George slowly undressed, grinned at Laura and said..... (Part 1)

G: My god...what a day!
L: Tough one?
G: Yup. Some asshole got hold of a mike...wanted me to be
"graceful enough to be ashamed"...
L: (Sitting up on the side of the bed) Who said that?
G: Just some ass...I'm havin' turdblossom raked...he's slipping
L: (reaching for a bottle of gin) Karl?
G: That bastard is sposed to have that kinda shit under control,
...think its easy trying to keep an idiot grin on my face while
some smuck starts whining about his privacy rights?
(He hangs up his tie and throws his presidential seal embossed boots
at a dresser)
Gawddammit! The whole damn thing is a blasted mess. Did you see what
Condi said in London? Thousands of mistakes!!!! Jeeeesus!

L: I told you to stay away from her. (takes a little nip)
G: I needed that like a nother hole in my head...WHERES MY ....hey,
what are you drinking?
L: (rolling back on the bed) Nothing dear.
G: BULLSHIT!!!
L: Don't be vulgar.
G: I am the goll dern president, Laura, I'll be vulgar if I want to.
L: Maybe you should take a break..we could call your folks and go to
the ranch.
G: The ranch? So that Sheehan woman can come down and get on tv some more? Bright idea.
(He's hunting in a dresser drawer)
Where is those 'bird' pajamas?
L: What?
G: The bird pajamas..you know the ones with the little birds on them
they're kind of blueish..
L: They're out.
G: Out? Who threw them out?
L: Your mother came by last week and when she saw them she decided to
throw them out. Don't ask me why..she's YOUR mother.
G: Let me get this straight..my mother was here, in our bedroom, in the
gol derned Whitehouse, looking at my PAJAMAS?
L: I didn't like it either. She said she was looking for something from
when SHE was here.
G: What? Looking for what?

-to be continued-

probably 99% true

never mind .. I got it. :D

a bit slow here

:popcorn: And please, no beastiality!

.... to sell on eBay.

Katrina victims. :eyes:

Only I almost coudn't bring myself to read further than "George slowly undressed"...

:puke:

I'm glad my curiosity got the better of me.

Nicely done!

you have them bumpin' ugly's in Part 3...or just gonna smack it down on us, sudden like, to see how many of us hurl.


:rofl:

when is part 2?

Only kidding! :hi: For your next column?:rofl:

That was great. :rofl:

be Condi not Laura he's talking to.

I have to wait till this is faxed to me by my secret 'insider' at
the WH.

L: Well, at first she denied she was looking for anything
G: (Pulling on a pair of boxer's with a presidential seal embossed
on the 'vent')
Ok..she denied it, so what makes you think?
L: Well Georgie, she was standing there, the dresser drawer open,
all your undies pulled out and she was holding the birdie pj's
behind her back.
G: Gawd!
L: Yes. It turns out she was actually looking for an envelope with
a photograph inside. She acted very odd about it.
G: It's Poppy!
L: (gets up and crosses to the bathroom) She wouldn't say what the
photo was of...
G: God only knows. (beat) does that woman realize that their 'favorite'
son Billy was living here for EIGHT frickin' years?
L: (muffled from the bathroom...she opens the med cabinet) Lower your
voice...I'm right here.
G: Now what are you doing?
L: (removes a bottle of lorazepam..pops it) Taking an aspirin..you know
how I get headaches after a visit from your mother.
G: I bet that bitch has them.
L: Your mother did NOT find what she was looking for.
G: Not my MOTHER!...Hilree. She tore this place upside down looking for
her damn whitewater records remember?
L: How could I forget..how they "appeared" in a study or something.
G: (Digging around in dresser drawers) I know mother...she's thinking
more about when we are out of here and its bothering her. She wants
to protect Jeb probably. (slams the drawer shut)
screw this!
(he goes to the telephone lifts the receiver)
Yeah..this here's the president. Put me through to extension A11
at NSA...yes NOW!
L: (smiling as she comes out of the bathroom and looking a little high)
George...you are too ....tense!

G: Listen...you got that scan running on PotusArky? P-O-T-U-S-R-K?
Good, I wanchoo to cross triangulate that thing...here's the words...
"Dresser" "Photo" "Bush" "envelope" "deepshit"...yeah.. that's right.
Put the results in a bag and courier over here tomorrow. Got it?
and...while yer at it, same thing on N-Y-S-B-I-T...Nisbit..yeah..
that's for New York BITCH..(chuckles)

What's it about? Gawddammit its natn'l security that's all YOU
need to know!

L: (coming over and rubbing his neck) Too too tense.

