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Yeah, I know we're having our own little nomination war here on DU... An Obama vs. Clinton celebrity death match and all. Clinton's a racist, Obama's a homophobe. Edwards and Kucinich don't get no love from the general public, so they don't count.
But, geez. Imagine what it's like to be a Repug right now. Seriously. We've got it good compared to them.
Thompson's the guy they'd love to root for. A hollywood dream. Shades of Reagan. Except he's about as exciting as a snail with a racing stripe painted on its shell. Whoopee! Throw open the gate and watch him... "Ah, geez. Would someone wake him up? This is no way to run a race."
Hmmm. Of course there's also Huckabee. He's a religious man, after all. A former minister, right? Got God in his pocket? 'Cept, well, maybe...he's been listening too much to that Jesus fellow rather than the callous, smite-happy Old Testament God. Too worried about the poor, not really hip on the whole prosperity theology rap. And, well, there are still a lot of more influential (and affluent) Republicans who get nervous when he starts up with that economic populism stuff.
Mitt Romney? He's a Mormon. They're little better than a cult. Sure, he's got the look, but deep down they all know that they can't trust the guy. His religion doesn't pass the smell test. Too bad he's not a Baptist or Methodist.
McCain is probably the best conciliatory candidate. Of course, he flops around like a fish accidentally dropped to the bottom of a boat. He doesn't like the religious right, then he does, then he doesn't. He's against torture, but, well, it depends on who's doing the torturing, right? Most of America's done with the war, but he's quite happy with the way it's going.
Giuliani? Let's be serious. This guy doesn't just have skeletons in his closet...he drags them around behind him in a big ol' trunk to show off at parties. He's not a presidential candidate--he's a one-man Halloween act. "Rockin' Rudy Ghoul and his Skeleton Crew."
The best thing that could happen to the Republican Party this time around would be an all-candidate suicide pact.
Sure, we've got a few issues. But at least we're not THEM.
Be happy about that, at least.
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