Don't want to get pregnant? Don't have sex. Don't want Cancer? Don't smoke. (have fun....)

(Email making the rounds got this a bit ago from my cousin in Indiana)

Don't want to get pregnant? Don't have sex. Don't want Cancer? Don't smoke.

We are told time and again from liberals that we need more sex ed and birth control pills in our schools. Their thought process is that kids will have sex anyway so why not help them along and protect them with condoms, pills, abortions, and so on.

Well, teens will smoke as well. Why not give them lighters and light cigarettes as well? This will save them from approaching adults (who could do them harm) and asking them for smokes. It could save store owners a lot who can get fined for selling cigarettes to minors.

Years ago we told kids what could harm them or make their lives worse and we left it at that. Now we cave in and say "Having sex can lead to an unwanted pregnancy or STD, or even HIV, but you probably will do what you want so here are some condoms and birth control pills for you anyway."

We expect them to do what is potentially bad for them. And we try to make it safer for them which is a form of encouragement to them.

The message we are sending is mixed. If you don't want to get pregnant or an STD don't engage in a behavior that leads to that. But they have their addiction and since most all of us have sex we look the other way. Some people like alcohol. Some like smoking. Some like marijuana. But we are not out there handing out things they need, we tell them to stop - to abstain.

Sex education is a good thing, teaching kids about what it can lead to is what we should be doing. Encouraging them to do it by providing them the tools should not be what our schools should be doing. This is a parental decision and each parent should be free to make it.

They are all about the separation of church and state but they have no problem in other areas of keeping the parents out of the decision making process when it comes to sex. Sex education and providing of condoms and pills should be separate as well.

You can't pray in school anymore. But you can get condoms.

And they say we are trying to influence the kids.

Pass this along to those on your mailing list!

(name removed)
------------------------------------------------------------------

My reply:

Hey (name removed),

Thanks for emailing me, been a few days since we have talked. I got your mail and wanted to know while I appreciate it I have a few points to make:

(Well, I was writing a reply then thought I would hit you all up before I went to all the effort. I will send tomorrow after checking in here)

I am trying to be polite as she is overall not a bad lady (and I suspect she sent this to me because I am a smoker and a liberal and wanted to make some sort of point and maybe save my soul and get me to vote differently).

Don't vote Republican.

Something like this isn't worth a response, it's too ridiculous.

If you want to say a prayer, you are free to do so. If you want to get a condom, you can do that too (I guess somewhere, not where I live, but whatever).

Teachers can't require than an entire classroom of students with different beliefs stop what they are doing and pray to the Christian god. Teaches also can require than an entire classroom of students with different beliefs stop what they are doing and go get a condom.

The students indidividual right to make private choices about doing these things remains in tact. If you want your child to pray at school or not get a condom, then you as a parent are certainly free to teach your child not to do those things.

So WHAT IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM?

Personal responsibility. Existential choices. Actions have consequences.

Cheers.

Don't get greedy and buy subprime mortgage securities with leverage....

Unless you're pretty sure Uncle Ams will bail you out...using money from taxpayers like the author of the e-mail.

Don't vote for compassionate conservatives.

When people smoke, knowing the risks, we still give them health care even if we disagree with their decisions. When people don't exercise, we treat the resulting illnesses. When people go skiing and break a leg, we don't tell them, too bad, you knew the risks.

In our society, we educate people about the risks of various activities, we give advice, we have our own strongly held opinions, but we don't withhold preventative medical care. Trying to compare providing condoms which PREVENT disease and unwanted pregnancies, to providing lit cigarettes which CAUSES disease is not logical.

A more accurate analogy for their position would be to say we shouldn't give toothbrushes to kids that drink soda and eat sugary foods.

There is no "contraceptive" that can allow smokers to smoke, yet avoid the risk of developing cancer.

Sex ed no more encourages kids to have an abortion than driver's ed encourages kids to get into deadly accidents.Sex education does not PROMOTE sexual activity, it arms the students with knowledge about the consequences of sexual activity and how to avoid the worst of them if they decide to engage in sex anyway (which many will regardless of how they were raised at home. Adults who are being honest with themselves will acknowledge this as truth). Many parents are completely uncomfortable with speaking to their children about sex, which leads to many popular misconceptions. Sex education shreds light on many myths; drinking bleach won't prevent an HIV infection, oral sex is still "sex" and can transmit STDs, you can get pregnant the first time, etc.

To appeal to the repugs selfish side: a lack of sex education can lead to more unwanted pregnancies and STDs-especially among the poor. The cost for caring for poor or unwanted children and the very sick can ultimately fall on the taxpayer's shoulders. Spending a little on sex education early on will ultimately save Americans a bundle.


A personal note: my father was a sex therapist and I grew up in a home surrounded by sexually explicit material and language-but no "smut"(everything was somewhat clinical). I didn't become sexually active until I was 19 and living with my fiance. There was nothing terribly mysterious about it and I was well informed about STDs, so I was in no hurry to engage in the activity myself. Young people in many European countries have the same attitudes. Amsterdam, for instance, has one of the lowest teen birth rates on earth.

(I think the OP has me on ignore, so this is all probably a wasted effort).

The most likely deep and fundamental "life lesson" she's learned probably goes something like "people deserve what they get and get what they deserve". What you need to do is overwhelm her with a barrage of really really bad news (sick kids and people who are deformed and such) and rub her face in it until she begs you to stop.

