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DISCLAIMER: This is a game called SCREW WITH THE CONSERVATIVE. I have absolutely no love for John McCain, and (especially after seeing last night's speeches) I am ecstatic on two fronts: that Barack Obama is our nominee, and that he's running against a fool like McCain.
Want to really irritate conservatives? "Defend" McCain
I was in the same room last night with a "real" conservative while McCain's speech was airing. By "real" conservative, I mean the kind that is very upset that McCain won the R nom because he thinks McCain isn't conservative enough.
The RWer next to me complained about all of McCain's most obvious faults as a candidate, faults that were being magnified more than ever before, right in front of his eyes, on live television.
It was easily the worst speech I've ever seen McCain give, and, to make things worse (for him), his most important so far. I didn't have to ask the RWer what he thought of it.
RWer complained about McCain's rigid stance, his fake laugh and smile, the poor delivery, and the fact that he was reading the teleprompter. RWer was clearly embarrassed.
I decided I'd try to make him feel a little better about McCain (heh heh) because, as a liberal, I hate to see the weak suffer.
"He seems like a nice enough guy, though," I said. RWer simmered at that, and turned up the volume of his criticism.
"But," I continued, "isn't this a huge step up from Bush, the way McCain can speak in complete sentences, and doesn't get confused, or make up words like misunderestimate?"
That dug right into the center of RWer's psyche. This particular RWer had, on many occasions, professed pride in his 2000 and 2004 GW votes, but has fallen silent on the man over the past two years (for reasons that are so obvious, I haven't needed to ask him why).
He lit into McCain again, complaining about what an uneven match this will be and praising Obama's charisma and oratory skills. He derided McCain for being an "old fuddy duddy" and looking like the heartburn he was experiencing was preventing him from fully expressing his disappointment.
"Remember, though, that most Republicans will vote for any candidate with an R next to the name, regardless of how bad that candidate is," I said, trying again to make him feel "better" but all the while twisting the knife because, well, I guess because it's just so damn easy, and because McCain's speech was so bad that this "help the depressed RWer" game was so much more interesting by comparison.
"And at least this one comes across as kind and thoughtful," I continued. "He reminds me of a nice old grandpa, someone you can trust. Bush came across as a pretty untrustworthy guy to me, and Republicans turned out in droves to support him. Seriously, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Republicans vote for Republicans. There's no other way to explain 2004, which should have been a landslide for Kerry."
"Not after the condition Bush has left this country in," RWer argued. "This time, we needed the strongest possible candidate, and we got the weakest. We needed a real conservative, and we got half a liberal instead."
"I guess that's why I kind of like McCain," I said.* "I don't agree with him on a lot of the issues, but he seems to share quite a few of the same liberal positions I have." (Don't ask me what those are. I was parroting criticisms I've heard from the right, that McCain is too liberal.)
RWer was grinding his fingernails into his knuckles and starting darkly at the screen.
"I've heard Obama described as a 'crossover' candidate, too," RWer said, "and in a race between two crossover centrists, who's going to win? The one who puts people to sleep, or the one who comes across as a combination of JFK and Martin Luther King and Lincoln?"
:party:
And there was just nothing more I could do to console him. He was actually more pissed off than before I started.
:spray:
I guess I'm just not very good at helping conservatives.
:rofl:
* please see disclaimer (top of post)
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