...or at least not by buying sex toys in Bama. (sheesh, talk about false advertisting...)
via
Crooks and LiarsFrom the arguments:
The Supreme Court refused to challenge the law this week. In lower court hearings, the State’s attorney argued that “it is enough for a legislature to reasonably believe that commerce in the pursuit of orgasms by artificial means for their own sake is detrimental to the health and morality of the State.”The women who sells (sold?) sex toys at two shops in Alabama said the state would "have to pry this vibrator from my cold, dead hands." - I'm always glad when I can laugh when faced with the absurdity of those who think the salute to the flag includes a pantie-sniffing moment.
Thankfully, there is no law against a Moen massaging shower head in your house or an battery operated massager to get that kink out of your shoulder. But I do get the distinct impression that the law doesn't take the bible literally, and we all know Roy wanted those ten commandments posted. What about Onan spilling his seed? Is that detrimental to the morality of the state? For punishment, do guys have to wear chastity shackles for their hands?
Not only that, HOW DARE humans pursue orgasms for their own sake?
You know, I really think the religiously political in this country would be so much better off if they just accepted that they are humans and that their god didn't hate humans because Adam and Eve made the beast with two backs. Their god hated them because the female "ate of the tree of knowledge." and it was all the fault of that talking snake...I hate that this weirdness conjures images of Blade Runner ifyouknowwhatimean. (Okay, gd says "they disobeyed.") Somehow I cannot imagine god as the head of a police state, but maybe that's just because my idea of omnipotent good wouldn't be someone who, as
Mark Twain noted:
He commanded Adam not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil; To disobey could not be a sin, because Adam could not comprehend a sin until the eating the fruit should reveal to him the difference between right and wrong. So he was unfair in punishing Adam for doing wrong when he could not know it was wrong. (315)
In his autobiographical dictations in June of 1906, Twain said almost the same things:
To Adam is forbidden the fruit of a certain tree and he is gravely informed that if he disobeys he shall die. How could that be expected to impress Adam? Adam was merely a man in stature; in knowledge and experience he was in no way the superior of a baby of two years of age; he could have no idea of what the word death meant. He had never seen a dead thing; he had never heard of a dead thing before. The word meant nothing to him. If the Adam child had been warned that if he ate of the apples he would be transformed into a meridian of longitude, that threat would have been the equivalent of the other, since neither of them could mean anything to him. (319-320)Oh, and heaven? Twain got it again-
...-man (sic, but in context)- has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights, the one ecstasy that stands first and foremost in the heart of every individual of his race -- and of ours -- sexual intercourse!
It is as if a lost and perishing person in a roasting desert should be told by a rescuer he might choose and have all longed-for things but one, and he should elect to leave out water!
His heaven is like himself: strange, interesting, astonishing, grotesque. I give you my word, it has not a single feature in it that he actually values. It consists -- utterly and entirely -- of diversions which he cares next to nothing about, here in the earth, yet is quite sure he will like them in heaven. Isn't it curious? Isn't it interesting? You must not think I am exaggerating, for it is not so.Zeus was also a jealous god, but at least he knew a thing or two...europa the cowgirl and all that.
and not only that, but don't you think the health and morality of the state would be BETTER maintained if people were able to deal with their own bodies in their own ways? as far as I know, you no longer grow hair on the palms of your hands... not sure if that's one of those "the earth was created in 24 hours at a SuperWalMart things or just a "please, that's stupid thing." Uh well nevermind....
Female DU activists - ready to do your part for the cause? A thousand points of dildo 'on' lights? A rousing chorus of "I did it myyyyyy wayyyy" and everybody wearing pink? oops, that one's taken. Posters of Georgia O'Keeffe flowers? Guest speaker Cyndi Lauper doing "She Bop?" Maybe the DiVinyls anthem to love...When I think of you...ugh...forget it, who could sing that to those judges even as street theater?
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