I am thinking about becoming a Republican....

We have learned many things about being a Republican. Senator Vitter just reinforced one of my favorites. That one is that you can get away with being a pompous moral hypocrite while committing all kinds of moral failings, because in the end you can always play the God card and be forgiven.

Being a Republican sounds fun. No accountability. You can gamble, cheat on your wife, lie people into wars, and still act like a bastion of morality. See, there are lots of reasons to be a Republican. Plenty of benefits, just like the one mentioned above. I have some for you, and please, add your own.

Here are a few more of my favorites:

A Republican can get away with being called strong on leadership, even if they are weak on leadership. In some cases, if you have the audacity to do so, you can even write a book called: "Leadership."

Being an expert on foreign affairs and national security matters, does not require you to have any experience in the field or to ever be right on anything, for that matter.

Like a frightened baby chipmunk, you fear anything that is different than you, and your base loves you for it.

Serious character flaws, such as racism and sexism, are actually beneficial to your career advancement.

While writing a book, you can say any batshit thing you want, never check to see if your "facts" are correct, and completely lie out of your hate-mongering ass, and it will make you millions of dollars.

No matter how foolish, stupid or treasonous you are, you will always have a cushy, high-paying think tank job waiting for you.

Being dumb, or at least acting dumb, is considered a plus with your voting base.

You do not have to have any sense of irony or shame, whatsoever.

And my favorite, the law should be Draconian but, it does not apply to you or your cronies, and if someone tries to hold you accountable, you can simply say three magic words to get out of the predicament. "Go fuck yourself."

Perhaps you're fantasizing about being "not THEIR kind of Republican."

take your pick. :)

:-)

:)

She is a woman, not a piece of meat. Or something.

I better look and see what you're talking about.

anything is preferable to being a Democrat.

Go figure.

I thought you meant somebody did a similar thread. Yeah, no shit. I was born a Dem, my grandfather was a close personal friend of Senator Mike Mansfield, and JFK and RFK. I don't believe my Dem-ishness will buff out any time soon. Despite what my OP might say. :)

You seem a little frustrated?

:grr:

You look like a mushroom cloud laying, motherf.... :nuke:

Yeah, hang in there, we've been through worse. Just keep doing your thing. :)

Mephistopholean bargain, though.

It didn't take long. Just last night I was volunteering to work for your campaign for the presidency, and now this!

But I guess that's a Republican trait, too - betraying your constituents.

However, I'm going to put my personal anger aside and kick and recommend - because this is a GREAT piece!

He's the real power behind the throne. :)

Thank you very much, glad you liked it. Spur of the moment thing. :)

... so I'll pretend this whole switching parties things never happened.

Besides, I didn't want to have to break it to JeffR in the morning that his sig-line had to be changed yet again ...

it might have made his head explode.

I'm not sure if I would call this "writing" per se'. More like just busting out some thoughts. I don't ever really consider anything other than my literary work to be "writing." But stuff like this can be a lot of fun to whip out. It's therapeutic, you know? :)

It's like they are the policemen who set the rules for everybody else - and we all know that the police will even resort to committing crime if they can get away with it.

They make the rules for all "them liberals", they don't have to actually follow the rules themselves!

If you are still thinking, there's still hope. :rofl:

I was just thinking about going and reading a book and I thought "Shit, I'm still liberal, oh well." :)

There appear to be two Republican emotions:

1. Fear
2. Rage

To go with these, there are two Republican drives:

1. Greed
2. Lust for power

Honestly, I don't hear anything but these four things in anything any of these creeps say. At no time do I sense that Republicans care the slightest bit about America or Americans, except as means to an end (see "Republican drives", above).

as a repug you can literally get away with "murder" and torture and go to church on sunday..and you will be praised to fundie god!!

fly

and absolves any sin... if you're a Republican. :)

Good night and good luck.

"Cruel Summer" - Bananarama
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5n6chxpEINs

That's my president! :patriot: :cry:

I heard Kpete and Babylonsister are going to be mounting a challenge against us. They are being drafted as we speak.

Something about the fact that we're too young and sexy to hold high office, was it?

What has politics come to in this great nation of ours?

now it seems like a liability.

We might have to organize a preemptive hit piece on them. Possible 527 stuff. Maybe start an underground whispering campaign or something. I'm just throwing that out there.

We can say that kpete and Babylonfive are better off and happier in the positions they now hold.

You know, just like the covert anti-Gore folks do.

We can say it over, and over, and over, and over, in thread after thread after thread. And we can pay some of our supporters a few bucks to do it as well.

it just might work.

in the positions they now hold. They don't even want to run, so stop the speculation and obsessing about it. They can accomplish so much more by staying where they are (where are they, anyway?) Do people want to stop their effectiveness in changing the world by electing them? WTF is wrong with people?

