Are You Tweetyphobic?

Do you break out into hives when you run across tall, goofy looking people with mops of straw for hair?

Do your breathing passages constrict and your heart race when someone keeps ceaselessly and rudely interrupting you?

Do you break out into a cold sweat when someone loudly proclaims one thing and the very next second proclaims something diametrically opposite?

Does an itchy rash develop on your extremities whenever you are confronted with someone who claims to have a balanced opinion panel of guests, only to then actually pack it entirely with rightwing shills?

Do you suffer from chronic acid reflux when Tweety and Ken Mehlman are on the same show and if you close your eyes and listen you can't tell which one is actually the head of the RNC?

Does your blood pressure reach dangerous levels when Tweety invites Jerry Falwell on for "balance" every damn time he discuss anything even remotely related to a gay issue?

Do you feel faint and nauseous whenever loud, thinning haired, blonde people ramble on pointlessly and obnoxiously for hours at a time?

Check with your doctor, as there is a good chance you might be Tweetyphobic.

Unfortunately, at this time, there is no cure for this alarming, rapidly spreading ailment.

I'll admit i'm guilty.

I think Tweety is kind of like Friendly's Restaurants. Everytime I eat there I leave saying never again. But at some point, I inevitably do go in there, thinking maybe this time it'll be better.