These gay Republicans are on my last nerve

I will admit, I have not always lived my life openly. Even now I could be criticised for giving the non answer, answer when I am asked if I am gay. But Christ Jesus on a shamrock, these GOP politicians who run around dissing gays and then have affairs with sweet young boys are on my last nerve. It is one thing to be gay and keep quiet about it. Even if being public might make people think better of gays over all. But it is quite another to ride to power on the wings of homohatred and all the while playing with boytoys. What would posses one to become an anti sex crusader, AG of Alabama when one knew he was gay? It isn't like there isn't other crime in Alabama. Surely this man could have found some other signature cause. And now, we might see the governor of MO outed by CNN. Unflipping believable. As for me, I have decided my era of non answers is over. Next year, when a student asks, and I know one will, I am just going to say yes and move on. Who knows, I might get to be AG of Alabama.

Are they really stupid and greedy enough to think that they won't eventually get thrown under the bus?

In college I took on many liberal causes before I took on gay rights, and even then used the 'straight but not narrow' buttons. I was terrified of associating myself with gayness at all.

to confuse my detractors. It almost killed me

I honestly felt the sky would fall if people found out. To my surprise, no one appears to have a problem. It is good to be in this place.

I thought that I was a straight woman with many lesbian friends who was militantly pro-gay. Then I fell deeply in love for the first time in my life and the scales fell from my eyes.

Imagine growing up in a community so oppressive that a gay person could not even imagine that they were gay. That was me.

and the date was a total disaster with his even being asked if he was gay. The match maker then set him up with a guy and there was total chemistry. It really is amazing what we go through just to be us. I am glad you figured stuff out in the end.

I started reading books about all these other women who were in longtime straight relationships and didn't know that they were lesbians until middle age.

It's not that I changed or developed a preference for women. That attraction was always there. I always responded to pictures of sexy women, for instance. I just didn't realize that this meant I was gay. I thought it was normal for straight women to be more attracted to other women than to men - I really did. And I think that millions of other women are just the same.

The concept of being gay as an identity is simply destroyed in many young women. It's rooted out and replaced with the Cinderella myth. I'm openly gay now and if my example can help one young woman recognize and embrace her identity earlier in life it will all have been worth it.

In fact, it's all been worth it anyway. I'm having a beautiful life!

so I really couldn't deny being gay. I admit that it is hard for me to even imagine being with a woman that way. I am glad you are having a beautiful life now though.

I remember having crushes on boys when i was in 1st grade. So its so confusing to me when people say they didn't figure it out till they were older. I can't imagine the supression someone must be going through to get to that place. I have a friend who didn't figure out she was a lesbian till she divoreced her husband and was 30. But she did say in hindsight, maybe she always knew. I think she was just trying to make it work with men for so long, that she really didn't know why things never felt right until she was finally with a girl. Blows my mind, but i guess i grew up were my feelings were considered normal.

With men it is readily apparent what works and what doesn't. But for women I am not sure it really is as apparent in at least some cases. I admit, I am pretty far on the gay side of the spectrum so for me, women just weren't going to cut it in that regard. But I can see how someone might really not know.

Girls and women are told what we're supposed to want from a very early age - the Cinderella story. When you're told over and over that you will want the handsome prince, and need the handsome prince, and will be a failure if you don't get the handsome prince, then it sort of takes over your feelings.

The other issue is that perhaps women's sexual feelings are more diffuse. I don't know for sure.

I had one who was forced to come out to all of her friends after she finally realized where her heart lay and was honest with herself. I will never forget how furious I was that they did that to her. She wasn't the only one they hurt, either.

Fear makes people do crazy things. Fear of drowning or suffocation while being waterboarded will cause a person to say anything to make this horrible feeling stop. From my reading of books such as Mel White's "Stranger at the Gate" and seeing documentaries such as "The Bible Tells Me So," the fear of being perceived as anything less than a real man or a real woman is incredible, particularly in some families and some areas of the country (and yes, Alabama, we're all looking at you). And to be as sure as possible that no one suspects or hangs that fearsome label on a person, the overcompensation must be as relentless and in equal proportion to the fear.

No other answer needed.

Anyone who wants to be AG in Alabama would have to be.

:hi:

Here, from Wikipedia:

In Sigmund Freud's psychoanalytic theory, reaction formation is a defense mechanism in which anxiety-producing or unacceptable emotions are replaced by their direct opposites.<1>

An example of Freud's theory is when a "heterosexual" individual supports and maintains strong "homophobic" beliefs as a way to cover-up their deep-seated and often untouched homosexual desires. A reaction formation is used to balance the ego-id-superego emotion of this "homosexual" living as a "heterosexual" in order to relieve the individual's anxiety.<2>

Read more here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reaction_formation



And I totally sympathize with your anger and frustration...it's maddening.

I did my best to steer clear. I would enforce rules equally, refuse to discuss my personal life, and that was that. It never occured to me to play with fire that way.

an obsession with opposites with Bush-Rove-Republicans.

