A few suggestions about Egypt...

It's just about the perfect time of the year for a trip to Egypt, so if any of you are thinking about it, here are a few possibly useful tips.

As some of you know from my rants in the A/A group and elsewhere, I've lived in Alexandria, Egypt for almost 3 years now. I'm an American working here. If you have any specific questions, feel free to PM me and I will try to answer them.

WHEN YOU ARRIVE: have US $15 close at hand to buy your Egyptian visa (assuming you don't already have it). When you walk off the airplane into Cairo Airport, you will see a bunch of little money-changing kiosks. Any of them can sell you the visa.

Make sure you have one $10 bill and one $5. THEY WILL NOT MAKE CHANGE if you give them a $20 bill. They will keep the extra $5 and laugh at you if you demand change.

After you get the visa stamp in your passport, you will clear Customs and walk directly into the baggage-claim area.

GETTING TO YOUR HOTEL: if you have never been to Egypt and are staying at a big hotel, I strongly advise you to arrange a "meet-and-greet" with the hotel. It's worth the extra money. Most of the big hotels run their own buses.

Otherwise you are at the mercy of the infamous Cairo cab drivers. An Egyptian woman in a magazine article recently described these gentlemen as "chain-smoking, smelly, and nosy." If you are female you can expect to be asked if you are married, if you have kids, and if not, why not? Then the cab driver will ask you to marry him. No, I'm not kidding. You can find some interesting stories about these guys on the internet.

Do NOT take a mini-bus, no matter how broke you are. Those are the most dangerous vehicles in Egypt, usually driven by extremely aggressive and totally unlicensed young drivers trying to make their payments on the vehicle. Three or four of these things are involved in impressive and gory wrecks every week in Egypt.

You can try public transport, like the buses, but you should brush up on your Arabic. And you'll get a free steam bath thrown in...

EGYPTIAN MONEY: it comes in Egyptian Pounds (LE) and Piasters. The exchange rate is usually about 5.5 LE to US $1. ATM machines are plentiful for getting Egyptian money and are linked with the major ATM-card networks like Cirrus and Star.

Most Egyptian banks are open Sunday thru Thursday from 8:30 AM to 1:30 PM. They will gladly exchange your currency for theirs, but they WILL NOT exchange it back into your currency when you leave. I have not found a single bank that will exchange Egyptian money for dollars, and I assume that also applies to Euros, Yen, etc.

And spend all your Egyptian money in Egypt. It doesn't seem to be any good anywhere else. Maybe that's why the Egyptian banks won't exchange it.

SEEING THE PYRAMIDS: well, everyone wants to see them. And I have to admit, no amount of photos or videos can possibly prepare you for the sheer size of those things.

This will sound wimpy (again), but I suggest you see the Pyramids by booking one of the many local tourist agencies. A company named See Egypt is very good.

Why? Because foreigners have been getting ripped off at the Pyramids since Herodotus came thru Egypt, and that was in the Fifth Century BCE. The Giza Plateau is just crawling with local opportunists, probably descendants of the guys who ripped off Herodotus.

They know that most foreigners want to be polite and sociable in a foreign country, and they will use your own good manners against you.

Now some of this nonsense can be sort of charming, but trust me, you will get irritated pretty quickly when you realize that you can't enjoy the experience of seeing the Pyramids because these pests just.won't.leave.you.alone.

A good tour company will keep the pests away, but will help if you really want to ride a horse around the Pyramids (that IS fun!), get your picture taken on a camel (you MUST do that), or buy some postcards.

I mentioned See Egypt because they do a really good all-day tour of Saqqara (the Step Pyramid) in the morning, and Giza in the afternoon. With a stop for lunch at a great local eatery.

"DO YOU WANT A PRIVATE TOUR OF THE PYRAMIDS? VERY CHEAP JUST FOR YOU!"--No you don't, because it's illegal. And when you come out of the Pyramid after your private tour, the cousin/brother/friend of your "guide" will be waiting, and he will be wearing the uniform of a Tourist Policeman. And a big smile. And his hand will be out. You can technically be arrested, but most likely it will just cost you some time and a little baksheesh.

"SORRY, THE EGYPTIAN MUSEUM IS CLOSED FOR PRAYER CALL..."--No it isn't, because tourist sites in Egypt do NOT close for prayer calls. (Though in Saudi Arabia, where I've also lived, everything closes for prayer call.)

This outrageous lie is a favorite of the pesky Cairo ripoff artists who flock around the Nile Hilton and other hotels near the Egyptian Museum. Adding to the problem is the fact that many tourists go to the FRONT of the museum, and those gates are always closed. The main entrances are in the back. You know you're in the right place when you see the big tour buses.

The guy who tells you this whopper is setting you up for the next part of his spiel...

"BUT WHILE WE WAIT FOR PRAYER CALL TO END, I CAN SHOW YOU VERY INTERESTING PAPYRUS MUSEUM!"--That's not a museum, it's a store. You will be subjected to a long, time-wasting sales pitch for overpriced and usually horrendous papyrus paintings. If you're wandering around on your own, do not go into ANY of these places. They figure if they keep you in there long enough, you'll buy something just to get away from them. (Well, that worked on me the first day I was in Egypt...)

These comments also apply to any joint with "Perfume" in its name.

If there's any interest, I will try to continue this rambling spiel later.

November or December.

papyrus and perfume - stay away - tourist traps

the Cairo Museum - absolutely a do-not-miss . . . I recommend several short trips rather than a long one. Absolutely too much to see.

a trip down the Nile - well worth it

Khan al Khalili - (however it is spelled) - the market - YES!!!

Stick to bottled water or beer . . .

