What are Shrub's top 1, 2, 3 actions taken when a crisis errupts?!1

The candidates are currently being put through their paces by our unimaginative, herd media:

"What would be the first three things you would do if you were president when something like the BHUTTO assassination happened?"


Like the idiotic "hand raising" at the so-called debates.


I wish one of our candidates would have the appropriate anatomical parts to say, "Well, let's move away from the hypothetical onto actuality here. What has Shrub done so far---a two minute reading of somebody else's words, delivered with minimal conviction, not to mention comprehension? Where has our secretary of State been, by the way? I guess I would get my Secretary of State to hightail her ass over in front of me for some serious jabbering, for starters."

when in doubt,
run in circles,
scream and shout.

I didn't see him with it yesterday.

1) Try to sober up some
2) Hair and makeup
3) Speak slowly and try not to slur too much
4) Take no questions
5) Get the hell out of there

He'd

1) Blame the terrorists.

2) Blame the Democrats.

3) Say it's just politics.

During Katrina it was-

1) Pretend to be a guitarist.

2) Go to a birthday party and eat cake.

3) Go to a fund raiser.