Do you have a republican friend?

I was talking to a liberal friend yesterday...and she is VERY liberal. She also happens to have a VERY republican friend. I told her I respected her ability to maintain such a friendship, but I wondered...how do you have a kinship with someone with such different values? I can't even begin to imagine how I would handle such a relationship.

I learn just not to discuss politics with them. It's really not that hard, there is more to life than politics.

I can handle our relationship, but a good friend? I'm not sure there's more to life than politics either, though. Our values seep through everything we do. I can't pretend that being pro-life, or pro-war. or pro-shrub is a-ok. If one believes that Bush or McShame is the bee's knees, then I don't know where there can be a meeting of the minds...

There seem to be many here who view all Republicans as some kind of evil monsters, but most of them are just regular people trying to live their lives the best they can. Many of them are not only our friends, but our fathers and mothers, our brothers and sisters, people we love, good people, and politics has nothing to do with it. There are people who are Democrats who I wouldn't give the time of day and have no desire to spend any time with them.

I have a good friend of over 30 years now who bleeds Republican. He was raised in Iowa by a father who hated FDR (no middle ground with FDR, either you loved him or hated him) and so that explains his attitude toward politics. Although he is 14 years older than I am he has been like a father to me and he and his wife consider me to be their 4th son. He would do anything for me even though I am a Liberal (as his youngest son also turned out to be) and I would do anything for him. Our relationship is not based on politics, but love. We simply avoid political subjects for the most part and that makes life easier. There is much more to life than politics.

I'm an athiest, and I have religious friends, too. I guess I just regard the contents of a person's mind in the same way as I regard the color of their skin...it's just different from mine, that's all.

We constantly jab at each other.

It's a morning routine: We meet, exchange a few words (he calls me Steve-O-Bama), then he repeats some right-wing talking point, then I crush him with facts.

I look forward to it. He always loses, but he's game. It's almost unfair these days; I feel sorry for him, because they are wrong on every single issue. I can't possibly lose an argument.

Yet he remains surprisingly good-natured. His pea-sized brain just can't process the enormity of the beatdown headed his way in November.

Denial is really powerful.

Most of the time I just ignore him when he starts talking politics. Although he is somewhat "moderate", voted for Perot, didn't vote at all for Bush 2nd term, and is considering voting for Barr this time. He thinks McCain knows swat about the economy and that is the most pressing issue of this election.

If he won't be voting for Obama, I will definitely be "encouraging" him to vote for Bob Barr rather than John McCain.

We usually don't discuss politics to avoid arguments. Our 3 grown kids are all Democrats. :)

since my two grown daughters are both Democrats too!

Just out of curiosity, did he abstain from voting in 2004?

He said he couldn't vote for Bush again and stayed home.

and interests and talk about that.

that lives in Washington and works for various Republicans. We discuss politics all the time too. It's all we discuss really.

He's so stereotypically Republican (mustache-twirling evil actually) it's funny. He's completely honest about why he's Republican though. He hates poor people, hates hippies (which apparently includes people who eat organic food), is a misogynist, only cares about his own ambition, wants to be rich, loves oilmen, doesn't care about pollution, and doesn't believe in the concept of love.

He just pays lip service to a lot of Republican values though. He really is PRO-abortion since it means "less poor people", he's against the Iraq war because it's a waste of money and we're not getting any oil out of it, and he is pro-illegal immigration because it provides "cheap labor".

I don't know how we make it work. Maybe it's because he hates Bush so much he voted for Kerry in 04. And there's the honesty I guess. As long as he admits that he's cartoonishly evil I can deal with him.

Why do you want to be friends with someone so hateful? I don't get it. :shrug:

I've known him for 10 years. Also, if he's one thing, he's very loyal and accommodating as a friend. Besides his knowledge of politics is rare among my other friends where mere mention of the the subject will make their eyes glaze over.

Its easy to dislike a label - its harder when you meet real people with similar values that just think how to achieve those values differ.

thus, I cannot be arsed to go out and gather more of them into my social circle.

My best friend is a conservative Republican and a devout Southern Baptist. I'm a liberal Democrat and not a devout anything. We just don't talk about politics or religion. (There are other things in life besides politics and religion, after all.) Of course it probably helps that for about 20 years of our friendship we haven't lived within 100 miles of each other. Strange to say, but I think it may have been more difficult to remain such close friends if we lived closer to each other, especially during these past 7.5 years.

Our relationship is based other things than politics. We have a mutual admiration for each other and, when we disagree, our arguments are good-natured and fought with mutual respect for the other person's opinions, no matter how different they are from our own.