Whew!

I'm so glad you showed up to keep Wetzelbill in line - he can't just switch parties in the middle of a presidential campaign, I don't care how happy it would make him. It would upset ME terribly.

He does have some good points, and they're all true, but not in the middle of my, I mean his presidential campaign.

Wetzelbill do what the repukes do and wait until AFTER you're elected, please - MY future depends on it!

But I'm not sure how necessary this tact is. Wetzelbill is as hard working as George Bush, and I'm as popular as Dick Cheney, obviously we're the kind of team the nation and our representatives will strive to keep in office, no matter what we do. But better safe than sorry.

BTW, NanceGreggs is sharing spokesperson duties with you.

Records show that she already cashed her $200,000 check, so there's no backing out now.

Let's all welcome Nance aboard our gloriously expensive rocket-ship to success! :applause:

Go NANCE!

Goodnight, and good luck!

Thanks. We'll cut you a juicy check if we use it.

anyone who gives me a raise deserves to be popular, so I took a poll of all my household pets (there are a lot) and you are up to 90% positive.

I'm happy that Nance has joined the team, and I think it's great that she will do all the spokesperson duties, and leave me to my flirt...my interviewing famous men that I think are attractive. She is so very good at expressing her thoughts that I can't compete, nor would I even want to, since I too am just as hard-working as GW.

Welcome to Nance - this ticket is downright explosive now! Go NANCE! :thumbsup:

:rofl:

In case you hadn't seen it: :D

http://www.thefrown.com/?/cartoons/55/495

And the animation is terrific.

Wetzelbill, go study that and see if you can find ways to crush the competition.

K&R

Thanks!

:hi:

Whenever I see threads like this I look it up again and post it . :hi:

:rofl: Your work is amazing.

It all just for fun and personal catharsis.

I don't think it's good enough to sell for profit (though, I'm unemployed and need money), but I'm happy if it brings others joy... or encourages a reaction. :D

www.swamp-rat.com

I'm looking at it now. Perhaps you could hook up with a marketing person? Have you done any cafepress stuff? I bet mugs and tshirts would be a hit?

Of course, there is that whole thing of having
to look in the mirror each morning.

It's perfect!!!!!!!

Good times.

Sounds like the good life to me! Sin all you want because GAWD and his #1 son will pardon you asap.

:)

should we commission Prince to rewrite the national anthem?

really members of some secret Maoist cell that penetrated the GOP in the 1960s and 1970s.

Guess what, the Commie plot worked! They've destroyed America, and boosted China and Russia, too! ;-)

Snark . . . sort of.

And it follows that if the society is screwed up and morally wrong, then everyone in the society either has to be bad too, by being complicit, or has to be basically on the outside, trying to change it. This fight for our democracy is also a fight to control the society. For people that are looking for "power", hypocrisy is the only way.

The endless supply of pain killers (Something that you would think we Dems need more than the Repugs - but we just can't get our maids to do us the favor folks like Limbaugh pull off!)

I figure all I need is a lobotomy and a trust fund.

be a republic too...but do I really have to stick my head up my ass?

if you ever want to find out what you think.

So that's something to think about while you still can do it in the upright position.

:toast:

means you can lie to Congress about selling illegal arms to nations that are hostile to the US using money obtained by selling illegal drugs from central America and then be called onto "news" shows to confront liberals for hating America and abandoning our troops. When you call your opponent a criminal without facts no one brings up that you yourself are a convicted felon!

You can say whatever you like, and if anyone calls you on it, just start screaming about "liberal media bias".

what happened to Foley is he out? Not a word since.

All the other reasons given revert back to 'The Almighty'.

As long as 'God' has forgiven you, no other reasons need to be given.

Since Ollie North days I have been amazed at the audacity -- and the success -- of republican politicians insisting on "Law and Order," even though they have no hesitation to exempt themselves from any law that they feel is improper (and this was loooooong before the chimp's signing statements) or simply inconvenient. The kid down the street who got popped with a J...send him away for 15 years. Kill half a million people based on lies...bask in the love of your "base."

Tell me something: if you DO hit the lottery, how soon after does the application form to become a Republican arrive in the mail?

guys kill me!

for the support. Don't forget to vote for us in '08!!!! :)

priceless! And dead on!

Bravo on a very well done OP!

Fred Thompson has received a ringing endorsement from the grave in Richard Nixon.

http://rawstory.com/showarticle.php?src=http%3A%2F%2Fnews.yahoo.com%2Fs%2Fap%2F20070707%2Fap_on_el_pr%2Fthompson_watergate

If you become a Republican, you're obviously not a thinker...