A word or two about breast cancer...and the victims:

Contrary1

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri Aug-08-08 05:16 PM
Original message

A word or two about breast cancer...and the victims:

Edited on Fri Aug-08-08 05:16 PM by Contrary1

I had a long post all ready to send, but when I read it over, it just didn't quite convey what I wanted it to.

It all boils down to this:

I am a 10 year breast cancer veteran. I don't like to use the word "survivor", because in many ways, I haven't.

I gave my husband permission to have an affair.

That's it.

Printer Friendly | Permalink | | Top

Bluebear

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri Aug-08-08 05:17 PM
Response to Original message

1. I'm glad you're with us. And I would not have taken that permission.

I don't know if he did....it doesn't matter, but anyhow he married YOU and you are still you. If that makes sense. :hug:

Printer Friendly | Permalink | | Top

renate

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri Aug-08-08 05:25 PM
Response to Original message

2. elizabeth didn't give john that permission

At least, as far as we know--I've read that she "found out" about it, so I assume she wasn't as okay with her husband's affair as you were.

If knowing that your husband wasn't feeling sexually (or otherwise) deprived lowered your own stress levels, I'm happy for you--but what John did almost certainly had the opposite effect on Elizabeth.

(I won't enquire about why you don't want to use the word "survivor"--10 years is a long time--but I'm glad you're still here.)

Printer Friendly | Permalink | | Top

Kali

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri Aug-08-08 06:05 PM
Response to Original message

3. I had kind of wondered about that angle too.

People are more varied than we think. You have my admiration and wishes for continued life.

Printer Friendly | Permalink | | Top

Lisa0825

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri Aug-08-08 06:06 PM
Response to Reply #3

4. That was one of my first thoughts, actually.

But even if they had that kind of agreement, the general public would not take that much better than they would an affair, so I would expect it t be kept secret. For Elizabeth's sake, I hope it was an agreement, rather than a betrayal.

Printer Friendly | Permalink | | Top

kiranon

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri Aug-08-08 06:07 PM
Response to Original message

5. Breast cancer survivor and no one is deprived in this home.

Do not want this misconception of breast cancer to continue. Having breast cancer does not mean that a person is no longer sexual or attractive or loving. John would have strayed breast cancer or not. And, probably has in the past. Infidelity is rarely a one time thing. It's up to the people in the marriage to define what is ok for them and leave judgment for the hereafter IMHO.

Printer Friendly | Permalink | | Top

DU AdBot (1000+ posts)

Tue May 07th 2024, 08:34 AM
Response to Original message

Advertisements [?]

Top

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators

Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.