Plus, remember, not all Republicans are Neo-Cons. These days there are many areas where an old-fashioned Republican and a Democrat can agree.

I'd chop their heads off and eat them!

and the Martha Stewart recipe. Does basil go well with repuke?:)

All my friends are either liberal, Democrats or apathetic to politics.

although...apathetic? That kinda makes me want to scream. How can anyone not care one way or the other what is going on? That's almost more infuriating than being republican, don't you think?

They hold some opinions, but mostly don't know what the hell is going on. I try to get 'em registered to vote, but they won't do it.

I just realized that I do not have one single Republican friend! Is that possible?

a hundred times, yes!!!! To support Bush and friends, NOW, is to be (not to be unkind) retarded. OK, I guess that is unkind. Guess that's why I have no friends "across the aisle".:-)

The way to achieve these values through government differs but our values are pretty much the same. I've even got some republican friends who are a heck of a lot smarter and better informed on history and economics than I am.

I don't see why it would be a problem. We share all of the same values, they are just a little confused and stampeded. I'm working on them. If we had a party that advocated strongly for the have nots, a New Deal Democratic party, I would bring them ALL over in less than a week. I talk socialism to them and they say "if the Democratic party agreed with you, I'd switch." Most of them are not so much voting for the Republicans as they are voting against liberalism, and it is not the ideas of the political left they oppose, it is modernism, gentrification and suburbanization.

Of course, everything I am saying here is seen as heresy by the relative handful of people who control the narrative on what passes for the left in this country.

Some are black...

Oy!

It's like Paula Poundstone talking about gay republicans..."we disapprove of our own lifestyles...we beat ourselves up in parking lots".
:rofl:

"just to say hello" is one thing, but a real friend? Nope.

I haven't anything in-common with Republicans

the wife only thinks she's a republican, and the husband is libertarian on enough issues that we have some common ground. He's basically former military/retired law enforcement and a gun nut, so he thinks only conservatives would be on his side on his issues. He has never cared for Bush, and he has no problem with gay marriage, abortion, and some other major issues. I did have to set him straight about sending me political emails 4 years ago, however. I started doing "reply-all" with rebuttals to his entire mailing list, AND I would send a second email of my choice to everyone as a bonus. That cured him of sending me that shit quick. :evilgrin:

I really don't understand how he can be a Republican. I met them on vacation in Cozumel about 6 years ago. He is extremely gracious and friendly, as is his wife. He loves the Mexican culture and has friends on the island from all economic levels. We have been invited to dinner at homes with dirt floors and homes with custom tile and woodwork throughout. Busboys and restaurant owners all greet them with hugs and kisses wherever I go with them. He takes a lot of effort to speak to people in broken Spanish. I have seen no signs of racism or classism. He has issues with illegal immigration but thinks it should be much easier to visit or immigrate legally, and he has a great deal of respect for the hard workers here and in Mexico. I knew all of this about him before we ever had our first political discussion, so I was actually floored by it. By then I liked so many other things about him that I didn't want to write him off.

Believe it or not but Republicans are actually other human beings. Some are assholes and some are nice.

And also, there's this nice thing we've mastered called 'not talking about politics all the time.'

messes started to pile up. I removed him from my life.

have nothing to do with politics.

but I can't imagine not being able to talk with my buds about the most important issues facing us today.

(aside) When you live in a smallish community you learn to get along. Not go along, but get along. There are many local things we agree on. I just don't see relationships as one-dimensional or unilateral.

:hi:

(That's an understatement.) I don't respect those people, and it just raises my blood pressure to be around them. There are plenty of great progressive, intelligent, funny people here in Portland so I don't feel like I should waste my time with people who are either stupid or greedy (and why else would you be a Republican?).

I do have one sort of lingering friend from 8th grade. We used to argue about that shithead Reagan (she still likes him and even went to see his stupid library -- Ugh.) I don't see her very much or communicate with her very much, truth be told. She lives in another state, thank goodness.

You just made my night. Your response is so spot on. Why on earth waste time with people who are so ignorant on the issues? I love my dear republican father, but whenever we talk on the phone, I am secretly kicking my coffee table...not to mention biting my tongue ( I think it is damn near ready to fall off)!

'when I was your age, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, only people over 50 deserve the good things in life' speeches.

