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Shame on us Liberals for keeping "attraction secrets" from NewsMax readers

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ck4829 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-08-08 08:09 AM
Original message
Shame on us Liberals for keeping "attraction secrets" from NewsMax readers
Yes, this is an actual ad from NewsMax.



What would be a conservative attraction secret anyway?

I have a couple ideas what they might be:

Go to a place where singles mingle, find a woman... and then abduct her
Persecution - "Baby, if you don't date me, then you hate Christians, America, and Baby Jesus!!11"
Chad Castagana's Secret - Send fake anthrax and threatening letters to crushes
Paul Wolfowitz's Secret - Participate in acts of cronyism
Alberto Gonzales' Secret - Whenever a woman asks you a question about yourself you'd rather not answer, just say "I can't recall!"
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ixion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-08-08 08:11 AM
Response to Original message
1. a fine example of rethug ill-logic
an allegedly "liberal" media would, by definition, not try to withhold ANY information.
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panader0 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-08-08 08:12 AM
Response to Original message
2. Women swoon when Wolfowitz spits on his comb.
It's a sure thing after that....
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Tandalayo_Scheisskopf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-08-08 08:29 AM
Response to Original message
3. And who can forget...
The ne plus ultra of "conservative attraction secrets":

The ever-popular tea room "wide stance".
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SpiralHawk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-08-08 09:18 AM
Response to Reply #3
7. Diapers are another notorious Republicon come on
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C_U_L8R Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-08-08 08:30 AM
Response to Original message
4. They're blaming the media 'cause they can't get dates ?
yup that must be it bwahahahaha
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baby_mouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-08-08 08:47 AM
Response to Original message
5. CONSUME CREOSOTE! IT WILL ANNOY LIBERALS!

Liberals don't want you to throw yourselves into industrial dog-food mincers! Nanny-state bastards!

Well you know what, you're so independent and AMERICAN and goddam FREE that you're going to hurl yourself into the pooch-mince vortex snacking on creosote chowder! AINTCHA?



Frankly, if they buy it, they can have it.
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blondeatlast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-08-08 09:14 AM
Response to Original message
6. Forbidden Liberal Attraction Secret #1. Females are not found in mom's basement.
Edited on Sun Jun-08-08 09:18 AM by blondeatlast
Get your Cheeto'ed ass out of there (but take a shower first).
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Berry Cool Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-08-08 09:29 AM
Response to Original message
8. "Hey, baby, did I ever tell you about the taxes that tax-and-spend liberal Keith Olbermann owes?"
"Yeah, it's true. A guy like that could NEVER afford to take you places and buy you things like I can...'cause see, he believes in taxes, but he owes...and me, yeah, I owe taxes, but I don't believe in paying 'em...I figure I earned it, I should get to keep it...kinda like YOU, baby!"
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Octafish Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-08-08 09:32 AM
Response to Original message
9. Unibrows and Peanut Oil
It makes for a most enchanting chemistry.
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hootinholler Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-08-08 09:34 AM
Response to Original message
10. Shhh! Don't tell them about covalence!
They will lurn all your chemistry!

-Hoot
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