The Onion: Rumsfeld Leaves Most Recent Job Off Resumé

From The Onion

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/57536

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"What's most important about the last six years is that I discovered what I definitely don't want to be doing," Rumsfeld continued.

Though he has yet to receive any responses to the more than 50 resumés he has hand-delivered over the past month, Rumsfeld remains convinced that his job summary "covered the most important bases."

"I had already included my previous Defense Secretary stint in the '70s, and I thought another mention would be redundant," said Rumsfeld, who also believed the two peacetime years he spent under President Ford better illustrate his more "transferable" skills, such as increasing a budget by 5 percent and maintaining a relationship with China. "I'm not going to put down every president I worked for. Best to keep it to one page."

"Why is no one talking about the strength of my cover letter, which I customized for each company?" Rumsfeld added...

...he's probably not looking for an outside sales position. Otherwise, I'm sure he would've trumpeted his excellent arms sales track record to brutal dictators.

He just has, er... low job insecurity.