Children of the Fifties - Society question for you

In having a discussion with my friend today, we began discussing the move to add additional camera in major cities across the country. Through the natural course of the conversation, we discussed many things concerning these camera, changing laws (using the new laws on no public smoking as an issue as well as the new "bar drunks testing) and how things that aren't illegal today could be outlawed tomorrow. She stated that she thought that things were better in the fifties because you can't discipline your children now without fear that they will "call the authorities" and report you for some level of abuse. She further stated that she thought kids "didn't debate the answers that their parents gave them, if they were told no, then no was the answer they had to accept". I stated that I thought kids in the fifties might have appeared to accept the answer, but that they went right ahead and did what they wanted most of the time anyway.

So, what was your experience? She asked me to post here and see what kind of answers I would get. She wanted to know if "your parents said no, did you do it anyway or did you stop for fear of getting a backhand across the face"?

I am not asking that anyone bash her, she has friendly, spirited discussions with me often, so that is not the issue here at all.

Was life "simpler"? Did parents have the final say all the time? Did you comply for fear of your parents "wrath"? If you could raise your children in a fifties-like atmosphere, would you choose to do that?

or came of age (meaning born in the 40's)

and most of the nation's "leaders" are now in their 50's and 60s, that should answer it. There was a lot of repressed feelings going on.

we respected them, or else! By mid-teens, it did become a contest of wills and raging hormones thrown in for good measure! :hi:

Of course, I was working 35 hours a week while doing well at school, and not being a jackass, too.

But before then? Holy shit, it was war!

And I got serious, old school whippings with a belt until I was almost 13. All it did was make me more committed to my position, whatever it was. You know what I learned from harsh whippings? That I can outlast anyone over anything, that I can take whatever anyone can dish out. It never changed my conduct one iota, otherwise, so as discipline it didn't work.

By the time I was 13, they were afraid to hit me any more, because I had become so openly immune to whippings, and my size and sinew were cause for alarm.

I don't hold it against them, either. They did what their era and subculture taught them. No hard feelings.

My dad is long since passed, but my mother is the sweetest little old lady you'd ever meet. I like to remind her she used to whip my butt hard for things her dog does daily now. She's said over and over they finally figured out "this ain't workin'!" You forget that life is learning curve for your parents, too, and when they're in their 20s, they're captives of their personal history, and they have kids - well, shit happens.

punishments; hands and belts were used often, and if none of us would 'fess up' to the crime at the time, we all got it. In retrospect, the line-up of 5 hienies in a row bared for a belt conjures up quite the image!
None of us were ever in trouble with the law, and still not to this day, or drugs to any heavy degree. I have to think the discipline worked to some extent.
I did get thrown out at the age of 17 for expressing my opinion - it took a full week for my twin sister to follow me. We moved in with friends, finished high school early, and ventured into the world.
There were a few years where I had minimal communication with them, but time did heal our wounds and we wound up being dear friends.

None of us were ever in trouble with the law, and still not to this day, or drugs to any heavy degree. "I have to think the discipline worked to some extent."

The 5 of us were NEVER hit. None of US in trouble with the law...

I think you thrived DESPITE the "discipline", not because of it....

I also know of friends of my folks who had major problems with their kids of the same ag, including major drug problems and suicide. And the family with those problems I 'think' were disciplinarians.
I must insert here that Dad was an only child and Mom was an orphan, so they were probably winging it as best they could.

if at all possible.

I don't think that has to do with being raised in the fifties, it has to do with the nature of being a kid.

My parents hit. I did not hit my kids.

A fifties-like atmosphere would be oppressive and patriarchal. It would be racist and anti-feminist. Who needs it?

I don't want to skew the answers though, so I won't say more just yet. Thanks!

I was beaten with a belt as a kid and there was no recourse. We couldn't talk back, we were forced to dress and act in certain ways. But every cloud has its silver lining and that treatment made me the wild liberal of the sixties and not much has changed since then.... don't tell me what to do, don't tell me what to say, ever.

They were simply the authority when I was a kid. Not for wrath but just that they were the boss. Didn't stop me from questioning as I grew older.