Great tips. I look back fondly on my trips to Cairo. Wonderful people, history, . . . .

the Cairo Marriott - my favorite years ago

Did they tell you the Movie Trivia associated with that hotel?

Next time you watch Lawrence Of Arabia, pay close attention to the scene where Peter O'Toole is standing on the big staircase, making a speech after he enters Cairo.

That was shot inside the Zamalek Marriott, which was originally a palace. The staircase is still there, in the main lobby.

The other Marriott in Cairo, the J.W. Marriott, is an awesome hotel. A huge place featuring an artificial beach complete with a wave machine. But it's way out on the edge of Heliopolis, so it takes awhile to get downtown. Much closer to the airport, though.

happened to be staying there several times as weddings were going on . . .

the staircase was a great place to watch the occassions.

When did the name change to the Zamalek Marriott. Used to be the Cairo Marriott. I know the area is Zamalek. I used to jog in the private park area just outside the hotel.

Is the Swiss Restaurant still in Zamalek. I used to enjoy eating there.

I also used to stay quite a bit at the Hilton across the river. I do not remember it's name.

It recently had a big face-lift, I think.

Sorry for the delay in responding!

Not sure the name of the Marriott changed. I just always hear it called "the Zamalek Marriott."

I was in Cairo last week. We had to go from one side of the city to the other, and we were trying to do that just as the schools let out in the afternoon. What a nightmare!

Alexandria has bad traffic sometimes, but nothing like Cairo. It will get worse up here as the summer comes, with the million tourists every weekend. Alexandrians have a useful Arabic phrase you hear a lot in summertime. It translates to: May the holiday-makers rot in hell.

I like that area around Zamalek, too. Except for those annoying assholes who want to drag you off to their cousin's shop.

Once I was just trying to enjoy the view from the Nile bridge (near the Hilton). Stand there and think about all the history the river has seen, etc.

One of the infamous Cairo Touts glued himself to my arm and just would not leave me alone.

In Arabic, I told him I was not a tourist and lived in Alexandria. Didn't matter. He just kept smiling idiotically and yammering on with his sales pitch about how I needed a "friend in the marketplaces."

I finally got fed up and told him, not quietly, to leave me the f!ck alone.

Then he got huffy and said I must not like Egyptian people.

I said, "I like the Egyptian people just fine. I just don't like YOU. Go away."

Terrible for an Egyptophile (Egyptophile? sure, why not...) like me to say, but I absolutely hated Cairo...

However, should I be there again, I will stay at the Hotel Flamingo in Zamalek. Really nice little hotel, pretty friendly and all the cab drivers knew it...once we figured out that locals pronounce it "Fal-a-menk-o" They had no idea what "Fla-ming-o" was!

Alexandra we loved! I would go back there right now. Aswan as well. Really any place but Cairo.

Ha! Just had a funny memory. The morning we were checking out, there was a man at the counter doing wake up calls manually. He'd call, say "this is your wake up call" and then call the next person.

I asked him, "are you ever tempted, when they pick up the phone, to just go 'AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!'"

He didn't look up, but shook a little for a second...and on his next few calls I saw him catch a laugh before he said his thing. I think I broke him! LOL!

Winter is a much better time to visit Egypt, especially if you plan to visit the sites in Upper (Southern) Egypt, like the Valley Of The Kings and Abu Simbel. Summer is just blistering hot down there. I have not seen those places yet, but have talked to plenty of people who did.

Just check the Internets and make sure you do NOT come during the month of Ramadan, when Muslims are fasting all day. The time of Ramadan changes every year because it is based on the Muslim lunar calendar. Traffic is even more insane than usual, especially during the evening rush hour. Everyone is in a hurry to get home because they haven't eaten all day.

Folks are hungry, thirsty, short-tempered and grumpy, and it is not unusual to see fist-fights break out right in the middle of a traffic jam.

Many businesses just close up all day during Ramadan, and don't bother opening until after the evening meal.

Coming during the last week of Ramadan is OK. That's Eid al-Fitr, the Festival of Fast-Breaking. The Muslims make up for that month of fasting by stuffing themselves and everybody is jolly again.

As an atheist, I like to walk around here and do my own comparative religion study, noting the similarities between Islam and other religions. Such as--everybody is always looking for a loophole.

Last year, somebody asked for a fatwa (religious ruling) declaring that smoking cigarettes didn't count as breaking the fast during Ramadan. Nice try, but it didn't fly!

My Egypt trip was a bus across the Sinai from Jerusalem, and then back again after a weekend. When leaving the hotel, after my 4 cups of coffee and carrying and drinking a liter of water along the way.....no one told me about the lack of potty stops. It was my first trip abroad. Ohhh. My bladder STILL hurts just thinking about it, and it was many years ago.

That is fascinating. I loved Alexandria, I think but for the weather I could live there.

Your post took me right back there too. My husband and I did Egypt by ourselves for about a month. Doing it alone is hard, but also can be wonderful.

We saw some bad things we would have been sheltered from had we been on a tour, but then there were experiences we would not have had.

If I may share one...

We were there during Ramadan, and our last night in Aswan, before we headed back to Cairo to go home, was the last night of Ramadan.

We went in a store and ended up doing all our Christmas shopping there. To us this amounted to about $200 USD, nothing really, but to the young man who kept the shop it was a LOT of money. He was so excited that when we were done, he closed his shop and brought us to his home, introduced us to his family and gave us tea and Ramadan cookies! Never would have experienced that on a tour.

Thank you for your post, I'm enjoying my little walk down memory lane! :-)

the street noise is incredible. :)

And do use a travel agent in Egypt to make arrangements for your tours.

Yah, I had to learn the hard way. ;) Still had a great time, though.

dg