G: Alright. Tomorrow and keep Crashcart out of the loop on this one.
(hangs up)

you do have a way with words

What happens next??!

you're going to get a following :)

(Laura continues rubbing George's neck)

L: Rummy called
G: That little bastard...what did he want?
L: I guess he's got some more 'little brown people' in a cage
and wants you to call him about it.
G: He wants me to call?
L: Oh, you know, he DOESN'T want you to call, ...its a 'don't call me,
call me, call'...don't call.
G: Did he say who they were?
L: George, they were BROWN people...
G: Yeah.. where's my Bible?
L: Your Bible..its right there under your pretzel jar....Uh..Georgie...
maybe you should put on your 'flight suit' and we could play 'top gun'
G: (ignores her..reaches for his Bible)
Did you hear about this new Judas 'gospel'?
L: Judas gospel?
G: Yeup..a dol gerned JUDAS gospel...you would think as prezdent of United States, I would NOT get caught by surprise that theres a whole new
supposed GOSPEL!!!
L: George, there's no such thing as a new gospel.
G: That's right..its supposed to be 1700 years old why wasn't I INFORMED?
I have to see it on Fox news like every other swinging stick. They said it was authentic as hell. Says Judas was in cahoots..Jesus ASKED him
to turn 'em into the Roman guards.
L: Just like Scooter!
G: I tell you there is something weird going on...and I can't figure it
out...Falwell's no help. (starts looking through the Bible)
L: (turning away) Georgie...
G: Did Pat Robertson call?
L: Georgie Porgie...
G: Laura..(he looks up) But I want to read some scripchure!
L: (deflated) Oh George. How long has it been?
G: I just don't see how you can mix scripchure with ...you know...marital
relational conjucational activities..
L: (to the liquor cabinet) No...I suppose you don't.
G: (back to his book) Your a dol gerned Librarian...I just want to
read for spirtual guidance. It's not every day we get a new whole
gospel! ....I'm afraid it might be a threat to natn'l security.
Am I supposed to have a 'position' on it? It could be a sign of
the end times.
L: I'm having a drink.
G: Don't have too much, sugar.
L: O, course not.

(silence as George tries to ponder Revelation)

G: I have a new idea...
(beat)

L: (takes a deep drink) Lovely cowboy...just lovely...

-to be continued--

:)

it is good

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

more more! Encore!!

when is part 3 coming out? :-)

up for the evening but I will try and post tomorrow. :smoke:

That's what you said about part 3! gimme more... damnit! :)

K & R

:P

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:rofl:

HELL.......

Please.....

even though my horoscope says I was sposed to be crate-ive

I got your fortune cookie here yesterday at the Manadarin Palace Restaurant, Beaverton, OR.

in my future too. Glad you like it.

Shoot, I think you should submit it as an article for the front page/lobby/whatever they're calling it now.

check it out...

'bird' pajamas, ROFL! I can just envision the Smirk in them!

:D

More! More!

:rofl:

Can't mix scripture with ya know...:rofl:

LOVE THIS...MORE MORE MORE

:applause:

I hope it wasnt deleted it was good reading lol

used an offending word. Fortunately, by the miracles of
technology, I was able to print it before it was completely
erased...so, maybe I can edit it and repost it in acceptable
language.

that was disheartening.

Scene Two

(the next morning, the bed is rumpled. Laura is sitting in her robe
at a dressing vanity, the door to the bathroom is open. George is
on the pot.)

G: Goll dern it...we're out of tp in here!
L: (humming to herself) ...what's that George?
G: I said there's no toilet paper! Can you help a feller out?
L: Sure...

(she walks to a closet and ruffles around)... George...
what kind do you want? Bill of Rights, Declaration or the Gold
perfumed Constitution?

G: Bill O' Rights!
(She takes out a roll with the Bill of Rights printed on it
..as she carries it to the bathroom, she tears off a few sheets
to blow her nose.)

L: Here you go. (tosses it into the bathroom)
I've got a luncheon today with Lynn C.
G: Ask her when that daughter of hers is gonna get married. Heh heh.
L: That woman is a horror show...no wonder her daughter is ...that way.

(the toilet flushes. George emerges wearing a dress shirt, boxers
-with the presidential seal on the vent- and knee high silk stockings)
G: Ask her if she knows what Crashcart plans to do with his li'l buddy
Scooter. That sum bitch is gettin' to be a pain.
L: (at her closet choosing today's ghastly ensemble)
I read her 'novel' last month. Horrid! And did you read Scooter's?
G: (putting on his watch with a presidential seal face) are you joking?
L: It has bears in it?
G: um hmm
L: Its just plain insane.
G: (distracted) What hmm?
L: It's insane. Did you know he has a scene where a child is sexually
molested by a bear?
G: a bare what?
L: A bear! (growls and makes pawing motions)..as in Grizzly.
G: (stunned) Scooter Libby, the vice president of the USA's right hand
man wrote a story with a kid getting it done to 'em by a frickin' bear?
L: That's right.
G: GEEZUS!

(he turns to sit and pull on his pants)

How am I sposed to run a goll dern greatest nation on earth with
nut jobs like that on the payroll. ... A bear?
L: A bear.
(a moment of silence)

Maybe you should talk to your father.
G: Hah! That *****!(word deleted to comport with DU rules for posting..a
word that means 'cat' or slang-vulgar for a female's genitalia)

Well, at least I kicked Sad-damn's ass. ...they can't take that away
from me.

L: Yes, and look where its got you. (she steps out and turns around
modeling her hideous pant suit) Does this make my bottom look fat?
G: (not looking up) No..look great.
L: You didn't even look.
G: Gosh darn it Laura..if I say you look good YOU LOOK GOOD!
L: Right.
G: That bastard's a made to order bad guy. Heh heh. Hell he even looks
like the bad guy!
L: Well, he's still alive and ripping YOU everytime he opens his mouth
in that trial you so graciously provided him.smart guy.
G: That's what I'm talking about. Those MORONS that captured him.
that's my problem..idiots on every level. They thought we were SERIOUS
when we said 'take alive' if possible.
L: Yes, well the problem is, Georgie, that sometimes when you say 'is'
you MEAN "is". And other times, you mean "ain't"...right? Your
boy Billy had that right anyway.
G: (stops in the middle of putting on tie) Why do you compare EVERYTHING
I do to the arkansaw playboy? Huh?
L: (laughs) Not every thing Georgie..not everything. (turns with grin on
her face)
G: What's that sposed to mean?

(There is a knock on the door)

L: Nothing Georgie...(she goes to the door and opens it an inch or so
and then it is suddenly shoved aside by Karen Hughes)
Karen...it's a bit early isn't it?

K: (pushing thru and ignoring Laura)
You need to get to your office!
L: Good morning to you too.
K: Karl just got another subpoena for a grand jury, this one is under
seal. It came with a document subpoena too!
G: Well excuse me Karen...I was just gettin ready to stuff my balls in
my pants. (he tugs self while standing and tucking shirt in pants)
L: Gross!
G: you look a little scared Karen..maybe you should head back to Austin
and take care of your kiddos
K: I think you need to look at what they're targeting sir.
G: Think so? Ya know what I wiped my butt with this morning Karen?
(beat)
L: It wasn't a subpoeana.

to be continued

(however) Part five will be delayed because i had to retype this
dad blasted thing)-msatty99

I cant wait for chapter 5 LOL

~~Celtic

i am having some fun writing it.

Maybe later this week I can get five done

I was 'set back' when I got deleted for my bad word.

I feel like I'm in the Whitehouse residence...dayammmm

getting peoples reactions.

:smoke:

I posted this on other thread. Do you not know how to copy and paste? You didn't need to retype the whole thing.

Move the pointer to the beginning of what you want to copy. Drag the mouse across the type as it turns blue. This selects what you want to copy.

When you have finished selecting, click on edit then click on copy. Open the thread here. click on edit on the browser, then click on paste.

I'm not good at explaining things. Maybe someone can do it better?

I am not techno savvy. I know how to type and that's about it. I learned in 1975.
I will try to do better.

1)highlight the text by holding the right button down and dragging the cursor over the text...

then,

2)click on the RIGHT mouse button, select "copy" (this puts the highlighted text onto an invisible "clipboard")

go to where you want to copy the text to, then

3)click the RIGHT button again and select "paste", and the text you had highlighted will magically appear (from the invisible clipboard), just as it was on your first page.

1)highlight the text by holding the right button down and dragging the cursor over the text...

then,

2)click on the RIGHT mouse button, select "copy" (this puts the highlighted text onto an invisible "clipboard")

go to where you want to copy the text to, then

3)click the RIGHT button again and select "paste", and the text you had highlighted will magically appear (from the invisible clipboard), just as it was on your first page.

I put it all together in the du lounge too.

getting peoples reactions.

I will try to post all in a new post in "the lounge"

more. Thanks! ;)

I have a busy schedule and have to find some time...(I have a
three year old and a wife)

but, for your reading pleasure and ease I posted the whole mess
in the lounge under "George and LauraL The Movie"

cut you some slack (being facetious). But you writing is great and I didn't want to miss anything, not a single hysterical word. Thanks msatty99!

I can picture the staging in my mind...blocking, costumes, lighting, makeup.. the whole magilla!
(but you'll never cast look alikes as good as the originals I'm picturing)

really really good

Moore, Moore!

Thanks, msatty!

and Laura The Movie.

Makes it easier to read one thru Four.

Maybe somebody can 'link' it from this thread as I haven't
figured that out yet..but, thanks to help from the board
I was able to copy and paste all into one spot.

THANKS ALL!!

Part 4 was great except for the cat. :rofl:
I could almost hear Karen Huge busting through the door and the giant footsteps like on Stephanie Miller show.
Welcome to DU!

I don't lounge much but I went and kicked it up and brought the link over.(cut and paste address from address bar)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

:dem:

I appreciate your help and kind comments..it is fun!

Kick

:dem: