72 Virgins in Paradise? Hell, how about we do a little negotiating here?

So here's some horny young guy who's told, "All you have to do is blow yourself up and you've hit the 72 virgin jackpot."

The worst part of this is, we haven't even tried to make a counter offer. "Hey, kid, come here. How about you don't blow up yourself or anyone else? We'll give you six virgins."

Isn't negotiating one of the major tools of capitalism? "Listen, kid, you've been promised 72 virgins, but what if it doesn't happen? What if there's a shortage? Who you gonna' complain to? Look over there. See those six virgins? You swear not to blow yourself up and they're all yours. How about it?" The kid may insist on 10 or 12, but what the hell, it's still a bargain.

Yeah, I know. How do we go about supplying the virgins? Well, for starters, we could kick off a recruitment drive in Kansas. Hell, they don't really even have to be virgins. How is some horny, martyr wanna-be gonna' know?

What do you think? It would help fight evil doers.

Has a certain, twisted, sick logic to it.....

Which means, of course, I'm all for it! :rofl:

...to go off and be with the big guy in the sky if they die fighting for Homeland?

You think we may need to work on that one too?

Sky Pilot. How high will you fly?

Don

Oh, yeah, I forgot about female Christian soldiers. Brad Pitt look-alikes might do it.

I will promise NOT to blow myself up for Nicole Kidman. Make it Heidi Klum and I'll throw in a free "won't chant 'death to America' or burn the flag, either" clause.

...on using the words "Nicole Kidman", "Heidi Klum", and "blow" in the same post.

I don't get the whole 72 virgins thing.
After a a week or two (ok maybe a month or two for us old guys) they're not virgins any more, they're 72 whining girlfriends.
How is that heaven?

Can I take what's behind door number 2?

they? Hell, they're lucky _Bush has taken the time to murder them in large numbers.

Oh, yeah. It's only right to pass around these stories and ridicule them. God forbid you should show any respect for anyone you don't know a thing about.

On edit: I have no intention of getting into a flame war over a light, non-serious posting. But if you're all worked up, fire away. I, for one, won't reply. Over and out.

While the US loves demonizing Islam over this I have yet to come across a single Muslim who believes it.

Some scholars believe the context makes it clear that it is food and drink that is being offered, others believe the 'houris' refers to friends and
jinns who will meet us in the after life.

At any rate I think you would find the
motive behind the action has nothing at all to do
with 72 virgins.

If I blow myself up, do I get 72 virgin young men?

Why would I want 72 virgin young men? The idea makes me tired.

it goes without saying ...

I went out as Osama bin Forgotten. Whenever I spied a hot chick, I would run up to her and say,

"Look, I promised a lot of guys a lot of virgins, and I'm kinda having a hard time delivering. I was wondering if you'd be willing to take one for the team. If you're a virgin, great. If not, well, it's a matter of quanitity over quality. These guys, they ain't so picky. So, whaddya say? We got a deal?"


Best. Halloween. Ever.

complete with batteries....

So I won't say anything. :-)