As for it being a simpler time, I'd have to say yes. We had one phone and one tv when we finally got them. I love my electronics, but I don't nearly have as much quiet, reflective thinking time as I did then. Now, it's multi task or be left in the dust. I miss the quiet. Seems like a much noisier world now.

I'm glad we didn't have a tv until I was into elementary school. I think it helped me to develop an imagination. I had to make up my own fun time alone or with friends. So, now, I rarely can say I'm bored.

Thanks for asking.

expect us to mind them. I did not really rebel until after I was out of high school but still living at home (I was a "good" girl).

I came to appreciate the rules, and saw them as my parent's way of keeping us safe while not suppressing us, and of giving us boundaries, which I firmly believe kids need (even though kids will try to push the boundaries).

One time, I came into the livingroom, and my parents were having a discussion about me and my siblings, and some of our friends (some of whom were real rebels and got into some big trouble). My dad looked at me, and said, "Your mom and I were just wondering what we did, that you kids turned out so well." I said, "What you did was, you cared about us enough to put your foot down about some of the things we wanted to do. You cared enough to set boundaries and rules, and you expected us to respect those."

I did the same with my daughter, and while she pushed the boundaries too, she turned out to be a fabulous young woman.

i was the 'good girl' too, but i did rebel and did it on my 18th birthday. in a furious huff, i moved out of the house into a motel with a kitchenette and my 3 month duration first boyfriend, who i married 5 months later :eyes:

dad was ex-marine and demanded obedience which meant ass-whuppings with belt, ruler, and hand, both dad and mom (albeit rarely for her). mom was more "wait until your dad get's home" kind of mother. she chased me around the dining room table once, tho - still laugh about it to this day :D

we were expected to be home for dinner, hands washed, and expected to eat what was put in front of us, including stuffed bell peppers, liver, and oysters :puke:. i remember the flying spoon and the belt over the chair. i don't ever remember having friends over for dinner either...

i survived :hi:

I don't know if that was better than today or not.

But let's remember the 50s was a bundle of situations, and spanking kids was just one of them. It included a segregated society, outright and open discrimation against gays, marginalization of women in the workplace and power, and oppressive social mores, including no abortion.

The good old days were never as good as remembered, nor as bad.

I, too, found a way around my parents (mom via dad); however, what WAS different was if I were to ever have spoken to my mother the way my kids did to me, I would have had less teeth than I have now! That, and I never, ever broke the law. All six of us knew that if we did get into trouble and got picked up, we would sit the nite out in the "hoosegow" and get triple punishment the next day!

Yes, I believe life was simpler. Summer nights running with your friends, riding bikes to the local watering hole, hangin' out at the pool hall/snack bar (only place for kids in my thriving metropolis of 900), mushroom hunting, camping, fishing, hot, lazy summer days, REAL snow storms *sigh* But then, I have always been accused of being a romantic so maybe the "simplicity" is just in my memories.

Jenn

the difference between the kids of the fifties that grew up in a more rural area and the kids that grew up in the city.

I don't want to skew the answers, so I won't say more just yet. Thanks for responding!

I was a kid in the 50s, teen in the 60s, and from 3rd grade to 12th I lived on military bases overseas.

And discipline was different. Get in trouble as a kid over there and it came down on your parents -- a kid acting up could cost a father his promotion, or see him transferred to Greenland. I, and my sisters, and the kids we knew became experts at covert activities. We said yes sir and no sir and figured out ways to do what we wanted anyway.

Incredible culture shock, returning to the states in 71 at 18. Raised to live a closed, insular life in the small American community, but at the same time lived within foreign cultures, visited world capitals, learned the basics of two languages besides American.

Coming back to the states we didn't fit in with small town America, despite the fact that my first high school only had 200 student, 9-12, like so many small towns, because if the breadth of experience we'd known; didn't fit with the pace and brusqueness of city life, despite the similar cosmopolitan background of traveling the world.