It makes me effin crazy.

dear old dad. He said we needed to go back the days when only white land owners voted. They didn't have these kinds of problems electing the wrong people back then (?). This sage advice from a white land owner who voted for Bush TWICE!:eyes:

:hi:

is a terrible thing to waste. Or, it's a shame to waste a terrible closed mind (apologies to Dan Quayle).:hi:

there are moral choices to be made in the voting booth. I can't get on board with someone who wants to deny gays the right to marry, votes to kick people off health insurance, supports an immora and unjust war that is tearing so many apart--I just can't ignore those things in a relationship with someone, even my family members. I fully admit to cooling it with someone when I find out they are a repub, family inlcuded.

but barely.

If you've made it this far...

anybody still standing by this party while they dismantle the constitution is a traitor. Fuck them.

Another smile on my face. :yourock:

The values aren't always different, believe it or not. When your friend is a republican, you focus on the values that you share in common.

It's possible when you are aware that political parties are artificial constructs that exist to manipulate various beliefs. People are more authentic than parties.

It also helps when you were brought up to leave two subjects out of civilized conversation: religion and politics. Or, to discuss those topics respectfully without trying to prove somebody wrong, or change their mind.

Finally, while I'm not a christian, I take the "judge not lest ye be judged" teaching seriously. I think it's a universal truth that everyone should adhere to. When I know my friend is wrong, I may casually offer another perspective, but I don't browbeat her or judge her. I know I've been wrong, too, and I trust that we're both working to move forward from where ever we happen to be.

When you live in republican strongholds, as I have for my entire adult life, you have republican friends or you don't have many friends.

Edited to add:

To be honest, I'm more tolerant and respectful of my republican, 3rd party, and independent friends and family than I am of my fellow Democrats. I think Democrats ought to know better, and I guess I hold them to a higher standard. I have less patience with them, that's for sure.

if I had a friendship in which politics wasn't discussed, it wouldn't be much of a friendship. That is a huge topic of talk amongst my friends. I can't imagine removing that from the equation. ... I know other people are able to do so, though.

Most of us don't have just one group of mutual friends.

There's the group I work with, and socialize with on the side. There's the group I grew up with, and stay in contact with over the years. There's a few groups based on social interests and hobbies. There are my neighbors. Out of all of those groups, there may or may not be like-minded people politically. If there are, we talk politics, and may get together for various activities.

Finally there are organized political groups, where we come together BECAUSE of the politics.

I can find friends in each group.

No Republicans would probably mean no friends at all. Politics to me is very unimportant when compared to my friendships. Even my most rabidly conservative friend has done more for me than anyone who has begged for my vote. If I lose everything tommorow morning, I could be bunking with one of my Republican friends tommorow night with no trouble at all. To have even a Democratic government provide me with a place to stay would involve leaping through hoops (both the regular and flaming kind), red tape and maybe, next week I would have some place to stay.

To paraphrase Jake Spoon from Lonesome Dove, "I rather depend on my friends than a bunch of strangers."

Check out the Texas forum! It's the most active of the state forums! Rick Noriega is only 4 points behind Cornyn in polling. There are lots of us here in Texas, though we not not be the majority yet!

But regardless, I do not vett my friends by political party any more than I would vett them by race. Friends, by virtue of the fact that they are my friends, I hold in high regard. Politicians, regardless of party, I view with disdain and a few with outright contempt.

I could not be friends with people who feel that gays do not deserve the right to have every right I have, or think that their religion should affect the laws in this country, or that they should be able to make my health decisions for me, or think that people are poor deserve to be, etc. So basically my values are what I screen upon. Which is why I posted in this thread about the friend who I have enough in common with that party doesn't matter. Unfortunately, that is rare from what I have found, as most Republicans would offend me far too often with their type of values.

I've been known to cut a first date short due to a racist joke... I have plenty of liberal friends who I share values with, so I don't feel I am missing anything by not excusing the issues I oppose them on.

that when someone is closed minded on anything, it is him, not his party that is at fault. That person could just as easily be a Democrat or Green and he would still be who he is. My friends do not have to be pro-choice. They just have to allow me to be pro-choice.

I don't impose my beliefs on them. Thier "best interests" may be different from mine. Our common interests trump those anyway.

He was a nice enough guy, didn't seem at all to be self-loathing.

Then again, we didn't last that long.

I do have some Republican neighbors/friends--although I only know that they're Republican because my kids tell me so. I've never been one for talking politics with anybody I disagree with; life's too short for unnecessary unpleasantness.

