"...did he die alone...?" and "...was he in pain...?"

The two most common questions of commanders from loved ones about death of soldiers in Iraq. From Awar Damon's report today on CNN concerning the state of soldiers in the Iraq occupation.

What was their last day like? is another one I hear a lot

I have 2 sons in their early 20's and if it were one of them that's what I would ask.
God, I hate this war.

21 and 23 and that is exactly what I would ask.

I can't imagine having to ask those questions, I just can't.

I don't think anybody ever dies alone... if it's not God it's the souls or the energy of those we love who are with us... but I have to admit that I still wouldn't really want my loved one to be physically alone during the last moments of being here on earth.

What a poignant question.

when I say I have those thoughts, and it's all I can do not to cry, no matter where I am.

this thread makes me cry.

But like many Americans this war doesn't directly touch me. No one in my family is current military (two retired - who have been out for more than fifteen years - but who we all know could be called back up.) Thus the pain, tears, profound sadness and anger are intermittent - when I read a story, when I hear about the current political debates, etc. That is not the same thing as having a loved one currently deployed, or just back from being deployed, or worse not coming back from being deployed. And even more sadly there are many in this country for whom the war and realities of the losses due to the war is just some abstraction - either to be ignored all together (ala Barbara Bush's doesn't want to trouble/bother her beautiful mind) or to be rallied around by agreeing with some rwnut radio voice.

Thank you for the courage to post to this thread. My deepest condolences.

We have no idea of the repercussions we'll face when these men come home and they have had all their mental health benefits cut. We had a guy down here in Colo Spgs kill himself waiting for a slot in the psych ward.

It's natural to wonder these things... about the conditions of someone's death.

Think about the millions of Iraqi's who have those very same questions about one of the 650,000 loved ones they've lost in this illegal war.

I hope Bush will realize what he has done someday.

Hard as it may be for the people facing such a loss, we ALL die alone and we ALL die in pain. Any answer to the contrary is just cushioning someone's feelings.

The question that should have been asked, and a question that no one would be willing to answer is, "Did he/she die for a good cause?" And the people at the top of the command chain should be asked that unanswerable question continually. (Good people at the top would be asking that question of themselves every day.)