A Canadian Apology to the US

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry. I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron, but it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all, it's not like you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you, doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own. It would be like if, well, say you had ten times the television audience we did and you flood our market with great shows, cheaper than we could produce. I know you'd never do that.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours. As word of apology, please accept all of our NHL teams which, one by one, are going out of business and moving to your fine country.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq . I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you want to have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

I'm sorry we burnt down your White House during the War of 1812. I see you've rebuilt it! It's very nice.

I'm sorry for Alan Thicke, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Loverboy, that song from Seriff that ends with a really high-pitched long note. Your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer, but we feel your pain.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. Because we've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

Huh. I had forgotten all about it.

:popcorn: :evilgrin: :kick:

;)

I'll go stand in the corner for 22 Minutes.

(tung Circus)

with my divine sperm."

:puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:

But the media keeps us that way. Gotta go, another Rosie-Trump segment.

It's there if you look. Too bad more people don't.

(That said, I agree the corporate media is a travesty, that is should be broken back up, and that the Fairness Doctrine should be reinstated, for the benefit of the people who just take in whatever's on the tube--gotta help them out!)

who tries to copy us and speaks French with his weird little friends. :hug:

(Although I'll admit Neil's voice is, well, grating. He's a genius songwriter, though -- he should just get someone else to sing his songs. He's kind of like Leonard Cohen in that way.)

I have always enjoyed their contribution.

I thought you were indicating that we should apologize for inflicting them on you.

We just marvel at how tolerant Canadians are about having to live in the same room as the
flatulent elephant.

Canadian pod people, à la Invasion of the Body Snatchers. You notice how well we pass for Yankee? It all started with Canada's Mary Pickford -- America's Sweetheart.

Original script of Gordon Sinclair's commentary:



"The Americans" The United States dollar took another pounding on German, French and British exchanges this morning, hitting the lowest point ever known in West Germany.

It has declined there by 41% since 1971 and this Canadian thinks it is time to speak up for the Americans as the most generous and possibly the least-appreciated people in all the earth.

As long as sixty years ago, when I first started to read newspapers, I read of floods on the Yellow River and the Yangtse. Who rushed in with men and money to help?

The Americans did.

They have helped control floods on the Nile, the Amazon, the Ganges and the Niger. Today, the rich bottom land of the Misssissippi is under water and no foreign land has sent a dollar to help.

Germany, Japan and, to a lesser extent, Britain and Italy, were lifted out of the debris of war by the Americans who poured in billions of dollars and forgave other billions in debts. None of those countries is today paying even the interest on its remaining debts to the United States.

When the franc was in danger of collapsing in 1956, it was the Americans who propped it up and their reward was to be insulted and swindled on the streets of Paris. I was there. I saw it.

When distant cities are hit by earthquakes, it is the United States that hurries into help... Managua Nicaragua is one of the most recent examples. So far this spring, 59 American communities have been flattened by tornadoes. Nobody has helped. The Marshall Plan .. the Truman Policy .. all pumped billions upon billions of dollars into discouraged countries. Now, newspapers in those countries are writing about the decadent war-mongering Americans. I'd like to see one of those countries that is gloating over the erosion of the United States dollar build its own airplanes. Come on... let's hear it!

Does any other country in the world have a plane to equal the Boeing Jumbo Jet, the Lockheed Tristar or the Douglas 107? If so, why don't they fly them? Why do all international lines except Russia fly American planes? Why does no other land on earth even consider putting a man or women on the moon? You talk about Japanese technocracy and you get radios. You talk about German technocracy and you get automobiles. You talk about American technocracy and you find men on the moon, not once, but several times ... and safely home again. You talk about scandals and the Americans put theirs right in the store window for everyone to look at. Even the draft dodgers are not pursued and hounded. They are here on our streets, most of them ... unless they are breaking Canadian laws..are getting American dollars from Ma and Pa at home to spend here. When the Americans get out of this bind ... as they will... who could blame them if they said 'the hell with the rest of the world'. Let someone else buy the Israel bonds, Let someone else build or repair foreign dams or design foreign buildings that won't shake apart in earthquakes.