I didn't get in trouble, much, as a kid, but after high school I went into a severe tailspin because of not being able to find my place, not understanding why I didn't understand my own country. Kind of been that way ever since, in fact.

from one military brat (1955-1966, japan, washington state, and new york) to another! :hi:

My parents ruled the roost, also you were punished if the teacher singled you out for
discipline. Children were to be seen and not heard was the maxim. I remember my
mother said that if I cried when I got my smallpox shot for school, that she would
take me home and beat me.

just as bad - incest, illegal abortions, etc - it was just not talked about. Most things were worse - women were still seconds class citizens, blacks were discriminated against, divorcees were looked down on, etc.

No 50's for me, and I was born 1943.

For the 2010s!?!

Back then you could give your kid a swat on the butt if they misbehaved in public and you would not be arrested. Of course if you abused your child to the point where there were marks you would be arrested. Drugs were not a big problem back then. Most problems were with alcohol but not to the extent that you see today. I think that the fifties were a much better time to raise a family.

it was just hidden.

It was for sassing back at my mother. Had to stand in a corner as well. That's all it took for me. After that I was a well behaved child, one my parents could take to a restaurant without being embarrassed. So, your friend is right as far as I'm concerned. No was no, and I didn't do it anyway.

P.S. I don't think I'm damaged goods because of it either.

I loved and respected my parents. I was not a rebellious child until I turned 18. MY brother DID GET the strap for bushit reasons, but it doesn't seem he has any lasting problems with it. I had a mother that was her own person and she DIDN'T listen to my father as many did in that era.
I think life was simplier. Most things were balck and white and you knew how far you could cross the line. I KNEW girls in their teens that smoked, drank and had sex.I didn't, nor did my friends

and the ones I see that do are little robots who are probably beaten into submission. This is the statement that got me:
She stated that she thought that things were better in the fifties because you can't discipline your children now without fear that they will "call the authorities" and report you for some level of abuse. So things were better when parents were allowed to beat their children into submission? It was better for a child who was being sexually abused not to have somewhere they could turn to? Noto mention the state of civil rights for non-whites.

I graduated HS in 1960 so I did all the things you would expect. Elvis hair, smoking cigs. hanging out and I almost always did the exact opposite of what I was told to do. At the same time hichhiking was safe, walking kids were not kidnapped and swimming at the Y did not make tou a village person.

was just ending its naked era in the 50's in most places. There went a 100 year old tradition.

Or my Dad. Im 51 and I was lucky enough to get great parents, both blue collar types. Dad worked in a steel mill and Mom had over 50 yrs sweating her arse off in a pottery. But they were great parents and I never disobeyed them . They never led me wrong either.

My wife just told me that my sister in laws son attacked his own Mother. He raised his hand to punch her and luckily someone was there to stop him. I still cant believe that anyone would raise their hand toward their own Mother. Hes like 25 yrs old and messed up on drugs. He steals off his own people, been in and out of jail, hes a freakin mess. He doesnt come near my house and he knows better.

People STILL lay this kind of warped shit on their children -- certain kinds of people have ALWAYS dealt with their children this way. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with 1950's standards of child-rearing.

I was born in 1949. I was spanked once that I remember, around age 4 or 5 -- and as it happened, I was actually purposely taking the blame for something my younger sister had done (I was big on protecting her and had a martyrdom complex to boot -- raised Catholic).

I wasn't afraid of my parents, I generally behaved myself because I loved them and wanted to please them. I also knew without doubt that they loved me.

Raising children through fear, rather than through love and mutual respect has little to do with any particular historical period -- it's merely the difference between those segments of humanity who are caught up in authoritarianism and heirarchy, and those who have expanded their human consciousness beyond that sort of primitive state.

sw

Remember that the kids of the 50s, became the teens of the 60s. You don't magically go from nice "Father Knows Best" kids to wild, out of control hippies. In truth, both images are overblown. The 50s weren't that sanitized and most of us with long hair and Beatles music on transistors were pretty good kids.

Stereotypes tend to be taken as reality. I think that kids were more likely to think they were suppose to do as they were told. But we of course did ask "why" and good parents - like mine - gave answers. I'm from a large family - but I assure you neither of my parents would think of slapping a kid in the face.

mostly agree in terms of images over blown..

but getting slapped in the face (and worse) was a daily occurance in my household. though, i knew then as i know now, my experience was not the status quo.

