Are you ready for the Great Depression of 2008?

Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to bring you a revolutionary new product, the Great Depression of '08 Survival Kit, from the same folks who gave your grandparents the Great Depression of 1929.

A consortium of prestigious Wall Street investment firms with decades of experience between them, the Great Depression of '08 Company offers the support and enthusiasm of our wonderful, caring, representatives in Washington DC. We have come together to offer you a once in a lifetime opportunity to invest in your future. Do not hesitate to take advantage of this great offer, as every passing day brings our blessed Nation closer and closer to economic ruin.


Do not get caught short like the folks back in '29, be ready when your job goes overseas, when the bank forecloses on your home, and repossesses your SUV. No reason for concern, simply break out your Great Depression of '08 Survival Kit and put your mind to rest.

The Great Depression of '08 Survival kit contains everything a penniless, homeless, out of work American family will need to cope with the ravages of economic deprivation. The centerpiece of the Kit contains a high quality, made in China topless 55 gallon drum, perfect for burning most combustible materials quickly and efficiently, keeping you, your family, and your neighbors warm even on the coldest nights.

But that's not all, the Great Depression of '08 Kit also includes a pair of tough brown workman's gloves, the fingers of which having already been removed saving you the time and trouble to concentrate on begging and scrounging for food. And that's not all. folks, the Great Depression of '08 Kit also contains luxury living quarters, nothing less than a spacious heavy duty cardboard refrigerator carton, top notch shelter for you and your family.

Just think of it, the Great Depression of '08 deluxe refrigerator carton will not only keep you and yours dry, but will bring all your family members closer together, just like the old days.

Wait a minute, there is much more! The Great Depression of '08 Company has thought of everything. We at Great Depression of '08 understand that there will be moments of doubt and pain during these uncertain times, so we have thoughtfully provided a bottle of muscatel, along with a handy brown paper carrying bag in the deal, free of charge. And, as the owner of the prestigious Great Depression of '08 Survival Kit, not only will you be surviving in style, but will be the envy of your less fortunate fellow citizens living under bridges or down by the river, who foolishly passed up this wonderful once in a lifetime offer.

And if you act now, we'll throw in a refurbished shopping cart with original chrome finish, plus a list of all the local soup kitchens and charitable organizations in your area. Unbelievable!

So call our special toll free number now, 1800-NWO-4-YOU. Our operators are standing by to take your order. Cash or money order only! Sorry, no haggling!