When the railways of France, Germany and India were breaking down through age, it was the Americans who rebuilt them. When the Pennsylvania Railroad and the New York Central went broke, nobody loaned them an old caboose. Both are still broke. I can name to you 5,000 times when the Americans raced to the help of other people in trouble. Can you name me even one time when someone else raced to the Americans in trouble?

I don't think there was outside help even during the San Francisco earthquake. Our neighbours have faced it alone and I am one Canadian who is damned tired of hearing them kicked around. They will come out of this thing with their flag high. And when they do, they are entitled to thumb their nose at the lands that are gloating over their present troubles. I hope Canada is not one of these. But there are many smug, self-righteous Canadians.

And finally, the American Red Cross was told at its 48th Annual meeting in New Orleans this morning that it was broke. This year's disasters .. with the year less than half-over… has taken it all and nobody...but nobody... has helped.

ORIGINAL SCRIPT AND AUDIO COURTESY STANDARD BROADCASTING CORPORATION LTD. (c) 1973 BY GORDON SINCLAIR

Airbus then. Was there?

... but then, I'm one of those Dumbass Americans.

to change this.

But thank you for realizing it and for trying to change. A double impeachment would be nice...

Sometimes having too much (oil) of a good thing can be a curse.

;)

Don

But I would say that unless the US recognizes our gay marriages as valid and lets us legalize pot, we should cut you off from our oil, natural gas, electricity, and comedians. Of course, then your tanks would roll over the border...

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Ugh.

Just kidding. I love Canada. Seriously!

We've already apologized for Celine. In writing. How else can we say it other than that we're very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very sorry for that?

As it happens, Celine is wrapping up her Las Vegas shows at Caesar's Palace earlier than expected, because when she sings, the controllers at nearby Nellis AFB can't hear the planes take off and land.

They took all the letters of the alphabet, put them in a hat, pulled out 1 at a time, and read them off:

C, eh!
N, eh!
D, eh!

:P

:rofl:

:rofl:

http://www.satirewire.com/news/feb02/warship.shtml

CANADIAN WARSHIP SEIZES TANKER IN... WAIT... CANADA HAS A WARSHIP?
Oh Right, and Switzerland Has Nuclear Weapons

Arabian Sea (SatireWire.com) — Canadian television reported Friday that a Canadian warship in the Arabian Sea had seized a tanker suspected of smuggling oil from Iraq, leading many to suspect that the report was a hoax.

"You're kidding, right? Canada has a warship?" asked U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. "Like for war?"

"Does Canada know?" he added.


:rofl:

I thought the "boat" folks were in the Vancouver area and the "boot" folks were more in the Northeast.

But mostly we pronounce it the same across the country (except some of us from the Prairies who actually say "about"). I think the idea that we say "aboot" comes from the fact that many Americans, especially in the south, pronounce "boot" like "boat".

By the way, our Northeast is somewhere around Baffin Island.

Vancouverites speak English....... and Mandarin and
and Cantonese and Punjabi and Spanish and Japanese and
Somali and Italian and German and Tagalog and Farsi and
Arabic etc etc etc

You sure are getting a bit snippy there.

But we understand. Capitalistic Harper is a bit much and can get under a Canadian's socialistic skin.

My friend David Orchard has written a very eye-opening book, The Fight for Canada: Four Centures of Resistance to American Expansionism. Here's a link:

http://davidorchard.com/online/2do-index.html

I'll take it! Our taxes are some of the highest in the nation....:P

year I am completely surrounded by snowbirds from


Canada, and they are all so......so very.......


uh....ummm................


polite and civilized............nevermind!!


:toast:

Can't find many bush supporters here. In fact, we've been trying to end his rule for years. I won't hold that against Canada though because I love Canada.

I live in Seattle. Contrary to what the city wants you to believe, our slogan is not Metronatural (what the fuck is that?) but Almost Canada.

I love you, man!

Please?

....your apology, but don't let it happen again....like I've said in the past, Canada needs to humble itself living next to the worlds' greatest and most superior nation....

....to that end, may I suggest that the average Canadians' attitude needs to better reflect our countrys' inherent superiority over yours....you need to reflect your forth-nation status better....I offer this as constructive criticism....but face it, we are much more advanced than you....

