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Jack Van Impe says we can rest easy for another 12 months ...

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phrigndumass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-26-08 12:55 AM
Original message
Jack Van Impe says we can rest easy for another 12 months ...
... the rapture has been delayed for another year. It should happen in May of 2009, though, so get ready.

Who is this fucktard?! I was channel-surfing and stopped to gawk at his fat plastic hairdo.

:tinfoilhat:
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TheMightyFavog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-26-08 01:08 AM
Response to Original message
1. He's some crazy televangelist fundie obsessed with Christian eschatology.
Edited on Wed Mar-26-08 01:10 AM by JonathanChance
He's been saying that the rapture is right around the corner for a few decades now.

He may be a kook, but he did once compare Pat Robertson to Osama Bin Laden. I guess even a stopped clock is accurate twice a day.
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datopbanana Donating Member (938 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-26-08 01:10 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. phew
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phrigndumass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-26-08 01:16 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. I guess he uses a pencil for his schedule then.
Maybe we should be looking for Osama in Virginia? That's priceless.
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annabanana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-26-08 12:12 PM
Response to Reply #3
20. It's not HIS fault. . GOD keeps changing his mind. .
sheesh
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spoony Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-26-08 01:23 AM
Response to Original message
4. His wife looks like she just stepped off a UFO
Frightens me a little, to be honest. Is he just local in the midwest?
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phrigndumass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-26-08 01:33 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. I think these are nationwide fundies ...
... by the looks of their website.

http://www.jvim.com

"The Bible Prophecy Portal of the Internet" ... scary!
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spoony Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-26-08 01:45 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. Oh good, they're podcasting too!
Lol I just read the "question of the week" and check out this part of the answer:

"So when you add 40 to 1967 you come out to around 2008 or 2009."

Uh...or not, Jack. :P
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melody Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-26-08 02:12 AM
Response to Original message
7. Damn! I was going to start collecting pink slips and deeds soon!
Now I have to put it off for another year.
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longship Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-26-08 04:43 AM
Response to Original message
8. I love this guy
His plastic wife, Roxella, who always seems like she's in a trance and who talks like a kindergarten teacher. The way Van Impe nods his head when he's trying to emphasize an important point. Yes, his plastic hairdo. And of course, his ever present doom and gloom predictions, always with that silly smile on his face. He's an amazing character.

I lived in Royal Oak, MI in the late 70's, just down the road from his world hdqtrs. I just had to shake my head every time I drove past.

Van Impe is an amazing cultural outlier.
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B3Nut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-26-08 08:39 AM
Response to Reply #8
11. He's definitely entertaining, in a macabre sort of way
though I used to believe a lot of that type of stuff. I even had a pastor back in Michigan who worked for Van Impe at one point... :scared:

Some of the stuff I used to go for....yikes! I look back at it now and shake my head....

So ol' Jack's into date-setting now, eh? He used to preach against that sort of thing...funny how some of these dinks change their tune. Anything to make a buck, I suppose.
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noonwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-26-08 11:14 AM
Response to Reply #8
13. I wonder how many people really take him seriously
His show has second-rate production values, compared to the slickness of "The 700 Club" or, my favorite tv ministry (serously), Hillsong (I like the music and the compassion for the poor).

I've never seen he or his wife in public, but I heard a rumor that the lovely Rexella gets her hair done at the Somerset Macy's.
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Theres-a Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-26-08 12:56 PM
Response to Reply #13
22. I used to know a guy
He used to call their show "the good news". Did I mention he had a wet brain?
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deutsey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-26-08 05:55 AM
Response to Original message
9. He also once claimed that UFOs were piloted by demons
I kid you not. Back in the '90s he sold a video that claimed UFO sightings were a sign that the end was near because UFOs were piloted by "spirits of the air" that were demonic.

Could you imagine being stuck in an elevator with this guy?
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Javaman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-26-08 09:59 AM
Response to Reply #9
12. I'd step on his head to climb out the hatch!! nt
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Locrian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-26-08 06:22 AM
Response to Original message
10. creepy
I stumble on his show from time to time..... very creepy x-files vibe there.

You just cant make that shit up (well, Jack does) but I mean he's so wack that he could be the model for every camp, creepy, weird teevee parody.
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Touchdown Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-26-08 11:24 AM
Response to Reply #10
16. He's The Weekly World News of ministries.
:D
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immoderate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-26-08 11:23 AM
Response to Original message
14. For a real "blast" though...
You can't hold a candle to Robert Tilton.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/334/

--IMM
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chixydix Donating Member (269 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-26-08 11:38 AM
Response to Reply #14
18. But if you do, tape it to a 10 foot pole
:D
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immoderate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-26-08 12:11 PM
Response to Reply #18
19. Good advice.
Your screen name is the same as one we had for an informal jam session.

--IMM
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JBoy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-26-08 11:24 AM
Response to Original message
15. Aggghhhkkk!


Bride of agghhkk!
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avenger64 Donating Member (554 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-26-08 11:31 AM
Response to Original message
17. Ah man, and I was running up my credit card ...
.... thinking it was coming this May. Man, that was stupid. Now I'm going to have to pay it off.
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musette_sf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-26-08 12:18 PM
Response to Original message
21. Jack and Rexella
have provided many hilarious hours of Recreational Christianity for our household...

here they are back when they needed a few tunes for their carnival act:



and the Wiki:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Van_Impe

which states that Rexella was born the same year as my mom (1932) ... so i guess we are to assume that Jeebus is quite the plastic surgeon.

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