Noah: The T-Rex Whisperer

So dinosaurs were on Noah's ark huh. I've been pondering this and I just can't figure out how he managed to get them on there without being.. um.. mistaken for lunch. Noah must have had some magical animal skills to be able to face down a T-Rex, 23 feet high, 40 feet long with 50-100 10" teeth and manage to get two of them on a ship with thousands of other animals for 40 days and nights, without them eating everything in sight. Did T-Rex's menstruate? That would be another issue, if it were 40 days that would mean the female would have had her period once during the flood. Can you imagine the fun of a T-Rex PMS'ing? Maybe it's just me, but had I been Noah and God pointed to a T-Rex and told me I had to get two of those on my ship for 40 days and nights, I think I would have told God to go shit in his hat.
Now the man most say is the Republican front runner for president is giving a keynote speech to creationists. I guess the title of his lecture should be: Noah: The T-Rex Whisperer.

Had to have one of each.

:evilgrin:

Ya got me.

...sorry pal...but even modern day engineers COULD NOT build a wooden boat
300 ft long....it would split under it's own weight.

God Bless Wikipedia!

from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Junk_(ship) :
"The largest junks were built for world exploration in the 1400s, and were around 120 (400+ feet) meters in length."

Whippeedoo! Go Junks! (Is that where "junkets" comes from?)
:woohoo:

Christians only, the rest of us drowned.

...show on Noah's ark and Engineers all said that it was impossible (300 Cubits)

1382 WYCLIF Exod. ii. 3 Whanne he my{ygh}te hide hym no lenger, he tok a ionket of resshen..and putte the litil faunt with ynne. {emem} Job 2nd Prol.

(That's from the OED; I don't give the direct cite since it's a fee site).

The earliest known cite is from Middle English, from Wycliffe's Bible. Later (the 16th century), it seems as if the original definition (a basket for carrying food) was mutated into picnicking or feasting, and in 20th century America further evolved into our modern definition of junket.

If you ever get the chance to read Wycliffe's translation of the Bible. The Middle English isn't so bad, once you get used to it, and it's really lovely, especially the more familiar stuff, like Genesis, Exodus, Matthew, and John.

- how to get the thing onboard?

for a game of fetch..

so they'd need room for that. Plus, they'd need room for all of the food the animals needed to eat to stay alive for forty days... and many animals are carnivores, so they'd have to have other animals to eat, which means that there are either more than two of some animals or not all of the animals made it out alive.

Maybe that's what happened to unicorns?

Seems rather unnecessary, since they have an easy way to explain the dinos' extinction. (They missed the boat.)

Besides, the dinos we are now told farted something fierce. Indeed, Farts of Doom. Why, if Noah ever lighted a candle.... ;)

http://www.answersingenesis.org/docs2001/dinos_on_ark.asp

Missed the boat.. :rofl:

Mind you these Dinosaur explanations came after the one about Satan planting fossils to test your faith didn't work. Kinda like the WMD/Al-Queada ties to Iraq. Just keep throwing stuff at the wall something will eventually stick.

The more advanced animals climbed the mountains as the flood waters rose, and that's why we find them in the topmost geological layers.

Oh, wait ... but the more primitive animals in the lower layers were aquatic ... and I don't suppose trees could walk up the mountains, so ... never mind. Next try.

:)

I watched one of his online lectures. It goes something like this:

The Bible sez, back in the day, everyone and everything lived much, much longer. And reptiles never stop growing. So, using modern scientifical thinking... if you kept a Biblical-era gecko as an heirloom, your great-grandson would inherit a brontosaurus. Noah only had to carry a clutch of wall-crawling lizards. See? It was not only possible, it was easy. And lucky for us, everything dies younger nowadays, so we don't have to deal with lizards growing into anything more fearsome than a Komodo.

So the good doctor said that dinosaurs.. um.. EVOLVED from small lizards? In the course of a couple hundred years? Brilliant!

Heavens no, evolution is un-possible. Feed and water a garden skink for a few centuries, then run like hell, because he'll be larger than a city bus, and hungry.

Plesiosaurs, Labyrinthodons, Icthyosaurus and Tanystropheus

They wouldn't have drowned since they already lived in water anyway.

I have to say that's something I've never pondered. :crazy:

No mature animals.

who drew the short straw and had to try to take the babies from their fully grown parents. "Excuse me Mrs 40 foot T-Rex, I'm just gonna take these babies from you, god told me to".

what the hell prompted it?

http://www.swcp.com/creation/

She'll set ya straight.


:puke:

of beetles in the world today alone. And that does not account for all the species that have gone extinct that we have evidence of existing at one time. The beetles alone would have swamped the ark. And that doesn't even get into the worms.