Thoughts from my latest trip home (Christian Fundamentalism & addiction)

I returned home late last night after being stuck in an Oklahoma ice storm. My brother-in-law passed away and I had planned to travel down for the funeral and leave shortly after. It didn't work out that way.

Let me set the stage for you: Myself, my teenage daughter, three sisters, two brothers, a brother-in-law, two sisters-in-law, four nieces, four nephews and four dogs all hunkered down in a three bedroom home for three days and two nights. Out of the group, there were only three non-Christians (myself, my daughter and a niece). One sister and one brother are Christian fundamentalists. The rest are Christians, but not in the fundamentalist realm. We mostly sat, ate, played cards or other games and chatted.

One of my nieces is in a bad spot. She's depressed and has 24/7 anxiety issues. To complicate matters, she has been seeing a doctor who does little more than write her prescriptions. She was on two different sleeping pills, an anti-depressant, and two different anti-psychotics. Needless to say she was a complete zombie -- walking as if she suffered from Parkinsons, barley able to keep her eyes open, etc.

Since I've had issues in the past with anxiety, my sisters (one of whom is the girl's mom) were asking me about her medications. They had planned to just stop giving her the pills. I was trying explain how doing so would be a very bad thing and how they needed to go to a doctor and work with the doctor to taper her off the medications. This is when my fundamentalist sister (the mom) told me that she knew what her daughter and I both needed: The Holy Ghost. If we would just let the Holy Ghost in our lives, he would heal us. I think I bit my lip so hard it bled. I tried to answer in a very nice way: "I know you have only the best intentions at heart, but..." I don't know if my attempt made its way past the religious beliefs or not. I hope, for my niece's sake, it did.

During the storm I was also informed about both the homosexual and liberal agendas. (I informed them I'd never received the liberal agenda and that none of my friends had a copy of the homosexual one.) I learned that the poverty stricken who were hit by the hurricanes were just suffering the wrath of God. (Because we all know God punishes those who do not believe in him by making them live in poverty. When I informed my family that my non-Christian household was close to living debt-free, they had little answer as to why we had escaped the wrath of God.)

And on and on and on... it was quite the experience.

When I was growing up in a small town in Iowa, overrun with Baptist, we couldn't play cards and dances were nearly taboo.

There was some card game called Phase 10, dominoes, Who Wants to be a Millionaire game and a couple of others. It's only Baptists who believe dancing and so forth is promiscuous. Fundamental Christians don't hold that tenement of faith.

...so I no longer even try. Haven't had contact with my religious family in decades. That works much better than "biting my lip"-- something I'm not good at anyway. Sorry you had no where else to go during the storm.

:banghead:

I don't care how kooky my family gets, they'll still have to put up with me -- I tell them I'm one of the crosses they have to bear. LOL!

Sometimes don't have to. Example. Some fundie's believe they need segregate themselves from heathens for fear of contaminating their soul. Worked with that type. No longer do they hassle me, because they try to minimize all contact with non-evangicals. Particularily with their children. This shows in curt conversations in work situations.
Those who knew them well, said they would say, gotta avoid them cause they are not saved. Works for me. But, I never did anything to offend this guy other than ignoring religion when it came up. Once fell at work , spraining an ankle. This person walked by at night. Said can you get up, I see a phone is near you and left. would not want him praying over my ankle anyway.

The strength of heroes you have. You need it to put up with that bs.

:shrug:

The roads were just too bad and we had too far to travel.

I know this will not make sense to most, but I do love my family. Yes, they have religious beliefs that I find disturbing at best, but they are also still the only family I have. No one else in the world knows our history -- understands being placed under so many blankets you can't move (mom's way of keeping us warm in the winter) or having a wet towel placed over your body in the middle of the night (mom's way of keeping us cool in the summer).

Besides, if I stop coming around, they will be so enclosed in their religious beliefs that they'll never see outside of it. At the very least, the presence of my immediate family does force them to re-think some of the things they've been told (like God punishing non-believers by making them poor).

"where Ｉ　ｗａｓ　ｆｒｏｍ＂：）

that's a joke, i think.

Good for you, sounds like you kept your cool. :thumbsup:

My sister is a fundamentalist in a small town in Northern CA and her daughter, my niece, who has struggled with depression, bad relationships, etc... has now joined an evangelical church in order to take away her problems.

I also have in-laws who are part of an extremely conservative sect of the catholic church. All of them are very depressed and heavily medicated and in unhealthy relationships.

My husband and I consider ourselves progressives, we do not attend church, we are not depressed, have good jobs, both of us enjoy our artistic pursuits--in fact, we are very happy and love each other's company. Our children, not raised in any faith, are very happy, do well in school, have wonderful friends, YET, both the evangelical and the catholic sides of our family look at us with pity, consider us "lost and wandering without an anchor", constantly pray for our "terrible state."

Sometimes I feel as though I'm in the twilight zone.

There is not other information needed to explain life's circumstances. I receive regular emails about being saved from cousins' fearful of my soul. When visiting them I am amazed when religion politics is avoided. How to cope with evangalicals amazes me. Is it possible. This cousin a prison dietician. Buy's into the Repug. agenda, even though I know the Repug gubernatorial candidate here supports privitatization within the prisons. A disconnect with reality there.
My question how can their obsession with interfering with our lifes allow for family ties to continue.
My wife's bashing of Bushism's to certain family members in advance of our get togethers, might just keep them out of my personal lives where they have no business. Bush = to decent morals,what a disconnect.

suffering the wrath of God - i guess they missed the book of Job in their deep bible studies. you might want to send it to them, with a "God bless you" attached.

world of narrow and judgemental viewpoints and unbridled stereotyping. Take a look at this article. I found it delightful. http://www.commondreams.org/views06/0220-22.htm

There are a few enlightened non-fundie souls here - though they definitely are in the minority. I am well acquainted with the fundie freepers. Some here truly are religious kooks. Others are just desperate for some hope in a difficult situation. Many are simply using the church for social position or business advantage. It can be difficult to live here and not be part of a church simply because you do become somewhat isolated. Granted this varies depending on one's field of endeavor.

I was approached and recruited to work here and then just over a year later was laid off along with about 30% of my co-workers. I've been a jobless schmuck for over 3 years now. I am a single educated professional female. I have little doubt that my employment prospects here would be greatly improved if I were involved in a church, married, and either a little less qualified or male.

I can't wait to see JOklahoma in my rear view mirror. But first the sheet of ice covering my driveway has to melt a bitmore.

and after I was away in the world for a while, I came to realize that lots of the practitioners at that end of the spectrum use religion and the rigid constraints in that variation for self-control, usually for issues which they have had problems controlling in the past. Whether it is something sexual, substance abuse, criminal activity, or more pedestrian out of control behaviors, religion serves as their frontal lobes.