A must read prayer by Mark Twain.

Mark Twain loved to mock and ridicule the kind of religious fundamentalism so prevalent today on the political right of the spectrum. Interestingly, Twain's mock prayer looks similar to prayers and prophecies in the Old Testament, so it doubles as a condemnation of the Bible, too.

"Letters from the Earth" will always be my favorite writing since the first time I read it...way back in the 60's

And thank you for posting that.

The complete story is "The War Prayer". There is an excellent paperback edition published by Beacon Press, illustrated with appropriate artwork.

http://thewarprayer.com/

Or You Tube

http://youtube.com/watch?v=jJsZCpp8hR4

http://youtube.com/watch?v=PsoJ-WJZGXM

"Oh Lord, our Father, our young patriots, idols of our hearts, go forth to battle. Be Thou near them! With them - in spirit - we also go forth from the sweet peace of our beloved firesides to smite the foe. O Lord, our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells. Help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead. Help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing In pain. O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy. And the Lord did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats. And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it. Help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire. Help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief. Help us to turn them out roofless with their little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sport of the sun-names of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of (lie grave and denied it. For our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their hitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, slain the white snow with the blood (if their wounded feel! We ask it in the spirit of love, of him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen."