Why Cheney won't resign:

From the Home Office in Wahoo, Nebraska

Top Ten Reasons Dick Cheney Won't Resign
10. Trying to fix up Condi Rice with his daughter
9. Turns out when you shoot somebody, if you're not
vice president, you gotta do time
8. Bush leaves at two every day and then it's
margaritas and Fritos
7. Set the solitare high score on his office
computer
6. Wants to see if he can help Bush get his approval
rating under ten
5. Too hard to give up Vice Presidential Discount at
D.C. area Sam Goody stores
4. Wants to stay on the job until every country in
the world hates us
3. Extra-zappy White House defibrillators
2. Undisclosed location has foosball and whores
1. Why quit when things are going so well?

OMG. what a thought.