Sexist, ageist poll below:

Whenever I snipe at the trophy wife of a Repuke politico I get a mild toasting and Dennis and his spouse come up. Ergo, this poll, to see who at DU I am offending when I look askance, for example, at a man in his sixties with cancer fathering a child.

Young liked them young the second time around.

Any volunteers?

virile, although there are those blue pills...

"Trophy wife" is an offensive term, which implies that women are "prizes" - not fully human, and not something to be respected unless they look a certain preapproved way.

didn't invent the term.

even if you didn't personally invent them. Pretty much all gender and race slurs, for instance, including this one. This is a gender slur, and the implication of using it is that women are sex objects to be taken in conquest as prizes, with no other value or standing as equals.

I don't go around using the N word and then shrugging and saying "it's shorthand for a black person, I didn't invent the term."

People use it BECAUSE it's offensive, and because they want to offend. There's not a reason to make an excuse for that. Think about the term, think about whether it's disrespectful of women, and then stop using it.

My mistake, sorry.

black your "N" word analogy might fit.

to commit to each other.

Not for bigots who don't even know them to make sexist judgments about their inherent worth based on their looks or age. My analogy stands.

Don't treat women like second class citizens, don't treat them like the sex-class-unless-they-prove-otherwise. Don't act like some people are getting married outside of their league - or like it's your job to decide what their league is.

It's not that hard.

with grandchildren so their kids will have someone to play with.

Do you personally get validation or something, as a man, from acting this way? Does it make you feel superior to make statements like that?

ladies chose their husbands to validate their independence and personhood-I think they are goldiggers or get off on powertrips.

Thanks for proving my point.

these guys' first batch of children then were dumped for a newer model-whatever the newer model's motivation might have been, those first wives are women too-but to hell with them, right?

Once again, the women-as-consumer-item mentality is front and center in your post.

He got married at age 17, it's not uncommon for such early marriages (or ANY marriage) to end in divorce.

He began dating his second wife 11 years after the divorce, so you can drop the "woman as home-wrecker" story line.

God forbid you just refer to the woman as a human being, instead of gold-digger-trophy-wife-newer-model-homewrecker. God forbid you should define her as anything but her relative worth to men, or willingness to take advantage of men.

(But you don't have a sexist bone in your body, right?)

of our local congress-critter:

"In 1985, Young divorced his first wife, with whom he had three children, and married his current wife, Beverly, 25 years his junior. They met when she went to work as a secretary in his congressional office." (from Wikipedia)

I wouldn't want one of my daughters to get dumped in middle age for a younger woman or to marry a man old enough to be her father. If that makes me a sexist pig, so be it.

Do you also not use terms like "gigolo," "sugar daddy" and "cradle robber?" That would be fair.

I've heard people on DU use cradle robber to refer to someone in a relationship with an adult woman. They can't understand why it's offensive, go figure. I guess they don't see a problem with implying that adult women are infants.

I'm divorced. My husband is now married to a woman who is younger, thinner, and blond. And you know what? She had nothing to do with our marital problems whatsoever. I'd be lying if I said she was in any way responsible.

If you wouldn't want one of your daughters to get divorced in middle age, that's not sexist - it's wanting your daughter to have a happy relationship.

If your daughter got divorced in middle age because the guy left her for another woman - and you thought it was especially bad because the other woman looked a certain way or was a certain age, then yes, that would make you a sexist pig. When you judge women based on superficial sexist crap, guess what? That makes YOU superficial and sexist.

I noticed you posted a photo of Fred and Jeri, with the comment that you "don't see any trophy here." Do you mind saying directly what you meant by that comment? Why was it posted with a photo of them - were her looks related in some way to that comment?

handsome, virile, youthful s.o.b. in his prime, isn't he? She, on the other hand, is too short, needs a breast reduction and a session on that TV show "What Not to Wear."

When I see young good looking women marrying a much older guy because they like his collection of string or bottle caps or matchbook covers rather than his collection of money, stocks and bonds, houses, etc. maybe my attitude will change. The same would apply to any wealthy powerful guy who married an older, not particularly attractive woman who was penniless-I'm sure that happens all the time and I just don't notice.

You have a good attitude about your divorce.

Without the words I used in my previous post, Tony Bellus, Fleetwood Mac, David Lee Roth (and Louis Prima) would have missed out on a lot of royalty payments.

That's a rude and offensive statement.

The attitude behind it hints again at this idea that women are consumer items, and you're supposed to select options for them like you are selecting options for a car. This is part of that dehumanization that men do to women. I don't know if you've ever seen the BBC documentary about Real Dolls, http://www.hemmy.net/2007/07/02/sex-dolls-and-guys-bbc-documentary/ but you're reminding me of the section where they are picking out body shapes and sizes for the new "women" in their life.

That's her natural height. There's not a way for it to be wrong, or too short or too tall. It just is what it is. Same with her breasts, and your attitude about them reeks of male supremacy. Women have breasts. We wear them in public. Deal with it. I don't know where you got the idea that women's breasts need to be a certain size or shape to be appropriate for general use - and if the breasts don't merit your approval as a man, the woman "needs" medical intervention.

you aren't upset by my obvious attack on Fred Thompson an elderly man....aging through no fault of his own, he was just born a long time ago, it isn't his fault.

Do you show as much breast "in public" as Jeri did in that pic much?

Would that help you decide what sort of a person I am? What would that say about me? Do you need to know my bra size as well so you can decide if my breasts are an acceptable size for me to be wearing an evening gown that shows cleavage?

I typed a response on your comments on Fred, and I deleted it before posting - because as a general rule, I don't think I need to be spending my efforts fighting against the oppression of rich white men.

However, since you asked, yes, your comments on his age were stupid and offensive and made me think less of you than I already did. I have friends with gray hair and some *gasp* wrinkles who I find attractive, and I know there are men and women on DU who have gray hair and wrinkles, and I think your comments imply that they have less worth in some way than other people here. That attitude is superficial, piggish and hateful, and I think you don't give a damn about that, or about who you hurt when you mock people who don't have "perfect" bodies according to your standards. I'm sorry you think people are less worthy of being loved if they aren't in their "prime" (like a slice of meat? what does that even mean?) or the proper height, the proper proportions, and the proper income level. Your comments diminish not only others, but also yourself.

When I think about the folks I care about, on DU and elsewhere in my life, some of them have physical or mental disabilities, some of them are considerably older than me with bodies that show their age, and you could look like a male model for all I care, but I'd take them over you in a heart beat because they have a basic love of humanity and respect for people. As a result, when they make "jokes," they aren't sexist or racist or homophobic.

It implies that the man in question does indeed consider her a prize. It is no more offensive a term than "racist" is, as it is simply pointing out--and disapproving of--a shallowness in others.

It says nothing about Thompson.

DU acts like she's only good as a trophywifeprizesexobject because of her looks. I guarantee if she were 50 pounds heavier, black, with nonstraightened or braided hair, nobody here would be calling her a trophy wife - even if her background and age were unchanged. If she were 50 pounds heavier, and black with natural hair, we'd be talking an entirely different way about her. Hell, you just need to look at the comments on DU about Cynthia's McKinney to know that's true.

That's an issue with the attitude of DUers, not of Fred Thompson.

Secondly, yeah, it does have to do with her looks. It implies that her husband is so shallow that he went after her only because of them. Saying "that woman is attractive" is not sexist or demeaning. Saying "that woman is a trophy wife" says two things, and two things only:

1. Her husband was after youth and beauty primarily.
2. She was after money or power primarily.

In the case of Thompson, as in the case of DK, as in the case of Anna Nicole Smith, both are likely true. To claim otherwise is to be in abject denial of humanity's coarser natures. To claim that pointing out those shallow natures is "sexist" is a misuse of the term.

(by current corporate standards) are not marriage material - because the men who marry them are shallow?

Are they untouchables, when it comes to marriage? Perhaps better used for one night stands?

And women aren't allowed to marry out of the economic caste they were born into?

Why is it that when men marry a successful woman, they are admired, we talk about how great they are for not feeling threatened by having a strong spouse, and we put them on a pedestal, but when women marry successful men, they are gold-diggers?

I'm not denigrating anyone, or saying anyone is marriageable or not, or talking anything about economic castes. You're all over the place. All I'm saying is that if you believe that no men fetishize beauty and youth, that no women are attracted to money or power, or that no two such people meet, you have an unrealistically noble view of humanity.

males are looking for good looking for mates. an instinct level young and curvy implies the ability to give birth on

females are looking for wealth and power (existential security)

women are animals at the end, so are men.

Any objections?

DU acts like she's only good as a trophywifeprizesexobject because of her looks. I guarantee if she were 50 pounds heavier, black, with nonstraightened or braided hair, nobody here would be calling her a trophy wife - even if her background and age were unchanged. If she were 50 pounds heavier, and black with natural hair, we'd be talking an entirely different way about her. Hell, you just need to look at the comments on DU about Cynthia's McKinney to know that's true.

I dunno. I'm seeing a lot of implicit associations here. You seem to be using "black", "50 pounds heavier", and "natural hair" as though they were universally recognized markers for being unappealing.

Thing is, "DU" is a lot of different people, and it's just a fact that not everyone automatically prefers white over black. For that matter, 50 pounds more than rail thin on a six-foot frame would just result in an average build -- also not necessarily an express ticket to Fugly Town.

And considering that beauty seems to be the thing that makes a "trophy wife" a trophy wife, your description of the supposedly less desirable woman still doesn't tell us much about what she actually looks like.

But in general, it's no big secret that our beauty standards, set by corporations, are both highly sexist and racist. I thought it was clear from my posts, but in case it wasn't, I was speaking with disdain about those standards, not supporting them.

I do, however, see a lot of people on DU vigorously policing those corporate beauty standards, both from a sexist perspective (this thread is a good example) and from a racist perspective. Why do you think they chose this particular photo to demonstrate how "crazy" the woman is: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2067497#2067680

There was a short but good post about those standards here: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=258x3657#4252


Not everyone on DU does that shit. But some do. And when they do it, it's often allowed to stand, or sometimes the thread is locked, but usually the person is not tombstoned for making sexist or racist posts. They are still welcome in our community.

With a repuke, it's always the idea of the "trophy wife" a woman is a consumer item and they have the one they deem more expensive, like the Mercedes they drive.

With Dennis it is just a fluke that he connected with a certain other person and it doesn't matter what her age was (or her height) - they are both exceptional people and they connected in a way that a repuke would never get. The more you see of Elizabeth, the more you see that she would be loved as First Lady regardless of who she had married, age, or even that she is British. She fell for Dennis because of who he is.

Whereas the trophy wives are shallow people who married the older guy for his money and power.

be BMW. :toast: Am I going to hold it against her? LOL :rofl:

I?

... how she handles in the turns, I guess. :silly: :dunce:

Comparing apples to oranges.

I do have a question why we are talking about their wives though... as if that was relevant.

When they do it: bad, sexist, cruel to children

We we do it: true love, enlightened spirits that know no limitations of age.

There is less than a 20 year age difference between me and my spouse and I don't have the faintest idea, nor do I care, about the spouses of my congressman and my two senators.

As are most who married after attaining high office, I would bet. It's just particularly obvious with those two.

Oh, but you can tell she loves him for his mind. They had a special connection. There's real love there. Just like with Anna Nicole Smith and J. Howard Marshall.

No one cares about Dodd, anyway. Plus, she's like 40 something.

Gays don't have spouses, too?

Huh.

I mean, sure, I'm perpetually single, but that's a little on the nose, don't you think?

meaning, not as in "significant other." I can't please anyone today.

Your "choice" for gay DUers is insulting, as well as ignorant. Even in places where gays can't be legally married, a spouse is a spouse. I'd consider Haruka my spouse, even if NJ didn't legally recognize her as such.

what the age difference is in my congressperson and senator and their spouses.

You got criticized so now you spread it all over another damn thread? Poor, wounded you... :nopity:

You've made up your mind that your a victim, so wallow in your self-pity all you want. I didn't vote, FWIW.

and great sex in the last 30 min. Does that count for anything since hubby is 9 yrs my senior?

:hi:

Just found your thread.

There are 25 years between me and Mr. Debi (although I don't think either one of us would call me a trophy).

However, it's going to take more than a poll like this or your commenting on some 'dirty old man' to offend me.

Happy Thanksgiving.

d.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=2328151&mesg_id=2328529

Of course, he doesn't seem to know how many DUers have significant age differences.

Glad to see my favorite petty golddigger.

Maybe I don't count just 'cuz Me. B@L is YOUNGER than me?! Hmmm??? (taps foot, offendedly)

How AGEIST of you, LostinVA! I'm off to start another whiny thread to whine about how you used someone else's victimhood thread to diss me! Hmph!














:sarcasm: for the wittically challenged at DU--they seem to be breeding (not you LostinVA, more like the OP).

:rofl:

Lovin an older man so that I can live the good life :rofl:

I miss you (and your little Haruka too)! :hi: :

are not ripping my head off for this poll is enough to make you a trophy to me. Mr. Debi is a lucky guy.

It's funny that someone can suggest killing, gutting, cooking and eating Scottie McClellan here at DU and catch no flack, but this poll apparently offended a ton of people, which was sure not my intent.

:thumbsdown: :thumbsdown:

:rofl: