The Gospel according to Polo

spreading the news of Jesus's life from the Earth to the Rest of the Universe.

There are a few of us, who were handpicked at the time of Jesus's last days to leave the Earth and spread the good word of his gospel to the Universe. I report back to you today with good news. In the 2000 years since his death, I have managed, travelling at 1/100th of the speed of light, to cover 200 light years of area around the earth, telling the story of Jesus dying for the sins of everyone along the way.

It has been a harrowing journey. Vegans (not the vegetarian kind), were a bit unsettled at first, having never heard of Jesus, but after so many of them died from the diseases our group brought with us, they figured we had powers beyond their imagination. They forgave us and we forgave them. It was truly magical. By the way, the Vegans refer to themselves as Schnchhaa... weird but true, and more importantly, they now all love Jesus, and are making plans to not go to hell.

There were a few groups near Sirius that had heard of someone like Jesus, and thought maybe we were selling them some sort of Pyramid scheme. Unfortunately, we hold out little hope for their salvation.

Moving at this rate, we hope to have Jesus's story told to as much of the Universe as we can before it tears itself apart via dark energy. Unfortunately Jesus saves, but not at the speed of light. Alas, mysterious ways and all that.

Marco, who was travelling towards the center of the galaxy, was apparantly kidnapped by some folks near Proxima Centauri. Hopefully we'll get word from him soon.

That's it for now. Let it be written

POLO