. I'm upset with our cousin who sent it to you and I'm really sorry you forwarded this to the neighbors. Why did you think this is true? Because your cousin thought it was true? Why did she think it was true?

It is very easy on the internet to discover whether something is genuine or a hoax. In nearly every single case of a forwarded email such as this, the presentation is either an inaccurate presentation of some actual event or wholly fabricated. People pass the messages on, believing them because they seem to assure them that the ideas they already have are justified, even if they are not based on truth. This isn't truth, it isn't knowledge. It's harmful gossip that helps to spread distrust, suspicion, and hatred.

I checked on this story and I want to share with you what I found.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/allah.asp

http://www.breakthechain.org/exclusives/rickmathes.html

I also checked on the sources of the sites to make sure they were not set up only to debunk a true story.

I worry that people as loving and compassionate as you are willing to accept on such flimsy evidence that our Islamic neighbors are taught and trained to kill us. Your sending this on to people who respect you as a trustworthy source gives power to the lie it contains.

I'm not doing this just to be contrary or disagreeable. I am just completely bewildered and dismayed by what I see around me so often. I really try to think about things and discover the truth. I know I will be wrong sometimes, but I hope my mistakes will be in spite of my attempts to get at the truth, not because I failed to look for it.

I would love to talk with you about some of these things.

Love,
(swimboy)

Even before I checked it out, I had a hard time believing there was such a thing as a "sheepish, speechless" Iman. Those adjectives just didn't fit.

I hope she will talk with me about it.

It's good to see you.

except mine says the following:

"You know my politics, yet you forwarded this to me anyway. Clearly the intent was to infuriate or alienate me. So let me warn you now: if you ever send me another email like this I will shove my steel toed boot so far up your ass that I'll be kicking out your teeth.

Yours in Christ,

Teaser"

Now, I've never had to send it to my mom, so perhaps I'd tone it down a bit if it was her...

I sent her the Snopes listing in return.

It's amazing how willing educated people are to suspend their powers of reason and buy into this crap.

"Your sending this on to people who respect you as a trustworthy source gives power to the lie it contains."

And that is precisely the reason why they do it.

Your mother should be very proud of you. You explained without accusing, and gave her a way out. :thumbsup:

You wrote a thoughtful letter to educate, not berate, your mom. :toast:

I hope your mom learns from you to check these things out before believing & forwarding them.

I wish I had been on the ball enough to have my son reply to his grandmother (my stepmother, a really wonderful woman) in that way when he asked me to "Tell Grandma that those e-mail things aren't true." He's almost 19 and I wimped-out and told him to just ignore the e-mails.

:pals:

...confirm the beliefs of the writer, should be taken with a grain of salt, even when they aren't at Snopes.

It's a hallmark of a hoax. I get discouraged at what people buy into without asking a single question.

It's nauseating the way some people buy everything people forward them in e-mails as fact. I'm glad you gave her the truth.

You are so much sweeter than I have been known to be. Have you ever been to Anger Management classes? Your "This has me upset" is exactly what you're supposed to say. Not, "Goddammit Aunt Barbara, stop sending me this shit?" like I have used in the past.

I haven't had anger management but writing my thoughts out (because of the late hour when I read the email) gave me a chance to compose my thoughts in an assertive but not aggressive way, I hope.

She says, "I don't agree with everything I forward, but I like to see what's making the rounds and share it with people if I find the perspective interesting."

Sounds reasonable. Except some of the forwards she gets from our relatives are so moronic that I can't believe anyone can read them with a straight face, let alone forward them to someone else.

why wouldn't you call your mother on the phone to discuss this in detail instead of relegating it to an email exchange for the masses?

If it was my Mom, I'd have called her and walked her through why and how the initial email was wrong rather than rely upon a lame email response.

She's your Mom, for crying out loud. Not just another anonymous internet chat friend, msn contact, DU poster, or myspeace buddy.

Just saying.

edited typo.

I needed to get my thoughts down right at the time I first read her email when it was too late to call her. She knows now that I want to talk and has time to reflect on what I said. We will talk about it.

I really didn't think my message to her was lame. I edited it for posting on the board. You don't get to learn my cousin's and the neighbors names and I can assure you I don't sign my letters to her "Love, swimboy."

So you really think I handled this in the worst possible way, huh?

to not interfer or cause issue. they allow not a direct confrontation, allowing time to sit with something, digest, and reflect... those are not bad things. especially with family and friends there are some discussions i like putting out in email. if we then go to phone, that is great. but a thought can be throughly read, without interuption, ergo misunderstandings.

i think your post lack insight, and makes assumptions. i dont agree with it at all

Good job!

Recently I have been practicing the "soft answer" myself.

Hekate

My mom is a very religious woman, and I really get angry when she sends me hateful emails.

Your mom should be very proud of you. I hope it gets through.

Love conquers all.