I realize I was pretty lucky with the family I was born into. My family was lower middle class or middle class when I was growing up.

... personally, my parents were pretty strict, but it eased up somewhat by the time I was driving. I was basically a good kid, although I did pick up a few vices pretty soon after I moved out of the house.

I got spanked with a belt a few times, and to be honest I think people who insist that any kind of physical punishment is "damaging" are basically nutcakes. I was a very sensitive kid, those spankings don't even register on the ricter scale of things I endured as a child, and I never once questioned my parent's love over them.

My own kids, thanks to their more liberal upbringing, have no problem saying whatever they want and only once in a while do I react to it. They get away with stuff I'd have never even tried, but overall they are good kids, do well in school and don't get in a lot of trouble, so I'm fairly lenient with them.

Parenting is not an easy job no matter what the decade.

My dad was good-hearted, very smart and strict. So I was very protected and sheltered. If my brothers and/or I misbehaved, my Mom would say, "Wait till your father gets home." Then we'd get a few half-hearted smacks on the bottom. This was like in the early gradeschool years. Nobody ever got smacked in the face. If I got home late from a date, I was grounded for a week or two. All that protection resulted in severe culture shock when he died when I was 15, and my Mom was totally lost and unprepared to cope with widowhood or single parenthood. She went to pieces, I got married far too young, looking for a substitute father figure; she remarried out of panic and had a miserable 2nd marriage.
The major missing element back then was the lack of verbal or physical expression of love between family members. Harder on my brothers than me. Because the culture was that men never cried, or hugged or kissed anyone except their girl friends. We knew my Dad was dying for months beforehand, but the doctor told us not to talk about it. We never told him we loved him before he died, because people just didn't SAY things like that.

It's difficult to fairly compare parent-child relationships between the two eras, because the world has so drastically changed. Those of us who grew up then have not been able to rely on our early experiences with our parents as role models. Our parents went through the Great Depression and World War II. We went through the complacent 50's, Vietnam 60's, the psychedelic 70's, etc.

I do think that neoconservatives and religious extremists would love to go back to the 50's because they panic when confronted with the responsibility and freedom to make their own life style choices. They would prefer some ultimate authority figure to control their lives.

respectful...my parents were pretty strict and I did disobey them, but there was no way I'd talk back to them or my teachers at school. I could not believe the behavior of some school kids when my own children were little. In the 50's we sat down...and shut up!

My parents did not spank. Well, a mis-behaving toddler in our house got a quick swat on the behind if the "no" didn't take. Mom was the disciplinarian, and she preferred stand in the corner, go to your room and other forms of what we now call timeouts.

She also had (who am I kidding? she still has) what we kids still call "the look". If we were in public, which included anytime when anyone outside the immediate family was present, and we misbehaved, she gave us the look. You knew you were in deep trouble when you got home. That trouble involved a stern talking-to, and loss of privileges like television, dessert or books. In our family, not being allowed to read was painful!

One thing others have mentioned was also true in my family and in my neighborhood. If you got in trouble at school, you were punished a second time when you got home. No one ever questioned that the teacher might be wrong. And from the viewpoint of 40-odd years later, those teachers were right.

A few years ago one of my female college students (white) more or less out of a clear blue sky said "I wish I were living in the 50s; everything was so clear then. You knew exactly how to act (understood was: you knew how to act if you were a woman, if you were a man)."

An older black woman said more or less "Yes, it was great....if you were white, and if you liked to do what you were expected to do (ie, be a wife and mother and get an education 'so you could support yourself if your husband died' if you were a woman, be the breadwinner and head of the household if you were a man)."

After thinking about her comment for a while, I began to have a bit more sympathy for the white young woman. She had many choices, many options, and was subject to many pressures from her parents and her (conservative---it was a conservative christian college) church and her probable boy-friend. She had to make her own decisions and then live with them; she couldn't just fall into a pre-ordained pattern and blame it if she were unhappy.

