Awry in a Manger: It Takes a Miracle To Stage This Play

The Wall Street Journal

Awry in a Manger: It Takes a Miracle To Stage This Play

In Living Nativity Scenes, Frisky Goats Steal Show; Joseph Takes a Tumble
By DIONNE SEARCEY
December 18, 2007; Page A1

MOUNT LAUREL, N.J. -- Mary and Joseph were headed for Bethlehem when the donkey hauling the Virgin spooked, bucked her and bolted. Joseph frantically jumped on the donkey's hind end but fell off and got caught in the reins. The creature kept going, dragging Joseph behind for several hundred feet before it finally settled down. That mishap, of course, doesn't appear in the Bible. It's from a so-called living nativity scene that was performed here two years ago at the Fellowship Baptist Church.

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In Fort Walton Beach, Fla., a cow fled the First Baptist Church nativity set several years ago and wandered around downtown for about an hour until police could corral it. At First United Methodist Church in Tuckerton, N.J., two years ago a camel noticed that the thatched roof used to create the stable setting was made of tasty evergreen branches. It ate nearly the entire roof. Pastor Wallin himself was a victim of a sheep gone wild one year at Fellowship Baptist's living nativity, which still features a small flock of the wooly mammals. He tried to stop the fleeing sheep by squeezing it between his legs and ended up going for a ride, backward, before falling off.

In some municipalities, organizers must pay fees and obtain permits for having barn animals in urban areas, or follow special procedures if camels are declared to be exotic animals. The First Baptist Church in Salinas, Calif., had to get a special permit for its elaborate nativity that included a leopard as part of King Herod's entourage. Some churches must hire traffic-control teams for safety because the crowds are so big.

As the popularity of living nativity scenes has spread to urban areas with little access to farm animals, churches shell out upwards of $1,000 per animal (or $3,000 per camel) to rent out friendly beasts from handlers and other businesses that have sprouted up to cater to them. The vendors typically have insurance policies that cover them in case anyone renting the animals is injured. Some churches spend thousands of dollars on the productions, which they in turn offer free to the public. Fellowship Baptist estimates it spends as much as $20,000 on its nativity. In some well-heeled, McMansion-pocked suburbs, plywood nativities have been supplanted by elaborate sets with period costumes, soundtracks, Hollywood-esque lighting and camels rented for the occasion. Some are drive-thru style, with narration broadcast on a local FM channel. Mount Laurel's living nativity has pulleys that lift Jesus along the side of the church building to re-enact his ascension to heaven.

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Even the best-planned productions are vulnerable to problems. At the I.M. Pei-designed Crystal Cathedral in Orange County, Calif., rehearsals started weeks ago for the "Glory of Christmas," which features professional actors and seven flying angels soaring nearly 100 feet overhead. Among the glitches through the years: stage-diving camels, ill-timed bleating and countless Roman Soldiers on horseback bonking their heads on the church's low balcony. Two years ago, a donkey broke Joseph's toe by stepping on his foot, says stage manager Bodie Newcomb. The sound mixer saw it happening and quickly turned down Joseph's microphone so the audience wouldn't hear him yelp.

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Oh, for Christ's sake! :rofl:

for these "holy" folks to as "What would Jesus do?"

Jesus would probably laugh at the nonsense also.

and decided to share the fun..

If Christmas celebrates the Lord being born into human form as the Christ, and Easter celebrates Jesus rising from the grave (Good Friday celebrates his lynching), why exactly are they depicting Jesus rising into Heaven in a Christmas display?