Andy Borowitz: Bush Strips Libby of Nickname

Just hours after Vice President Dick Cheney’s former chief of staff I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby was found guilty in his trial relating to the CIA leak scandal, Mr. Libby suffered another setback as President George W. Bush officially stripped him of his nickname in a somber White House ceremony.

“Scooter Libby, you are Scooter Libby no more,” Mr. Bush declared, to the applause of Mr. Cheney and top White House aides. “You are now just plain old I. Lewis Libby.”

Mr. Bush told reporters that he decided to strip Mr. Libby of his nickname because “I hardly knew the man.”

Referring to Mr. Libby’s trial, Mr. Bush said, “Just like Lewis Libby can’t remember anything he did in the five years he worked here, I can’t remember him working here at all.”

For his part, Mr. Libby was philosophical about being convicted on four out of five counts in his perjury trial, telling reporters, “One out of five ain’t bad.”

“This verdict means that I was telling the truth twenty percent of the time,” Mr. Libby said. “That’s still way above average for this administration.” http://www.borowitzreport.com

He stopped calling Ken Lay, Kenny Boy real quick.

:P

edit: Who will be voted off the Ellipse next week? Tune in to Survivor: The White House!

Didn't realize it was a satircal piece.

but, it still made me sick to read it.

Wonder if he's going to squeel now?