My dad died

He had been in the ICU- he had a heart attack and when they did the angiogram, they found that he had not only blockages, but stenosis of the aortic valve and a leaking mitral valve. They couldn't get him out of CHF and his kidneys started to shut down. They told us they could do a valulopalsty and try to clear the blockages but that it was very high risk because of his CHF and kidney failure and that he could end up on a vent and on dialysis. They thought he wouldn't be able to be weaned from the vent so he's be unable to talk or eat.

He was 89 and didn't want to live that way. I was with him when he died- it was very traumatic to say the least. Thanks for all of your good wishes when he was in the hospital- I'll probably not be around for awhile- I am sitting shiva-

I'm glad, however, that he lived to a respectable age and appears to have a very loving family. My best to you and yours.

May he rest in peace.

We will keep you, and him, in our prayers. Small comfort, I know, but he's flying free and unencumbered now - and no pain anymore, either. That reminder was comforting to me when each of my parents died after long, arduous, miserable illnesses.

May you and your family find peace and solace.

Peace to you and your family.

I wish you comfort. :hug:

you and your family will be in my thoughts. :hug:

my heartfelt sympathy to you.

:hug:

After the grief you'll find those lovely memories providing lots of comfort.

:hug:

I'm sure he was glad that you were with him when he passed.

May he now be at peace.

:hug:

N/T

Words are inadequate; just know we're thinking of you at this most difficult time. :hug:

You and your family will be in my thoughts...

:hug:

when he passed away under very similar circumstances. You will have a lot of very rough moments over the next months but you will always be grateful that you were with him, I know I was. Be kind to yourself and let your friends and family help you through this.

it is hard to lose a parent.

With time, you can be thankful that you had your Dad around for most of your adult life. I lost mine when I was 24...

and your family and my deepest condolences. :hug:

Take care of each other.

zone of "not reasonably resuscitatable." (MY term, not a medical term.) Even when someone's quite elderly, death is always a shock, especially of a parent.

Hang in there Danmel, a brighter day is around the corner.

:hug:

my dad passed ten years ago and i was not with him - probably my biggest regret in life. i know it meant a lot to him that you were there.

I lost my mother when I was 19. But I lost my grandparents later in life, and it was still just as painful.

All we can do is cherish the ones we love while we have them.

Give yourself lots of time and space. Know what you need and do that. Don't feel guilty about it. And
remember the good times. They're all we really take with us.

I just lost my father in November so I know just what you're going through. Try to think how lucky you were to have had him when you did, and not so much on how unfortunate you are to have lost him. Think of those good times, with a smile and a tear.

Lasher

No matter the age or circumstances, the hurt goes deep. Lost my dad 18 years ago from massive strokes. Still remember it like it was yesterday, but it does get better. Hang on tight it`s kind of a bumpy ride. Take care my friend.

:hug:

My sympathy to you and your family.

your family. I hope sitting shiva brings solace and comfort to you all.

My condolences to you and yours.

my sympathy to you and to your family.

my condolences to you and your family.

:hug:

I will keep you all in my thoughts.

TC

Please accept my sincerest condolences.

to you and your family
God Bless
S
:hug:

It sounds like he made a good run with making it to 89.

My heart goes out to you and yours.

:hug:

:hug:

(There are no words.)

Good Journey to your father's spirit. I think it was wonderful you got to be there with him even if maybe you don't quite yet. Peace to you.

God bless you and your family. :hug:

It might be a small consolation but be glad you were there.

Hearing my dad had suffered a massive stroke and then dying 4 days later while i was on the other side of the country, unable to get home was gut wrenching.

I wish you peace in this time of difficulty.

...it's never easy when a loved one goes, no matter how old they were and how full a life they lived.

I am sorry for your loss. There is nothing to take the pain away from this. My thoughts are with you. Peace and love, kim

:hug:

I know the pain you're dealing with. My Dad died 10 years ago and I still think of him everyday. Hang in there. Losing a parent is one of those things that makes us deal with our own mortality, like it or not. My condolences to you and the rest of you family.

Much peace be with you and your family.

I'm glad you were able to have him as long as you did, Danmel. My dad is 86.

Best to you and your family.

peace be to you and yours

I have been with close relatives when they have died. It is traumatic. Please take care of yourself.

You are in my thoughts.

We will be here

My dad has been gone 7 years now and not a day goes by without me thinking about him.

Peace, always peace.

May happy memories give you the strength to get through the mourning period.

And a prayer for peace for you as well.

n/t.

Come back to us as soon as you are able to chat.

Time will help.

for your loss Danmel :hug: My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.

My dad died jan 23. He fell in the hospital and suffered a subdural hematoma. They transfered him to the big hospital and he was diagnosed with an agressive leukemia that he probably would not survive being treated. He was 76. We let him go and were all there when he went. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
My thoughts are with you. I have a good idea what you are going through..... Hugs, Mojo

Do what you need to do for yourself.

Most of my patients want a peaceful,dignified death,with their family around talking about the "good old days"I've sat with hundreds of people who have died with their loved ones unable to be at the bedside.For those of you who couldn't be there,know that there are plenty of caregivers like me,who treat their patients like their family,with love and gentleness.I hope you heal with positive memories.

:hug:

Ha-Makom yenahem etkhem b'tokh sha ar aveilei Tzion vYerushalayim--may the Omnipresent comfort you among all the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem

It is awful to lose a parent. I am so sorry.

Peace be with you and your family.

The end-of-life decisions are hard, but you made the right one. He "didn't want to live that way" and you respected that. I hope that will give you comfort.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

:hug:

Five years ago I held my Dad's hand as they discontinued life support and he passed away. I know how hard it is. I'm so sorry for your loss.

had yours a long time. I will think of both of you. My father passed in July. Only time will make it bearable. God bless you and your family.