It seems that they must always do the exact opposite of what they say. Like the "war on terror" which is actually creating terror. It's such a counter-intuitive ploy that it's actually been very successful until a year or two ago.

http://www.planetout.com/news/history/archive/20000103.html

Who is Roy Cohn?
by David Bianco


Roy Cohn, a ruthless, ambitious, and unethical attorney, was the right-hand man of the infamous Sen. Joseph McCarthy. He was also a closeted gay Jew who used his power against other Jews and gays.

Born in New York in 1927, Cohn graduated from Columbia Law School at 20, passed the bar at 21, and became the youngest assistant U.S. attorney. The case that launched his career was the 1951 trial of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, accused of leaking atomic secrets to the Soviets. Cohn was one of four attorneys who successfully prosecuted them for treason, but it was he alone who convinced the judge, an old family friend, to impose the death penalty.

In January 1953, McCarthy chose Cohn over Robert Kennedy as chief counsel to the Senate Subcommittee on Investigations. For the next 18 months, Cohn's vicious and single-minded ferreting out of suspected Communists and homosexuals in the government made his name a household word.

<snip>

Over the next 30 years, Cohn built a high-powered law career in New York. Between 1963 and 1971, however, he was indicted three times for crimes such as perjury and witness tampering. Cohn was acquitted in each case, but in the 1980s, further allegations of unethical conduct finally led to disbarment, just weeks before he died of AIDS on August 2, 1986.

Though he himself had been the target of homophobia, to his dying day Cohn refused to acknowledge being gay or that he had AIDS, claiming he was suffering from liver cancer. One of Cohn's final campaigns was lobbying against New York City's gay rights ordinance.

more at link

you were replying to the OP but to elablorate on the opposites theme - I think it's a classic Rovian tactic (probably stolen from Machiavelli). It isn't a gay or straight thing (it applies to RWers of both persuasions).

The basic idea is that RWers take their perceived weakness and project the opposite. So a chickenhawk will project themselves as a patriot, a spender will project themselves as a fiscal conservative etc etc.

On edit: I don't necessarily mean all RWers or conservatives are like this but anecdotal evidence suggests it's fairly common.

"It isn't a gay or straight thing..." That's the sum of it. With this "RoyCohn" designation I refer to a tiny but vicious subset who feel they must, to retain their power, attack anyone they perceive as a threat to their carefully (?) honed image. J.Edgar Hoover and Roy Cohn are the best historical icons examples of this particular form of misanthropy.

It deeply offends me that the sickness of these actors is used to smear all those with same-sex orientation. THE latter are "normal." RoyCohns are NOT. They are dangerous psychopaths.

Mark Foley and Larry Craig were getting threadbare( although Craig and Vitter introducing a constitutional amendment was fun) This is news to me abot MO. got a link? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah~!

but strange they'll ask ... about your teacher's bedroom preferences...I would never...

I know part of it my age, my being single, and my being sponser of the gay straight alliance but well before my being sponser of that group I have been directly asked by students. I would have never dreamed of asking either but kids today do.

But when I was a kid - and I don't know if these examples were true or not since they were said by the same small-brained imbeciles on the playground that claimed if you don't bounce up and down right while having sex, the woman could die - things like wearing an earring in the right ear only or having a bandanna hanging out of a certain pocket were supposed to indicate someone was gay. The way things are going, saying something like, "I'm a pro-family conservative," is going to become the latest code - either for real or as an example of the latest schoolyard thinking.

TlalocW

I guess that will replace Are you a friend of Dorthy?

hearing about the ear-ring "code" when I was a kid. It's funny how quaint that seems now!

Out gay republicans!

One of my work friends is gay and out, yet he remains a republican! WTF?

He's a good person, and has been a good friend to me for years, but wow! can we not talk about politics for the most part.

But when we discuss local politics, and get down to how we would like to help the City, he describes systems he has in mind that are SOCIALIZED MEDICINE and other very lefty things...(sigh) Yet he votes straight repub tickets every time.

I'm working on him, but I think he has a lot invested in being on the right.

Repukes work against each and every one of these groups - hard for me to see why any of these would ever vote repuke.

Hell, I have a hard time figuring out why ANYONE would vote repuke.

He's from the midwest, kind of a cowboy thing going on, very much an authoritarian thing. I think he's got the Democrats are weak thing ingrained in him. That's what I mean by has a lot vested in it.

He does a lot of good in his community, mentors kids, what have you. If he really thought about it he'd realize he's a Democrat, I think...I'm working on him... ;-)

I am not at the stage where I can come out to everyone. Hopefully soon.

Best to you, friend.

:hug:

People can be wonderful. They can also be jerks. It's a great way to find out how many of each you have in your life, IMHO.

and you are the best judge of that. I wish you luck when you do.

I am out as bi to everyone except my family, and it will stay that way if I have any say in it. They are far too fundie and homophobic to even deal with it. Hell, I've never told family any of my business--they don't even know about my straight relationships much less my gay ones.

It's why I try not to judge closeted people, as long as they're not the type that is actively harming LGBT people from inside the closet. Everyone has their reasons.

on others. But they still suck.

You, OTOH, rock! Good for you for being a positive role model for your students. :applause:

:shrug: It's a weird phenom.

