YouTube's Craziest Baby Preachers: Viral Video Film School

Run time: 03:08 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sI7VE6t8GD0   Posted on YouTube: February 26, 2010 By YouTube Member: Views on YouTube: 0   Posted on DU: February 27, 2010 By DU Member: DeSwiss Views on DU: 2610

 

I nearly chocekd on my own, diapered salvation.

...can appreciate. Especially the last two toddlers who can't actually speak English yet.

- Because we're used to listening to Republicans, so it amounts to almost the same thing.....

What are these parents doing to their children that we have these kids saying such crap. It's a bit nerve wracking. These kids will probably grow up like that and contaminate others and reproduce...ugh. This is how shit like racism doesn't die.

- So simple, even a kid can do it!!!

Seriously though, it's borderline child abuse.

Run time: 03:08 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sI7VE6t8GD0   Posted on YouTube: February 26, 2010 By YouTube Member: Views on YouTube: 0   Posted on DU: February 27, 2010 By DU Member: winyanstaz Views on DU: 2610

 
Where the hell are the adults?
What kind of parent does stuff like this to an innocent child? They have NO shame.

I'm inclined to agree with you that it's child abuse.

You're looking for adults? Aren't most of these fundy nuts scared children hoping that goddaddy is going to save them?

Where the hell are the adults?
What kind of parent does stuff like this to an innocent child? They have NO shame.

Where the hell are the adults?
What kind of parent does stuff like this to an innocent child? They have NO shame.

I think my key was stuck or something...
Now I see it I cant figure out how to erase it either so can only apologize.

:fistbump:

it's a hoot! Blanche's editorial comments in blue

****light piano jazz intro….****

Narrator:
religion--awesome. Problem its super old. You want someone who will put a young spin on things
the web is crawling with preachers who themselves have recently stopped crawling.

+"please open your bahbles"
+unintelligible
+"the holy ghost!"
+"god is …. *unintelligible*…."
+marjoe -- "In the name of jesus!" (looks like a used car salesman on 3 am tav, don't he?)
+arab kid
+toddler..is that an, "I want the EEElllllmo dollllllllll" scream? Or what? Can't understand
+little suit boy -- kindly captioned for your convenience


Narrator:
Today's lesson __ I will help you choose a child preacher. cuz when it comes to your eternal salvation…I wanna make sure you're in the hands of the right person. Whose parents, I'm guessing, are pretty religious.

Let's see who's barely visible over altar #1.
Samuel Boutwell. What's your sermon about, kid-whose-whole-life-is-ahead-of-him?

(captioned)

Narr:
Well, that…thatsss a heavyy one. That wouldn't be scary except in every movie I've seen when a kid tells you you're gonna die…. (whispering)HE's Always Right!
And now, from the gospelly bosom of reverend Terry Durham…

"I may be goin thoo a LOT-TUH!
I may loss all ma MUNNN-eh! huh!
I may loss evah thang Ah HAAHD!"

Narr:
Everything you had? You're 12!! What was it? $7 and some webkinz?

Maybe you call jesus "Hay-SOOSS!" I have just the muchacho!

(captioned)

Narr:
Actually, kid, god didn't make you in your mother's womb….
there was a guy..and uh…umm… (see helpful sign language illustration here)…. She may have shouted Oh! God!, but…. never mind!

And now, a lesson in healing:

"baby babble…
(mom)Hallelujah!
baby babble
(mom)Amen!"

Narr:
Now this healing means jamming your fingers into your brother's eyeball…
God said "heal the blind", not, "make people blind"……just….subtle difference….

Maybe a kid who can barely speak is not your cup of sacramental tea…
Might i suggest a preacher who can't even talk at all....

"Naanaa naaa naaa naa NAHHHH naaa naaa….
blaaablllagga blla..baaa agggDAAhhhh…
(man's voice) "That's RIGHT!!"

Narr:
Yes, right! I'm not sure WHAT is right, but this seems familiar..the hitting of the hand

Still too old?
Fine, I'll see if i have something in a toddler… I DOOO!

"arghhdooargghhh.." Sounds like he's struggling with a rough crap, frankly….

Narr:
uh..just…wowwww….. just the microphone to body size ratio is biblical!
yeah, I could just listen to him all night. Predominantly because they never STOP HIM!

"ahhbllbuuu!! ahhbllbuhhh! ahhbllllbuuuhbuhh!"

Narr:
Love how he hands the mike over, like, "here ya go rev, I got em all warmed up for ya"…
Well, there ya go…Those were the best preachers I could find. You should be in good hands.
Good tiny hands.
I don't wanna see ya following other, EVIL babies with their devil music…

**Loud Devil Music. Thrash metal, I'd say…**

Narr:
Well that's it for Viral Video Film School.
Hallelujah.

****light guitar outro.****

(pointing)...mustaches…
love ya…
send me wall things! THANK KYOO!!
AAA-men

Brett Erlich's (sp?) commentary is hilarious, although seeing these young preachers is really disturbing to me.

Poor kids!

Because parents who are constantly screaming for "smaller government" and "keep your bureaucratic hands off my family" turn around and do this kind of indoctrination when their kids are naive enough. But the two clips of baby talk were pretty funny stuff...like watching Donald Duck cartoons in church!

me thinks.