....we have scientifically developed and proven the need to dominate and control others while rejecting co-existing for any common good....you on the other hand, are way back in the last century trying to accomodate others and get along peacefully....someday you'll advance and modernized....

....until then, we can still be friends as long as you remember to walk ten paces behind us....I wouldn't want you to get hurt, we take large steps....

As a Canadian, I just wanted to let you know that Intravenous doesn't speak for all of us. Sure, we all have beefs now and again, but over all we can be civil and friendly to each other. I state my opinion on issues I feel strongly about, but that doesn't mean I take it personally on everyone in America.
No need for a jihad here. Both countries rock IMO.

Obviously I don't speak for all Canadians, for instance Stephen Harper and co.

BTW, my boyfriend (who introduced me to DU) is from Illinois, and he's seen this before and thinks it's grand.

Are you sure you're a Canuck? Intravavenous' post is ironic, it is humourous. That you can't see the humour makes one doubt your Canadian credentials. If you are in Winterpeg, why not sit outside a spell to chill.:crazy:

:)

I'm sorry that our government brought some of those NAZIS that ended up in our government and private sector through your country and that some of those very same people subjected your citizens to mind control "research".

I'm sorry that all the US nuclear tests contaminated your environment as it did it's worldwide tour.

I'm sorry that many of your military were killed by US forces in "friendly fire" incidents.

I'm sorry that some of your citizens have disappeared into the Special Access Programs that are called extraordinary rendition by the torturers and crazy cultists that have taken over the government here.

I'm sorry that in December of 2000 we had a coup of sorts here and that Mr. Harper and your RW have been accessories to it.

I have fond memories of driving into Ontario from the Sault St. Marie bridge-but that was 40 years ago, and it was a different era. I appreciate that Canadians are not Americans but I will state one thing clearly-do something about Heritage Front, P-3, etc. please, as we get rid of the Decider and HOMELAND(tm).

Bob

do something about Heritage Front

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2005/04/13/droege-050413.html

Heritage Front founder Droege shot dead
Last Updated: Thursday, April 14, 2005 | 6:07 AM ET
CBC News

A white supremacist who once led the neo-Nazi Heritage Front has reportedly been shot dead in a suburban Toronto apartment.

... Droege, 55, was born in Germany and moved to Canada in the early 1970s.

He joined the Ku Klux Klan in 1976 and tried to start a branch of the group in Toronto.

In 1981, he helped organize a failed attempt to invade the Caribbean country of Dominica and overthrow its government. He was given a three-year prison sentence.

Droege was arrested in Alabama in 1985 and charged with cocaine possession and a weapons offence. The U.S. deported him to Canada in April 1989 after he served a U.S. prison sentence for those charges.

In October of that year he set up the now-defunct Heritage Front.

Raise a glass on us!

(Apparently it was a love triangle gone wrong ...)

:evilgrin:

I've recently learned what that really means. O8)

I'm glad that's turned out to be another lie. But frankly, if you were true friends you would have passive-aggressively invaded us by now.

Or sent real beer.

Thanks for the chuckles. :)

They are shitting all over the place. I'd say we're even. :rofl:

Defiled by caca de canada goosies ... :cry:

We may never forgive you for that.

Have a nice day, eh?

but there are a few things y'all can do to seal the deal:

1) Keep "Trailer Park Boys" coming. Ricky and Bubbles are some of the best characters in TV. Julian's OK too.

2) Do everything in your power to stop Sum41. Please, I'm begging you.

3) More Joni Mitchell, less Shania Twain. More Ric Mercer, less Tom Green.

4) Finally, all your poutine belong to us.

I'll let you know if I think of any more. :evilgrin:

and it was an all-you-can-eat special. I was the skinniest person there, and I weigh almost 200 lb. It might be that everyone there had a much slower metabolism than I have, but if the clientele at that restaurant are indicative of the majority of Americans, trust me, the last thing you guys need is our poutine.

Your posts are killing me.:rofl:

And hey, poutine will probably kill you, too, if you eat enough of it. Fries, gravy, cheese -- hey, what's that sound? Is that clogged drains? No, it's my chokin' arteries!