But it sounds like he lived a good long life, and that's all that any of us can hope for. Take care of yourself, and give our regards to the rest of your family.

My father is still in the hospital and still very ill.

I will be thinking of you and your family.:hug:

My folks are about that age too. R's folks have already gone over the Rainbow Bridge.
Treat yourself gently.

You and he made the right decision about letting him go. That won't help with your pain, though.

:hug:

:hug:

It's a painful thing to experience, and I hope you'll heal soon remembering the good times and knowing that we all hope that our parents could reach such a grand ole age, and that we can also be with them at the appointed hour.

Deepest sympathy to you and your family.

:hug:

:hug:

...I'm so sorry for your loss. When I read your earlier post about his illness, I worried for you because my dad died of the same thing in March. He was 87. I had hoped your dad would have a better outcome.

It is traumatic. Be gentle with yourself, and lean on your friends and family...that helps. You are in my prayers.

Yvonne

:cry: I saw your earlier post where you said that your dad was not doing well...peace be with you and your family. :hug: I'll be sending good vibes your way, friend. :pals:

Quality of life matters. It was good that you were with him. You are in my thoughts.

My dad passed over a year ago and I couldn't be with him. I am glad you were with him when he died. Hugs to you.

Bless his heart. Take care of yourself.

I know how hard it is to lose a father, no matter how old you are.

It's so difficult to lose a parent. Please know that you are in my thoughts.

:grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug:

My thoughts are with you. Having lost both my mom and dad, I know how tough these days are. Take comfort in that your dad's wishes not to live that way were granted. I was glad that both my parents went relatively quickly.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/10/06/AR2006100601233.html?nav=rss_health

This was published in my paper about a month after I lost my dad (he was 87)

and it touched me deep into my soul. So much that I cut it out of the paper to save it.

You don't have to read it today, or even tomorrow, but one day when you are ready to
realize how wonderful it was that you were there with him when he passed; and when you are prepared to cry from your heart..
please read it.



:hug:
Jill

My Father would have been 100 yesterday (28th) and has been gone 30 years. I miss him as much today as ever. Like you, I was fortunate enough to have been with my Dad. I told him it was okay to leave...it was the only gift I had to give him then.

Your father will always bless you for having been there. You were the light that lit his path.

So sorry. Your Dad was blessed to have lived that long. I lost my Dad when he was 63. You have my deepest sympathies. :hug:

peace be upon you

one of my best friends (35 years) die a month ago. She had had lung cancer for 5 years and it was such a relief to everybody in the room when she took her last breath. Your Dad wouldn't have wanted to live like that is so true. My sincere condolences to you and your family.

I know losing a parent at any age is a hugely devastating.

My thoughts are with you.

- A Liberal in Texas

Please take care.

I wish you peace and the time to heal. http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1216555">link

to you and your family.
May he rest in peace.

So sorry for you and your family, Danmel.

Peace be with you. :hug:

.

May he rest in, and may you find, peace.

It got easier over time but didn't go away. I still miss him.

My mom died 8 years ago- she had a series of strokes and ended up in a coma for six weeks before she died. It was so awful, I can't even begin to describe it. And worse than watching my smart well read sweet mother linger like that, unable to do anything, was watching my father who was totally devoted to her crying and pleading with her to come back to him. My parents both made their wishes about medical intervention when it really wouldn't help very clear. My mother was not on a vent or anything, she just died, but I know my father would not have wanted us to do that.

This was different- but it was pretty sudden- he had a history of heart disease, but had been pretty stable. Only one week, to the day, that he went into the hospital, we celebrated my son's bar mitzvah.
We have 2 kids, a 16 year old girl (who was also in the room with her Zayde (grandpa) when he died- she is pretty fragile right now too) and my son, who is 13. My brother has no kids so these are my dad's only grandchildren. My dad, for the past three years has been talking endlessly about how he wanted to be at Danny's Bar Mitzvah. He and my son were very close- My dad was also a Holocaust survivor, making it through Auschwitz, Dachau and the Flossenburg Death March. Still he was not a bitter man- always hoped for the best and saw good in people. It is just so weird that he died so soon after Danny's Bar mitzvah- it is almost as if he just willed himself to make it to that occasion- it meant so much to him, as a grandfather, as my father and as a survivor and a Jew (though he was not at all religious) to see his only grandson become a Bar Mitzvah.

I'm so glad he made it to that but I can't believe that right after that kind of happiness, we have this kind of sorrow- it is surreal- from a real high to an incredible low. I'm just so confused and foggy.

Anyway, thanks to all of you for your love and support- and thanks for listening.

Both of my parents are deceased. The best thing I can offer at this time is keep your memories. They are treasure that sustain.

I'm glad you were with him when he died, and I know how very hard it is to deal with this type of thing...having been through it with my own dad.

:grouphug: Sending a big hug your way, my friend.

:kick:

My dad died last month. :cry:

My Dad died of Alzheimer's. It was a long, very sad death. His Spirit trapped in a body without much, then any, cognizance, for years. He had the best of care but never-the-less, it was just so, so, sad to see him in that condition. He had called me and begged me not to let him get incapacitated. I don't know if I let him down or not. What could I do: Legally, ethically, Spiritually?
It's always very hard to lose our parents. We carry that loss till our time comes.
We slowly take the place of our elders. If wisdom comes with that we are blessed.

Kindest Regards.

L.Ozark

I believe that he is resting comfortably and has ascended to a higher consciousness and level of being. His loving energy will surround you forever.

Take care.

You know, that you were with your father when he died was probably very comforting for him. When dying, that's all I wish for - to be with family. I wish you strength to get through this difficult time my friend.

Traumatic, but he undoubtedly found comfort with your being there.

and you find much peace. My sincere sympathy.