"libruls are ruining everything"

Today begins Day-3 of my visit with my family in MN...

My dad's political views makes rush limbaugh look reasonable and ann coulter seems sane in comparison- so when I visit I try to avoid discussing anything that would lead to a political discussion. This is difficult, because even chatting about the weather ends up in a debate about global warming.

I am only able to see my family about once a year, so I try to bite my tongue when my dad goes off on one of his ditto-head-o'reillyest rants. Usually by the time I leave my tongue is bruised from biting it so much.

Yesterday I went to my niece's school and spent some time as a "media aide" for her 4th grade class. I was a bit taken aback that my niece's class had 33 students - that's alot of students for one teacher to handle. Well, at dinner last night, my sister asked how it went at the school. I mentioned the large class size, and said it seemed very large and is this typical?

My sister said, sadly 30-35 students per classroom was typical since the "no-child-left-behind" stuff started. To compensate for reduced federal funding, the schools reduced the number of classrooms and cut out the paid-teacher aide positions. They are depending on parents to come in and help. Unfortunately, there are few homes where one parent is not working and therefore able to come in to help. the majority have either both parents working or are single-parent homes.

I told them that when I was a work supervisor in a sheltered-workshop (working with mentally retarded and/or physically disabled adults) that I often had to supervise up to 30 workers all with varying degrees of abilities. It was near impossible to give the attention needed to each of them - and most of the time the best I could do is just maintain control - so I could imagine the level of education the kids are getting at school.

This set my dad off on a tirade about how putting special needs kids in regular classrooms was ruining education and it's all the liberals fault. I blew up - told him that in my experience the adults I had worked with who did the best - were the ones who were raised at home and attended schools which had Main-Stream type programs - whereas those who grew up in institutions or "special schools" had the most problems.

From there - my dad went on a tirade about how now that the "woodstock tie-dyers" are in charge it's the decline and fall of the country, going the way of the roman empire...

We got into a shouting match, a pained look from my mom made me shut up, I basically said to my dad "I'm only here once a year for a visit, let's not fight." He grudgingly sort of agreed, but through the rest of the evening took periodic pot shots at me, and my sister would lightly kick my leg from under the table to remind me to bite my tongue.

There is a slight ray of hope, I saw a sliver of that light last year during my visit, when my mother bluntly stated she regretted voting for bush (both times) and thought he was the worst president ever. this year the ray of hope was a bit larger - as my mom and I watched TV later last night, she told me that "..listening to your father go on about politics is like listening to re-runs of that rush limberger, limbaugh, whatever, idiot on the radio or that other jerk on the TV - (O'Reilly) - and she wish there was a way to block those channels so she didn't have to listen to their stupidity..."

She went on to tell me that I was right about what I said at the dinner, but "..you know your father, he's stubborn and thinks he's right about everything and if you don't agree 100% then you are stupid..."

She asked me to try not to bring up politics - I said I would, but it's difficult because dad turns any subject into a political debate - even the pros and cons of using a wooden pencil v.s. a mechanical pencil ends up with how the increase use of mechanical pencils is putting wooden pencil manufacturers out of business and it's the "libral's fault".

To give you a better idea of what my dad is like - I noticed a list of books he is going to buy today at Barnes & Noble:

Culture Warrior - o'reilly
100 people who are screwing up america - bernard goldberg
the end of the world as we know it - mark steyn
The terrorist living among us - steve emerson

My flight on tuesday can't come soon enough. Hopefully I can survive until then. Later this morning, I'm going over to my sister's house to help her put together new beds for my nieces, and tonight my sister, mom and I are going out to dinner with my brother and his s/o. Dad is staying home with my nieces because he doesn't like the "nut & twig" restaurant.

Tomorrow is a big family get-together to celebrate one of my niece's and mom's birthday. So the morning and early afternoon is going to be filled with getting the house and food ready. I have already checked the liquor cabinet, and there's plenty for me to drink.

I think next year before I visit, I'm going to talk to my doctor about some drugs to "cool me out" - but I don't know if they make "reich-wing blockers" lol

wish me luck - approx. 72 hours left and counting

channels, like FOX. If I were your mother, and dad tried to turn on FOX and was met with a screen asking for a password, I'd cast my eyes heavenward and say in the most innocent voice possible, "I wonder what's wrong with the teevee, it was working fine last night."

(a few extra hours for good measure).

Thanks for the write up - glad to hear about your mom's shift in perspective - that glimmer must have felt good.

Hang in there!

your mother to see you... :shrug:

you should do is arrange to have your mom visit you once a year and forget about seeing your father. Even though I know that's probably not a workable solution at all.

