Oliver Willis: Cookie Monster Echoes The White House Argument On Torture

Q: Cookie Monster, why did you eat the cookie?

CM: I didn't eat cookie. Cookie Monster don't eat cookie.

Q: But Cookie Monster, you've got the cookie right in your hand. There's cookie crumbs all over your fur.

CM: But I didn't eat cookie. Cookie Monster does not eat cookies. Period.

Q: So what is that in your hand?

CM: What?

Q: That thing that looks like a cookie in your hand?

CM: Oh this. This am not cookie.

Q: It's not.

CM: No. Media is mistaken. Biased. Left-wing. Cookie Monster could not be holding a cookie because Cookie Monster, as previously stated, do not eat cookie!

Q: So what is it?

CM: Freedom.

Q: It's not a cookie, it's "Freedom".

CM: That is right. Cookie Monster redefine "cookie" as "freedom", so when Cookie Monster eat cookie, Cookie Monster can lie right to your face and say Cookie Monster don't eat cookie. He eat FREEDOM.

Q: Seriously?

CM: 9/11 changed everything.