Ok, I'm going nuts and being too anal about the taxi book

So I'm posting one more chapter. First, very short, chapter of the first section "Departure and homecoming" someone let me know if you think we're on the right track.

Section one:
Departure and Homecoming

Chapter one-Marching to the beat of a broken record
“Heard a bang, bang, bang, and down you go. It’s just a job I do.”
-Genesis

I was fortunate enough once to see a group of deploying soldiers as they were assembling in their barrack’s courtyards in full combat uniforms, ruck sacks and rifles included. It truly is an awesome sight to behold while being extremely sobering at the same time. Scores and probably hundreds of figures dressed in the colors of dirt, stone and leaf, all identical in countenance and purpose, form parade perfect columns and wait for buses or load equipment on to waiting trucks. The packs and guns that will be constant companions in the coming year bend their shoulders at odd angles though they carry them with duty and strength. All faces are solemn and it is impossible watching this not to dwell on the fact that they are all marching off to equally unknown fates.

This particular deployment in the summer of 2006 was a rotational one that we had been anticipating for a while of over 3,000 troops. The base represents a significant percentage of our business so we keep abreast of all deployments and big leave times because we know those times will be hard on the wallet. The 10th Mountain Division has been embroiled in the War on Terror since its beginning and still bears much of the light infantry workload in Iraq and Afghanistan. They are one of the most deployed divisions in the army and many of these troops were headed off to their second and third tours already at this time.

I am a professional voyeur and eavesdropper by the nature of my job and my proximity to my customers. Weeping wives, children, husbands left on porches, newlyweds sharing perhaps their last embrace as distance rips a new marriage apart before it’s out of its infancy, fathers putting on brave faces silently praying they won’t have to bury their heirs, mothers saying inconceivable goodbyes to their “babies”, all the lonely constants war brings but are not seen by the uninvolved masses are mine to witness and it pains me with guilt some of the intimate moments I unwittingly share with our troops. Maybe it’s perceived as somewhat pretentious of me but when I learn one of my passengers is shipping off soon to theater I go out of my way to shake their hand and tell them to keep themselves safe and make it back to us. I don’t know if it helps them to know one more person outside their obvious loved ones is thinking about them but I feel I have to. I think it would help me.

I’ve met a lot of the “soon to be deployed” in the months leading up to the summer deployments and I can’t bring myself to ask them too much about their feelings. How do you ask someone if they’re afraid of dying? Of course they are, and most volunteer that. When they speak of their impending deployments whether it’s their first or third tour the vibe is very matter of fact. They’re all still just punching the clock, doing the job, what choice do they have? Many have indicated a feeling that they feel they’re in a nearly endless conflict and accept eventual escalation in the Middle East as an inevitable thing.

When I dare to tread into the troop’s personal views on the conflict they are about to join or in most cases return to there are very few overt declarations of going to “fight an honorable cause” and I’ve met maybe three in one hundred that feel that they are being led by a competent Commander in Chief or that care at all who is in charge. The overwhelming feeling I get is simply of “doing the job”. I meet soldiers all the time who reenlist or indeed even request deployment back to combat sooner than they are required to. In one breath they’ll describe what hell on earth it is and in the next express a desire to return as soon as possible. The reasons? Almost universally it is because that is where their friends and coworkers are, and they need to get back to the job. Money motivates some, primarily the newer recruits who at this time are being offered as much as $40,000 in a lump sum for joining, refundable on survival of your first combat tour. Many speak of luxurious vehicles that they will own in a year or the new house they’ll buy for their family to live in after he’s deployed again in six months. I silently pray they’ll return to enjoy their temporary riches.

I’ve met some who do extol some of the more nebulous concepts the Iraq conflict was sold to the American public on. “We’re doing good over there”, “Fighting them over there”, “Helping to build a democracy”, etc. etc. but in my experience it has not been the majority and certainly not the majority opinions among the actual veterans I’ve met as opposed to the ones who have never seen combat. The enthusiasm some express to get back is sometimes disturbing but understandable when they explain it to me. This is what they do. As long as someone tells them to go fight then that is the job they’re paid for and they will do it honorably and to the best of their ability. Follow orders, accomplish the mission, kill the enemy, stay alive and make it home. This is now the simple motto these men and women must learn and live. The complexities and splendors of the real world, which many of these young troops no doubt only started to experience are now made moot and life is boiled down to these points for the world of the battlefield.

I picked up many soldiers the day of the aforementioned assembly and learned that they make the soldiers wear pretty much full battle fatigues their whole day of deployment which I thought petty and kind of cruel at first, I mean come on, let the guys and girls dress down for a day for God’s sake! When I saw the assembly I understood better. This is the suit they wear to work. It is the costume that triggers the mind to turn man and woman into man killer and warrior. It is the mind they need to be in to survive the coming year. Thousands board buses and then planes and the beat goes on, la dee da dee da. <rights for “the beat goes on” quote>

that's wonderful. :applause: You are amazing.

:)

This book will be a best seller, I predict. Your writing style, along with the topic, is compelling. I don't have much money, but after reading this, I'm going to start setting some aside to buy the book when it is published.

It's got fantastic potential. My inclination is it needs a bit of editing, and a little less flourish. For instance, the first sentence - "I was fortunate to see a group of deploying soldiers as they were assembling in their barrack's courtyards. In full combat uniforms, ruck sacks and rifles and helmets, it was an awesome sight to behold, and sobering at the same time."

But that's just me, I'm no writer. Having read many of your posts though, I know you've got the makings of a great book, maybe even a dramatic series. I think people are very interested in peeking across the classes, into lives we're not familiar with. We're very disconnected and trying to figure out how to move forward in a more unified way I think. Keep at it!!

Well written.

29 uses of "I" or variations thereof. I still advise you to remove yourself from the story. You are the storyteller, not the subject. Unless you personally bring something heartstoppinglybreathtakingly compelling to these stories, your continued first-person presence in the text will only dilute the collection and turn off agents/editors.

Just my humble opinion.

I was thinking of alternating stories of departure and homecoming for this sections. Each a short chapter and then a summary chapter to close it.