My parents never gave me a "backhand across the face", although I did get a few spankings. Even as a child, I had a mind of my own, and sometimes when my parents said no to something I wanted to do, I'd sneak around and do it anyway.

standards .. only mine was harsher the abuse was more serious than others.. however... that was pretty within the range of standard practice in poor and working class families.

upper class families were more educated, and more sensible in most respects. of course, kids had what they wanted and didn't live under stressful conditions that many working class families did.

then came the sixties, when the Anti-War movement taught us to question authority, and then developed the anarchistic/anti-establishment attitude which is almost an anachronism at this point.

It was an age of enlightenment to a degree, but too many became enslaved in the very system they had rejected, due to a number of different reasons, but mostly because the capitalist system we're under sucked us in and we become more and more powerless.

People who would like to believe that life in the fifties was reflected in "Leave it to Beaver" is frankly full of it, when it came to working class families. Things were better in some respects in terms of liberty, but not for children in terms of freedom of abuse and exploitation.

Abuse and enslavement of children has been an unspoken crime of humanity through ages..

First, I think there were just as many rebels then as now - think Jack Kerouac and the Beat generation - kids are kids after all.

On the other hand, when I was younger (and I too tried to get away with whatever i could), I recall "authority" being doled out in a more benevolent or thoughtful fashion. As an example, I grew up in a small town, and when we committed youthful indiscretions the consequences were often such that you a lesson was delivered, but usually without lasting damage to your person or permanent record. I recall there were a couple of mentally disabled adult brothers that were always walking around town and were often in the bars. A bartender acquaintance mentioned to me that every bar in town had standing instructions to call their parents to come get them if they got too rowdy - I was impressed that the town would undertake to look after this family in that way.

As another example, when I or my siblings were caught drinking or engaged in other misbehavior the cops simply called our parents to come get us - no arrest or court appearances as long as the offenses were minor. My dad told me a similar story of his upbringing in a small town in the 20's. The constable came over and rousted him out of bed the day after Halloween and told him he was to come with him to help upright outhouses and repair other vandalism from the night before. My dad protested that has had not been out the night before. The constable simply replied, that may be, but I'm sure you were out last year or the year before - and off they went. Today (and since the late 60's), it seems that clashes between citizens and authority is often much more violent, and too often the response seems to me to be excessive.

As to my parents, I would not consider them authoritarian - I think my wife and I are far more strict with our kids than my parents were with me and my sisters - in part because the consequences of mistake or misbehavior can be so much harsher today. And in general, I think my kids are much better behaved that I ever was.

Being "spanked" by switches, razor straps, etc. was perfectly normal, especially if a child disrespected their elders. Everyone loved being "respectable". I had a lot of personal experience in getting "spanked" because I had a nasty habit of questioning my elders, but not nearly as much as my older brother who loved breaking every rule they threw at him.

Simpler? Oh my yes. The air was cleaner, of course and still smelled sweet. The sun shone brighter, due to far less pollution. There were flowers and birds you don't see anymore, thanks to climate change. At one of the stores where I lived, the owner would put a pad of paper and a pencil on the counter if he had to leave, but he wouldn't have dreamt of closing the store. If you came in while he was gone, you would just write down what you took, the price, sign your name, and put the money in the open coffee can. He ran that store his whole life using the honor system, and it worked. Can you imagine what would happen today if you tried that?

TV wasn't all that back then, so summer evenings were usually spent outside on the porch, engaging in...conversation. Usually, a hand-crank ice cream machine would appear, and we'd all take turns, turning and turning and turning that old handle because the homemade ice cream was worth every bite. All in all, life was simpler, slower and the ugliness was kept HIDDEN. Acknowledging the ugliness in life was verbotten.

And then there were poodle skirts, can-cans, and saddle oxfords, too. And of course, rock-n-roll, when the parents weren't watching, not to mention - Dad's scotch and mom's cigarettes. ;-)

Those days we (brothers and sister) were swatted with tree switches..OUCH! Damn that hurt. We were hit on the ass with a belt and we were spanked by hand. I FEARED my dad until I was a married adult. We NEVER talked back! If my parents said no....END OF SUBJECT. We either accepted it or we would be whacked. NO DISCUSSION ever ensued with them. It was their way or the highway. My dad, in his old age, was completely different. Mellow, easy going and very sweet to his grandkids, but DAMN was he a grouch when I was little.:scared:

I never raised my son that way. I think my parents were shocked the first time my son and I actually "discussed" why he couldn't do something. He'd say or do something that THEY thought was inappropriate and look at me like "well? aren't you going to punish him?" Nope. I'm not. ;)
I loved doing that in front of them....just to let them know there were other choices.

