"Super-Successful Freedomizationzing of Vietraq"

One day, the Iraqis will realize that ever paternal America liberated them from destitution, indignity, and random brutality and into the arms of destitution, indignity, and random brutality.

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Today also marks the third anniversary of the beginning of the shockin' aweseome liberation of Iraq. I don't know what you buy on the third anniversary of a liberation. I think the first is morphine, and the second a false leg. Maybe the third is fresh bandages.

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So this morning, our reflections were upon the sacrifices of the men and women who wear our uniform. Each and every one of them is a Republican. Especially the dead. Because if there's any group of Americans on whose behalf I love speaking for, it's dead soldiers. It is an honor to put words in the mouth of such an agreeable group of Americans. This is one point those evil baby-eating faggots who worship Tom Cruise who call themselves Democrats can agree with me on.

Ours is an amazing nation where thousands have volunteered to serve our country, and we pay them back by ignoring their funerals, cutting their veterans benefits, and nickel-and-diming them on body armor. The best of America is fighting in Iraq; it's just too bad the worse are calling the shots in Washington. But look on the bright side: when was the last time a jetliner flew into your corporate park? Right?