In hopes of becoming the VP nominee. Sad.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/uselection2008/johnmccain/2247571/John-McCain's-would-be-VP-Charlie-Crist-to-marry-after-being-dogged-by-gay-rumours.html

was right after Tianimen Square, she was here on a student visa and was afraid she would have to go back. I knew I wasn't going to get married so it seemed ideal. Then Bush relented and let them stay so I didn't have to marry her. I would have never married soley for career advancement.

...restaurant/bar with a woman. They were hanging and groping all over each other. I've often wondered if he was putting on a very public performance, in order to "show" he liked women?

Or perhaps Charlie swings both ways?

I mean really what are we going to do? I don't like the idea of snooping into someone else's private business even if the Rethugs do.

I find it just plain odious.

Don

It bascially took me 30 years to get to the point where I am now essentially out to everyone.

I agree with you about the sheer disgusting hypocrisy of gay Republicans. This is when outing is not only acceptable, but essential. These disgusting politicians forfeit any private lives when they preach anti-gay bigotry in public, but are having affairs with young men in private.

Selfishness and a pathological lack of empathy. Nothing else could explain it.

:hug:

:thumbsup:

I am a woman, happily married to a man. I generally don't refer to myself as heterosexual because I dislike the labels others force us to place on ourselves but by definition, I am heterosexual. But I believe that we should all work for equality for all regardless of our sexual preferences. I wrote an article about one of the most important relationships in my life. My uncle was gay. His love and guidance were essential in my upbringing. If you want to read my story it's here:

http://www.laprogressive.com/2008/05/24/the-love-of-a-gay-man/

But for those of you who are/were reluctant to come out, I say do what you need to do in your own time. I witnessed how hard it can be and understand why you might not want to live openly. Let's hope that the new law in California will not be overturned in November and will spread to all of the other states.

Sharon

Your uncle would be so proud of you. Your talent and compassion are amazing.

thank you for those kind words. Whenever anyone mentions my uncle, it feels like he's a little bit alive again. thank you

Guilty issued needing "worked out" I guess. Maybe "taken out" on others, really.

Isn't that a Blunt? Oh how delicious! And I admit, hypocrites get on my nerve too!

Irreverently...is not admiting you are gay sort of like being a bald man with a comb over or an 80 year old woman with jet black hair?

and now has a girlfriend.

seriously.

I just don't understand it.

I remember the day when, during our Macbeth unit, a student asked me if Shakespeare was gay or not. I said that there was really no way of knowing and that, since we were focusing on the text, his sexuality didn't matter. That started the worst malestrom of hatred I've ever seen. Some of the boys went crazy with hate about how horrible and evil gays were in their minds. I was shocked and horrified (and I went to a Christian college and had seen all kinds of crazy homophobic behavior that hurt my friends), so I went on the attack and told them that hate speech wasn't allowed in my classroom or they'd get detentions (they hated my detentions).

I was shaking by the end of the period and was so worried for anyone in there who was in the closet or still trying to figure out who they were. I thought I'd seen it all, but I'll never forget that day. It showed me how some young men can attack others, their hatred was so strong. May that never, ever happen to you. You are a brave soul for taking this stand, and I'm proud to know you here. If it's okay, I'd like to add you to my prayer list so I can pray that your administration will support you, your students will continue to love and respect you, and the parents will keep their homophobia to themselves.

I hope that was a long time ago. Honestly, I think they will be OK. I am not claiming that no one will be upset but I think it matters to fewer and fewer people as time goes on. I mean, they all think I am gay now, the difference will be pretty slight.

One of the scariest days I had in that hellhole of a high school. They wanted to bring it up again the next day, but I told them they couldn't get out of work by talking about it, that I'd made my position clear, and that I wasn't allowing hate speech. *shudder* It was awful.

In college, the homophobia I directly observed was all of the "would you let a lesbian be your roommate" variety (single sex dorms at our Christian college--interesting dilemma). I didn't find out until my last year there that a couple of my good male friends had been raped in their dorms because, hey, the gay guy likes it, right? Horrifying. The more I talked with my gay and lesbian friends there, the more disgusted and horrified I was by what supposedly good people thought was okay. Then, I started teaching, and I was surprised at the fear and hatred that would sometimes slip out in a class discussion. Usually, it was just small comments and such, and I'd try to difuse them and move on, but that day, it went wildly out of control, and I saw for a brief moment in the eyes of my students what my friends and students saw.

You know, you made me smile in remembering that several of my students thought I was having an affair with a colleague. I was newly married, and there was no way we were anything but friends, but the girls (Catholic girls school) were convinced of it so much that I had to take a few aside and tell them otherwise. The kids think up the darndest things sometimes.

I can't very well berate them for that. I remember some truely scary days in school as a student. Middle school was pure hell to be honest. I hope that my presence helps some kid but honestly the kids who are out are the ones who deserve the kudos. Being an out student still takes guts in my mind.

I'm so proud of one of my friend's daughters. She's a lot braver than most would be in the same situation.

the head of the GSA I sponsered was the first openly gay kid at that high school. He was a tough kid.