If you can possibly get a word in edgewise, you might want to try to tell your father that it's "libruls" who want to fund schools for smaller class sizes, it's conservatives who typically vote against school bond issues. It's "libruls" who want an appropriate education for all children, and conservatives who want to shut out those who have special needs. Talk to people in Texas and it was under Bush that their education system -- never that good to begin with -- was gutted. And so on.

I'm personally heartily sick and tired of continued blame of "libruls" for everything that's gone wrong given that conservatives have been in charge of Congress for so long.

Most of them are better off in mainstreamed settings. Only problem is, we don't train those teachers to meet their needs and there is no way they can do that anyway when they have 30 kids. NCLB has been especially horrible for special ed kids and programs.

for precious metals like gold and hate,both commodities are indicators of bad times,which is what assholes like Ann Cold turd and this Raving Lunatic depend on.Every human success depends on intelligent responsibility ,which is is why it's hard to be a Democrat.http://www.democraticunderground.com/articles/04/09/03_hard.html

more patience than I. Sounds like he has loads of blinding rage at something or other.

But I did like the part about the " woodstock tie dyers" ruining the country. Woodstock tie-dyers. Hilarious. I have not heard that one in years.

is it seems most of the really hyper conservative types seem to be from that era. It's like they are still fighting the vietnam era fights. Iraq and Bush seem to have brought all the old resentments that went unresolved out of them and they seem to spout all the old retoric. Like, pinkos, hippies, your dad's Woodstock tye dyers. This is 60s stuff. Suddenly this has been revived and it's all going around again. Maybe the fact that so much of Iraq and with the Administration having so many Nixon era people in it and mimicing it, brought it all to the surface.
I wonder if you sat with your dad and asked him why he is so angry. Ask him why he is blaming people who happen to think different from him. Try to find a quiet spot away from people and find out what is at the bottom of his anger. And maybe you two have to scream it out.
Sometimes this can get old feelings and hiden anger out in open and can be dealt with from that.
Sometimes peace comes only when the hidden is brought to the open and healing can begin.

born in 1928

he's always leaned conservative, but the older he gets, the more he leans - one day he's just going to fall over from leaning so much to the right. it's gotten even worse since he retired and has rush limbaugh (et al) super-glued in his ears.

forget trying to engage in a reasonable debate about anything - this has been going on for many many many years.

and if I do manage to point out an inconsistency in any of his "talking points" his response is "that's different".

I might stop at a medical supply place today and pick up a home IV system, fill the bag with vodka and just stay plastered. lol

PARENTS (lol).

my went back home to east Texas on what we call her annual pilgrimage to the Holy Land-she's frpm Palestine. It only takes about 3 drinks to get her totally wasted and she drank about half a bottle of Wild Turkey on that trip. This was before we were married so I wasn't there but I can imagine. Two days is the maximum either one of us can take of them. Every second sentence has the n-word in it. She doesn't remember what she said after the Turkey but it must have been good since the relatives didn't bug her for about three years after that.

Hang in there, you will be fine. 72 hours will fly by. LOL.

Enjoy your days with the rest of the family and feel bad that your Dad has been so easily brainwashed. He is not alone, there are about 25% who still agree with him.

I don't send him the link, and my mom won't either... If I ever get them in a publication which pays me for them, then I might

Damn, you should be getting paid for your cartoons, They are excellent.

Your stuff is better than 90% of the stuff that currently appears in the "MSM."

My sympathies about your father and I hope you can take some of the good advice that you're getting here.

I'm just going to stay plastered for the remainder of the time...

:beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer:

My father used to deliberately antagonize me at the dinner table when I was a child. (Initially I committed the sin of not understanding why a "mixed race couple" was a bad thing by being friends with them, when he was a racist.) It pretty much killed a lot of my respect for him. It was also an extremely emotionally abusive scenario.

Frankly, if I were you, I would ignore the "push button" issue (politics) and address the REAL issue which is why your father thinks its okay to yell at you, pretty much tell you that you are stupid/ignorant, and make visits home absolute hell. Does he want you to be grateful when he's dead? Does he have no respect for you as an adult? Or does he have some kind of personality disorder? The fact your mother is enabling him (and/or thinks this type of behavior is acceptable), while your sister is obviously used to it and "kicks you under the table" so YOU will behave (!) is sad.

Your father can think you are "wrong" politically, and still treat you/your opinions with respect. There are a bunch of DU'ers here who talk about how their families do it all the time. My own father-in-law actually behaves NICELY about politics, even though we are on opposite sides of the political spectrum (I'm the one who threatened to name his soon to be born grandchildren "Clinton" and "Chelsea" just to bug him!) so I know it can be done. My father-in-law makes it look, well, POLITE! :)

Oh, and we finally figured out my father was a classic narcissist. It made understanding his behavior easier, once we figured out that he was mentally ill and not just a complete asshole. Life has been easier since he passed two years ago, and that is the saddest part of the story. I *want* to miss him, but GOD! The drama level has decreased SO MUCH!!!