Thanks.

And thanks for La Fin du Monde, too.

for the open border back there in the 60's.
Loved Trail,BC.

... for Tim Horton's. :puke:

Your target audience, after all.

I do not take ownership of the stupidity and unspeakable atrocities performed by the creatures who have hijacked our government, and the corporations who feed these beasts, perpetuating the gorss ignorance of the general public.

which evidently caused some Freeper heads to smoke and melt. But feel free to cut and paste, and try your luck.

There's nothing like dropping the "b*sh is a dumb monkey" bomb and counting the seconds till it gets pulled.

One where he was almost funny.

I miss that show :(

I take this opportunity to invite you to read the rest of the thread before you comment further, especially my post where I said the "Apology" arrived in my email last night. I hope you're not accusing me of plagiarism or something like that.

Intravenous never claimed she wrote it so what's with the snarky insinuation.:freak:

I've been reading various postings in forums for awhile, the initial posting usually sets the basis for the information/argument.

Afterwords, amendments to the post are acceptable, but since we like to bash bush for his initial "posts" and then bash bush for his "amendments" (like WMD, invading iraq, etc.)

I believe we need to be held to the same standards.

I also believe in this case it is quite trivial and enjoyed the truthyness of intraveneous' post.

i've got one freeper type site (houston texans) where they keep me around as their pet lefty, it wasn't until recently they've figured out most of my "material" is a direct quote from bart, or other lefty type place. i told them up front i was there for one reason only, to give them as much sh*t as was possible, since i figured they would go through life electing idiots like bush and making the rest of us pay, WITHOUT any type of retribution. so i figure im the one to let'em have it, with both barrels, plagiarism, whatever.


adios

red1

I didn't mean to put a comment in here. Sorry.

:rofl:

This video is AWESOME:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iU2Bqa0DoAg&eurl=

"Fox News, take this!" Hahaha, that was great.
I only had french in school so I'm not a native french speaker but I thought it sounded quite good.

and Loverboy, too! :blush: lol.

Although they did say in the South Park Movie that you have apologized for Bryan Adams many times before. Plus we got Rush and Triumph from you guys so.. all is forgiven.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Funniest thing I read all day K&R :toast: :woohoo:

on edit: Let me add an apology, after I wrote this I see Swamp Rat already mentioned Bryan Adams. Although he did spell it wrong :P

Yes, your boyfriend has seen this before and liked it very much. Your boyfriend thinks you should ignore some of the people here who don't appreciate this.

Your boyfriend just kicked and recommended it. But it's on the Greatest Page anyway, where it belongs.

Your boyfriend is watching "Jeopardy" right now.

And your boyfriend wants to say:

SHMILY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uApZuZ6RPy4
http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/mercer.asp

Phew. I was afraid somebody was posting that other awful old thing ...

http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/gordonsinclairtheamericans.htm
http://www.snopes.com/politics/quotes/sinclair.asp

The United States dollar took another pounding on German, French, and British exchanges this morning, hitting the lowest point ever known in West Germany. It has declined there by 41% since 1971, and this Canadian thinks it is time to speak up for the Americans as the most generous, and possibly the least-appreciated, people in all the earth.

As long as sixty years ago, when I first started to read newspapers, I read of floods on the Yellow River and the Yangtse. Well who rushed in with men and money to help? The Americans did, that's who.

They have helped control floods on the Nile, the Amazon, the Ganges, and the Niger. Today, the rich bottom land of the Mississippi is under water and no foreign land has sent a dollar to help. Germany, Japan, and, to a lesser extent, Britain and Italy, were lifted out of the debris of war by the Americans who poured in billions of dollars and forgave other billions in debts. None of those countries is today paying even the interest on its remaining debts to the United States.

When the franc was in danger of collapsing in 1956, it was the Americans who propped it up, and their reward was to be insulted and swindled on the streets of Paris. And I was there -- I saw that. When distant cities are hit by earthquake, it is the United States that hurries into help, Managua, Nicaragua, is one of the most recent examples.

So far this spring, fifty-nine American communities have been flattened by tornadoes. Nobody has helped.