Times were VERY different then. No one was ever questioned about how they raised their kids or whether their "punishments" were actually abuse. It wasn't until I was older, in my teens, that I started going behind their backs when they said no OR, if I knew they would say no, I just wouldn't ask and just do it. I was a teenager during the 70s.:hippie::smoke:

I would never want to go back there. We weren't "abused", but we sure as hell had our fair share of switch welts and belt welts on our BARE behinds.:( I would NEVER do those things to my son.

a teenager in the 60's and early 70's and NO I didn't just accept anything my parents said. My dad was a very hard disciplinarian and I feared him but I still did a lot of things he didn't like and got in trouble a lot. I was way too hardheaded and independent to just take no for an answer. BUT I will say we weren't spoiled then like kids are now in the material sense.

People often parent the way they were parented. When I was small and did something that was "wrong" because it put me in danger (think: light sockets) I would get a spanking. When my mouth got the better of me I got a little soap... The rest was grounding +/or being deprived of a privilege or two.

Followed same basic parameters with my boys.

Extremes remain extreme.. the range between severe and laissez faire gets different names now, that's all

inside the basement door.
Now 56, I hate any and all attempts to tell me what to do. OTOH, I am a totally law-abiding sort, and have great respect for the police and the military.
BUT DON'T SPY ON ME.

I have no kids. Heh.

there like all kids do, but was a "good" girl for the most part and not hard for parents at all. the belt didn't work for my brothers though. works for some not others. i think life was a lot easier for all in the past. one of my concerns for children today is they CANT get away with shit, (no kid is perfect) and it will be a hard ass punishment, not a sit down and discussion like the old days and give the kid a break. everyone is so fearful of and for our kids today that we catch them at all things. i dont think that is healthy good or right and wont behoove our children and bold well for their future. i purposely turn my head on some of their errors and will as they grow older, just so they dont have to walk a perfect line. i am not that afraid

now raising kids today. it is much harder and more time consuming not having a fear based punishment like parents in the past. today children, we have to convince them it is their best interest to do right, cause repercussions aren't really there. not fear anyway. it takes a strong bond. and that takes time, listening, talking, and being a huge part of the kids life so they will bring you into their life to talk to you about these things. it has to be done on an equal respect, respect for them, and they having respect for me. that means honesty and consistency. not perfection.

but i wouldn't have it any other way

i also dont judge, condemn, or harass the parent that feels corporal punishment is a valid parenting tool either.

I derive that opinion from what it did to me psychologically. Along with other types of abuse, it really fucked me up.

wanted me to tell you all that she appreciated your responses. Her reaction was that she thought a number of people agreed with her that kids today are not as respectful as past generations. That kids these days are spoiled and over indulged. She thinks it is basically our fault that they are that way because we have tolerated it. She thinks that a kids have the right to question authority where their government is concerned but that they don't have the right to question the authority of their parents, in most cases. She is not advocating "beating your child" by any means, but would be in favor of a stricter set of rules for kids in society today.

She said she thinks it is our fault because even though things are more expensive and both parents have to work (or one has to work two jobs) we still as parents discharge our responsibility too easily, looking for the easy way out when the hard jobs of parenthood face us. It has been her experience that parents are too busy doing "me" things and it's become too easy to allow the "malls" to be our babysitters, even though they aren't going to buy anything and are really more of a bother to the businesses located there. "Either let little Johnny go to the mall and hang out or put them in activities that you don't get involved in, don't show up to, or allow others to pick up that slack for them." She gave the example of when her son was playing soccer and one of his friends' parents couldn't be bothered to take their son to the games or the practices (she would pick him up and take him) or even show up to watch the games because they had "other things to do".