Good luck! :hug:

If I had my way, this is what I'd do for public education and university education:

1) New national standard, uniform throughout the nation.

If you go to school in Mississippi, you should be on par with a student in Massachusetts or California as far as educational quality goes. The federal government will help states achieve this new, higher, uniform standard nationwide. If a state is not able to fund the new mandate, it will pay the difference for the state to help it. Poor states, obviously, will need the most help.

2) A program to double or quadruple the number of qualified teachers.

We can put a man on the moon, but we can't cut a classroom size in half? Grants and other financial incentives must be offered to keep and maintain students who will become tomorrow's teachers.

3) Raising entry level qualifications for public universities.

With reforms in public education being implemented, we are going to raise standards at the university as well.

4) If a student is able to meet these new entry level qualifications, then I feel he or she should have education subsidized completely by the Pell Grant Program.

5) Increasing funding and raising standards for vocational education programs nationwide for all students who either cannot qualify for univerity or do not wish to attend university and for ordinary workers looking for new skills.

The standards at vocational schools should be uniform throughout the country, and the quality should be on par with the rest of the industrialized world. We'll help states achieve the mandate if they do not have the resources to meet it alone.

Of course, you don't have to listen to me. Nobody listens to leftists. :sarcasm:

but he's of the mind "my country right or wrong" mentality - so in a roundabout way, yes he's among the few bush supporters left

I still believe if you do feel you want to resolve it with him and find out why he is so angry, to sometime just go somewhere quiet and let it out. I'm lucky. My dad was born in 32. He was a Kennedy supporter turned to Nixon and loved Reagan and then, became an independent. He never bought into the angry white man thing. I think he became independent in the 90s due to the hate politics of the right.

My sister and I are like that. We went for months in 2004 without speaking to each other, and we're still on eggshells even now. If politics come up, it rapidly deteriorates into a screaming match. So I have to really watch what I say around her.

And I hate it. I hate that Bush* and the neocons have so divided my family that I can't even feel comfortable with my own sister anymore. Neither of us are getting any younger, and someday she won't be around, and we'll have spent all these years tip-toeing around each other and missing so much.

For this, and for all the other vastly more widespread and devastating results of his actions, may George W Bush face the justice he so richly deserves.

has been in our family for as long as I can remember - it's just gotten worse over the years

as far as some sort of reconciliation - ain't gonna happen any too soon.

Dad is 1st generation American of german descent. I once sent him a bumper sticker that said "you can always tell a German - you just can't tell him much"

that pretty much sums it up

She is from France and very political. I learned at her knee. She hates republicans and especially Bush. The French are very stubborn and love to debate. However, with her a liberal and all us kids liberals, well, we don't debate but, talk about what we all agree on.
My parents are divorced but, my dad is not an angry conservative. A reagan republican turned indie.

Same exact story with my sister. We aren't talking right now, all over politics. We had shouting matches followed by months of not talking to each other through the last 6 years. We basically ignored each other at the family Christmas dinner.

Is there a local head shop near by? Pick up some tie-dye shirts and a fringe vest and some love beads. But DON'T bring up politics!

Sending you some "librul" love !!! :loveya:

I didn't know what to get my niece for a b-day present, and decided to wait until I came out here to talk to my sister about it.

She told me my niece likes doing crafty type things, so yesterday afternoon I went to a local craftstore

I bought her a few white t-shirts and a tie-dye kit for her birthday.. :rofl:

:applause:

My dad is not very adept with the computer... I may change his homepage to "The Nation"

:evilgrin: :rofl:

Sadly the thing that would make an even with REPUG relatives most bearable, also makes it most risky...


Hang in there. I empathize.

I just tend to sit quietly with a stupid grin on my face and enjoy the buzz

I finally let them know that if they are going to bring up politics they couldn't expect me to sit silently without voicing my opinion. I refused to accept the responsibility for being the trouble maker when someone else brought the subject up.

Tell him to pretend to be a liberal or a Dem conservative for a week and see if it doesn't suit him better. If he feels somehow better at the end of a week, he should stick with it. Otherwise, there is always the sinkhole of anger addiction to return to.

Of course, I don't recommend boozing it up unless you and your dad are the kind of drunks who get more friendly when plowed.

And, that's the truth. :hug:

18-21. never allowed to go over 21. that from a very conservative area recognizing 30-35 students is too much for a teacher.