It's actually easier if you have knowledge of bad things that have happened to her, because then her entire worldview on illness and misfortune and the like becomes oh so much more personal. One thing you may want to consider is putting in the "HI! I'm Cancer." thread from the past couple of days, and be certain to give her the link so she can prove to herself that, yes, Virginia, we really were just talking about this very topic.

You might also want to point out that a lot of people have cancers which run in their family. My own father died of familial adenomatous polyposis (FAP) after dealing with it for decades; his disease was so strong in his family, and yet so rare outside it, that the University of Kentucky medical school at one point did a study on him and his brothers, father, and grandfather. I actually held this study in my hands once when I was young, but I've no clue what's happened to it since.

Another example is a very good friend of mine, who recently found out he is HIV+. Word of mouth where he lives, just outside Durham, NC, is that a religious nutball who has HIV is going around infecting gay men specifically because his religion says being gay is wrong.

She needs to understand that individual morality is not a shield from disease, lest she herself get sick somehow and spend her days fretting over what she did to "deserve" it. Nobody "deserves" to be or become ill; the illnesses people get make no distinction between Mother Theresa and Charles Manson. They react solely to the biochemistry of their host and the principles of molecular biology- and we're starting to decode those secrets, in spades.

But again, in essence, she needs to realize that personal morality holds no bearing upon susceptibility to illness, before she frets herself to pieces (and at the same time, actually hindering her healing via stress and depression) over having done something "wrong" to "deserve it".

maybe it's one of these?
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=familial+adenomatous+polyposis+kentucky

This was years and years ago- it was done before the internet was a glimmer in whomever's imagination. I'll ask my mom if she has the original, print version; I'm sure it's fascinating.

In the meantime- thanks! I'll take a look at those eventually (I *just* woke up!). One thing I'm wondering is if the study they did on his family was the only one they did on that disease.

Oh, and before anyone asks, I'm adopted, so I don't have to worry about that terrible conflation of familial cancers (bone cancer on mom's side). In fact, my and my sister's adoptions were the way my parents decided to eliminate the diseases from our branch of the family tree.

No, instead I get to worry myself over diseases that run in "my" family, of which I have no clue at all. :)

You have two really great options at your disposal.

1. Tell her you cannot get pregnant because you have no womb.

Tell her you CAN get cancer and it often happens to people who do not smoke.

Then, you can ask her how she would feel if you forwarded her an email asking her if she'd like a bigger penis.

And don't forget to end it with:
Have a blessed day!

That will make her head spin.

Or...

2. This idea is aimed at people who send unsolicited spam bullshit emails like that around. It is intended as a big huge "FUCK YOU" (in a nice but piercing way) right back at 'em.


Just copy and paste this:



I just want to thank all of you for your educational emails over the past year.

Thanks to you, I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.

I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.

I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I can't enjoy lemon slices in my tea or on my seafood anymore because lemon peels have been found to contain all kinds of nasty germs including feces.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pass-time while driving alone is picking your nose (Although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot)

Eating a Little Debbie sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.
Yuck!

I must send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry have to worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packa ges from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore or Uzbekistan .

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...


Have a wonderful day...
LOVE,
YOUR PARANOID EMAIL-BUDDY!


Don't forget to use
HUGE BOLDED RED LETTERS to keep in the spirit of their predominantly uber paranoid bossy ass bullshit style.

Yes, I hate spammers and chain letter senders with every fiber of my being. This one lets them fucking have it so maybe they'll think twice before sending more of that junk around and wasting valuable bandwidth with their shit.

Have a blessed day! :)

:)

about right now.

Then I just realized, it's just too damn stupid to waste my time. I mean, sheesh!

Not particularly analogous or equivalent.

Most if not all legitimate studies show that abstinence-only education results in higher teen-pregnancy rates within a population.

Or by billions of years of evolution, depending on just exactly what your beliefs might be.

The intensity of the sexual urge varies widely among human beings, but the vast majority of us have it to one degree or another.

Smoking is a stupid habit that is driven by slick Madison Avenue marketing campaigns, no one is born with a desire to smoke cigarettes.

Although nicotine is the addictive substance in cigarettes, it is not what makes them dangerous for the smoker, handing out condoms to kids who are likely to engage in sex is really more akin to providing Nicorette gum or nicotine patches to help smokers quit smoking.. It removes the harmful aspect of the behavior while not completely eliminating the gratifying of an urge..

Anti-Bullshit Spray

http://www.jamminn.com/store/21007.shtml

When the air gets a little thick with bull, let in the fresh scent of Anti Bullshit Spray!
Whether you're being hosed in the boardroom or the bedroom, Anti Bullshit Spray eliminates
the nasty odors associated with all types of bullshit. From a simple butt kiss to a complete
unadulterated lie, use Anti Bullshit to take the smell of crap away!




:P

:hi:

What do you do if you DO want cancer? Huh?

There have to be so many people out there who are like, man, give me some cancer! but there's just no sure-fire way of getting it.

Smokers can lower their cancer risk to zero by switching from tobacco to marijuana - it shouldn't be too hard to convince students to make that switch.

Sex with a partner of the same gender has a zero risk of pregnancy - and according to right-wing fundamnmentalists, that's a "lifestyle" choice. Following that to its logical conclusion, encouraging students to make the "right" choice should lower teen pregnancy rates.

Thank her politely for her concern, and let her know you're going to get to work right away on resolving these burning issues.

Viola!

We must not stop at simple solutions. End means end, right!

There are 550,000 chemicals in the American workplace.
Don't want Cancer? QUIT your job, and stay away from any place of business!
Google "Is your job killing you?"

I could go on!!