The Marshall Plan, the Truman Policy, all pumped billions upon billions of dollars into discouraged countries. And now, newspapers in those countries are writing about the decadent, war-mongering Americans.

Now, I'd like to see one of those countries that is gloating over the erosion of the United States dollar build its own airplanes.

Come on now, you, let's hear it! Does any other country in the world have a plane to equal the Boeing Jumbo Jet, the Lockheed Tristar, or the Douglas 10? If so, why don't they fly them? Why do all international lines except Russia fly American planes? Why does no other land on earth even consider putting a man or a women on the moon?

You talk about Japanese technocracy and you get radios. You talk about German technocracy and you get automobiles. You talk about American technocracy and you find men on the moon, not once, but several times, and, safely home again. You talk about scandals and the Americans put theirs right in the store window for everyone to look at. Even the draft dodgers are not pursued and hounded. They're right here on our streets in Toronto. Most of them, unless they're breaking Canadian laws, are getting American dollars from Ma and Pa at home to spend up here.

When the Americans get out of this bind -- as they will -- who could blame them if they said "the hell with the rest of the world." Let somebody else buy the Israel bonds. Let somebody else build or repair foreign dams, or design foreign buildings that won't shake apart in earthquakes." When the railways of France, and Germany, and India were breaking down through age, it was the Americans who rebuilt them. When the Pennsylvania Railroad and the New York Central went broke, nobody loaned them an old caboose. Both of 'em are still broke.

I can name to you 5,000 times when the Americans raced to the help of other people in trouble. Can you name to me even one time when someone else raced to the Americans in trouble? I don't think there was outside help even during the San Francisco earthquake.

Our neighbors have faced it alone, and I am one Canadian who is damned tired of hearing them kicked around. They'll come out of this thing with their flag high. And when they do, they're entitled to thumb their noses at the lands that are gloating over their present troubles. I hope Canada is not one of these. But there are many smug, self-righteous Canadians.

And finally, the American Red Cross was told at its 48th Annual meeting in New Orleans this morning that it was broke.

This year's disasters -- with the year less than half-over -- has taken it all. And nobody, but nobody, has helped.

Ah, 1973 was a tough year ... sorry that we didn't sent troops to Vietnam, and sorry for contradicting Ann Coulter publicly on that point. ;)

Quietly, quietly building the North American Union
By Steven Yates
October 5, 2006
NewsWithViews.com

Just when you thought it might be safe to go on to topics other than regional integration and trade practices driven by the love of money and the lust for power, you get blindsided again.

While ordinary Americans were reflecting on the fifth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, globalists of Canada, the U.S. and Mexico were making their way quietly, quietly, to Banff, Alberta for the North American Forum held at the Fairmont Banff Springs Hotel Sept. 12–14. The meeting was closed-doors. According to some reports buses with attendees were arriving at night. There was no print media coverage in the U.S. and very little in Canada; I was able to download an article from the Toronto-based Star. Those who do not get their news from the Internet remain in the dark about one of the biggest unfolding events of the present decade: the globalist social engineering of a North American Union.

WorldNetDaily was able to obtain materials marked Internal Document, Not For Public Release. The whistleblower, Mel Hurtig, noted Canadian author, publisher, and leader of the National Party of Canada, told WorldNetDaily that the “secret meeting was designed to undermine the democratic process…. It was clear that the intention was to keep this important meeting about integrating the three countries out of the public eye.”

Representing the U.S. in Banff was Former U.S. Secretary of State George Schulz. Representing Mexico was Former Mexican Finance Minister Pedro Aspe. Representing Canada was Former Premier of Alberta, Peter Lougheed. The first session featured opening comments by each. The sessions that followed had names like, “A Vision for North America: Issues and Options,” “Toward a North American Energy Strategy,” “Demographic and Social Dimensions of North American Integration,” and “Border Infrastructure and Continental Prosperity.”

cont'd...

http://www.newswithviews.com/Yates/steven23.htm

I myself might be somewhat persuaded if, and only if, Canada were guaranteed exactly the same number of seats in the North American parliament as the United States, despite our having only about one-tenth your population. Anything less and, well, sorry...