It's nice to see so many positive statements about Republicans here, after spending the last several years reading so many personal stories about friendships broken, families estranged, etc. Maybe once the horrible Bush years are over, relationships between people who identify strongly with their particular political parties can go back to a low simmer. I don't think we'll all be holding hands singing "God Bless America"--we'll still disagree about what's right, and what's the right way to go about doing it--but I do think that disagreements are going to become less virulent once this incredibly polarizing administration is gone.

I am so tired of the "us against them" mentality that has taken over our country (thanks in no small part to BUSHCO). They took a country that was united and divided it. But as one great uniter has said..."YES WE CAN"!! I look forward to that day.:hug:

i get ridiculous emails from them. the "please, for the sake of family sanity, don't email me this stuff" messages back to them never work. when i arrive at their homes for lengthy stays, i'm typically greeted with "welcome home, commie" or something like that.

Normally, I simply avoid all political conversations with my hubby's family. Otherwise, bad things can happen, especially if anyone has been drinking.

It's interesting to me, that every single one of them either receives government aid, or have children that do.

What's even more interesting is that I am the only person they can depend on whenever they need help. I know
that because they have all told me so.

I just parted ways with close Republican friend. He is a hardline Republican and Bushies. He's also a fundamentalist Christian. He hates poor people despite that fact he actually poor and lives in his mother's attic. He blames everything on Democrats and watches Fox News constantly for his source of news. He is arrogant and doesn't care anyone that not directly related to him except on issues/people that goes against what the church/Republican views. He blames all US/world problems on the Democrats and believe the Iraq war was justified. He hates hippies, environmentalist, vegetarians, immigrants, Muslims, the poor, animal activist, and probably a lot more groups.

When he was around, I try to keep the topic off from politics, religion, immigration, economy, and a whole range of issues. We normally talk about sports, entertainment, work, and about other friends/acquaintances. When those forbidden topics do arise, we usually end up arguing with one another.

Why do you ask do I hang around with a person like this? It's basically because I was friends with him since Freshman year of high school. He was the only person from that era I hung around with. Also his immediate family member are nice people, despite the fact that they too blames democrats for everything. It hard for me to let old friends go. In my mind, I thought there was a chance I could slowly change his view of the world, but now I can see there is no hope in that.

I recently decided (1 1/2 months ago) not to be his friend anymore. He gotten more bitter than usual and started with racial/derogative talk. Last month, he told me that he cannot voted for Obama on the shear point that he is black and therefore cannot be trusted. This is mild compare to his rants about immigrants and other religions. I cannot associate myself with this person anymore. I'm sad that our 10 year friendship come to an end, but it for the best. My former friend is the opposite of everything that I am and believe and if I continues to hang around a person like this than I'm a hypocrite to my own beliefs and values as a person.

Just to let you know, I do have a few other Republican friends, but they are nothing like this and much more tolerable.

A republican friend is one thing, but an out and out racist? Adios!
Welcome to DU, BTW!:hi:

Moderates. Maybe a little to the Liberal side. However, when visiting them a couple of weeks ago, I found them (post-911) to be kool-aid drinkin', gung-ho war cheerin' wingers.

So, we talked about sports and other things while sitting by the pool in their backyard. Just happens their house is in the flight path of Langley Air Force Base. And while they were nowhere to be found on the morning of September 11, 2001 when airliners were being hijacked all over the joint to the north, they were flying training sorties that evening. I had not had the opportunity to see the new F-22 Raptors flying but, as we talked, two roared overhead in formation heading in the direction of the airfield. My buddy got excited and squealed "To me, that's the sound of freedom!".

The only thing left wanting from his delight was a gorilla-like chest pounding.

Well, that's not fair. None I will discuss politics with. They have nothing to say to me at this point, and I'm NOT going to be polite

my husband's brother is not only a member of a union, he's a republican and a racist. I am not sure how to deal with him without calling him a jackass to his face. Subtlety is not my forte.

after the disaster that is the B*sh administration is either stupid or insane--not my kind of person.

I can tolerate the ashamed and quietly pissed-off kind of Republican. We can work with them.

He's actually campaigning to be elected state representative of a Democratic seat as I write. But he voted for Kerry, and is more of a Lincoln republican than anything resembling today's repuke party. I know enough of American and British politics to know that having unopposed parties is bad - should the Democrats win big in November, they'll need a proper opposition party. One of the major disasters of the last 8 years (or even more) has beent hat the Democrats have refused to be a proper opposition party. Instead, they've just rolled over and shown their bellies whenever they've disagreed with the repukes. And the repukes themselves! They've certainly not had a respectful relationship with the Democrats - or to the Constitution. So I think I'd rather have him, who loves the Constitution, run the Republican party, than those in charge right now.