Thank you all for adding to our stimulating conversation. I am sure there will be many more like it to come.

the world we grew up in rather than the people in it.

For instance, the group of kids I hang out with, every single kid lived at home with his mom and dad. Now I'm sure that was unusual, but the statistics are that it was dramatically more likely back then than it is today. Of the seven kids I hung out with on my block, not a single kid even lived with a step-mom or dad. In every case it was a natural mom and dad. Boy is that different today.

Another difference was the freedoms we had. I grew up in New York City and in the summers by 10 am we were all together on our bikes and taking off for somewhere. There were no cellphones, and mom didn't know where we were, but no one seemed to worry about it. We had lunch at whoever's house we turned up at, and got home for dinner. None of us were involved with sex or drugs. We tried booze but it wasn't a big deal. We played ball, and hide and seek and jailbreak, etc.

We had one tv and there were only a few channels. Everyone knew every show on tv, and there wasn't any R rated movies or the like. The family watched tv together.

There also wasn't an internet. I fear that ids today by age 12 have seen everything they'd want to see, and lots more, and I don't think that's a good thing.

My parents weren't disciplinarians. I think I got some spankings when I was 6-8 but I barely remember them or why I got them.

Overall, I think it was a much better time to raise kids than today. We shared much more back then, were tusted more, had more freedom, and had a whole lot more time.

I was a sensitive kid and didn't need spankings, let alone beatings. Because of the bizarre combination of over-protectiveness, casual use of the belt and exposure to fundy dogma concerning authority, I never quite grew up. In some ways, I'm still stuck at age 14.

I don't want to go into more detail, but the whole thing has caused me a lot of pain.

and were expected to respect their elders - right or wrong.

This led to the revolution of the 60s - civil rights, women's rights, peace activists.. I think that such a discipline caused the children, once they grew up, to develop their own independent thinking and not to accept what any leader or teacher saying just because of that person's position.

Several months ago there was a program on "60 minutes" I think, where it described today's young people - teens and college kids - as more tolerant of others' lifestyle and beliefs and race, but also as followers, not as leaders.

I agree with your friends about kids threatening to call the authorities. I have heard stories about this and I have heard stories about over zealots social workers who took kids away from parents and even threw them to jail for false accusations, especially by one spouse.

if you didn't behave. I mean they could send the truant officer after you if you skipped school. If you were incorrigible your parents could request that you be sent to juvenile hall for a weekend or even a week even though you had committed no crime to scare you. A doctor couldn't examine you without your mother or another responsible adult being present. You had no say in the treatment.

Otherwise, there was a lot of physical punishment in some houses, but most kids still did debate answers, sass their parents back and when they got big enough, hit them back if physical discipline was involved. I witnessed many a neighborhood fist fight between father and son. Those incidents usually stopped any physical punishment afterwards. Many parents though were adopting a no spanking or physical punishment policy. It was new but catching on.

My parents were the type who barked orders and who expected obedience. Of course they were Republicans. I pretty much did what I wanted to though because I made sure I wasn't caught. Yet, my best friend's parents actually talked to her and her siblings explaining things to them and encouraging them to contribute their thoughts on how they wanted situations involving them to be handled. Their house was run like a democracy.

but they also made sure to teach us to think for ourselves.
Didn't take with my stepsister though... she's a religious Bush voter. The rest of us turned out okay though.

I can't begin to describe it. I got hit with all kinds of things in all kinds of places but that just made me angry. The tag-team third degree, though, was really, really bad.

Part of it was due to the times. We were punished for things that children would never be punished for today. But part of it was due to the way my parents were raised. They had very tough childhoods, and accepted childraising practices didn't really change much from their day until the 70s.

Also, my parents had too many children too quickly, and the stress it put on them got passed along to us. Families are generally smaller these days and birth control helps space the births better. I would not want to raise a family in an age when family size was so hard to control.

I don't regret the era in which I was raised or the parents who raised me, but it would have helped us all if society had been more open, if my folks had had access to information that would have helped them gain better understanding about themselves and about us, and if they hadn't felt it was their religious duty to have a larger family than they were equipped to handle.