in praise of boys

I wasn't especially a "boy's boy" growing up. I was bookish, not especially gifted athletically, and thought a lot of my contemporaries unfortunate in their tendencies toward armpit farts.

Now I'm the dad of a boy's boy and the teacher of many boys both "typical" and less so. I teach girls too, of course, but since I'm in special education, my caseloads tend to be boy-heavy - my inclusion class this year has six girls and eleven boys. I've taught kids like J (at the fundie school) who at 8 years old used his prayer time to thank God for Yu-Gi-Oh! and A who, in the eighth grade in the middle of a downtown Atlanta neighborhood deeply unfriendly to gays, could no more hide his true self than I can take wing and fly, much as he denied it when taunted.

I'm supposed to lead a boys' reading club at school this year - spent a lot of the summer reading kidlit and already have a good potential list of participants. My rowdiest, D, wants to hang with me at the bus line. He wants approval. A boy needs a boy - I'm going to put him in that reading group come hell, high water or his tendency to tapdance on my last nerve.

Boys can be assholes. They won't write, laugh at inappropriate parts of books, talk out of turn and generally act the fool. God love 'em.

i've got 5 total, 3 sons 2 grandsons. they're pretty great actually.

who have a total of six boys and one girl of their own. They've all turned out to be pretty neat people. :hi:

It's clear you really care about your charges.

Being a girly-girl type myself.

But boys... now, my immediate experience hasn't been with the "boy's boys" you mention. But for me, little boys are just about the sweetest things. No one but no one loves his mommy like a little boy, you know?

And boys tend to be a whole lot more - just upfront. They're not so good at all those tricky emotional games. It's all right there.

So yeah, God love 'em!

One of my fifth graders this year, though, wrote a story last year about a werewolf eating the neighborhood, and his fourth grade teacher evidently freaked a little bit. I told him at "meet the teacher night" that he could write about werewolves all he wanted as long as he kept writing. :)

Who knows why they're so attracted to things like that. But so long as they're reading and writing... it's a good thing.

Thanks for your work. I could never teach - not nearly enough patience for that. But I so admire those who do!

Needless to say I can feel A's pain. I do hope your year goes well, you deserve it.

involved A. He was a big kid, so most of the other kids tended not to mess with him too overtly as easy a target as he was otherwise. It finally boiled over one morning and one of my class punks decided he was going to rush the "fag" - A didn't really have any idea how to defend himself but one of those enormous paws made contact and down went the punk while my para and I tried to intervene. Not much was made of A's preferences after that. :D

The President of the GSA at my school was huge and not messed with despite being about as incapable of hiding his gayness as Truman Capote.

Kudos to your GSA prez. :D

but he was a gutsy guy. As a sophomore he was made to go to my school and was the only openly gay kid (the school was in its first year as a freshman/sophomore only school). I would have killed to have a tenth of his courage when I was his age.

I enjoy teaching boys, even the "goofy" ones. I don't care for bullies, though... I understand them, but just don't like them, especially when they really do know better. I suspect it's something in their upbringing that causes them to be cruel to others.

I just keep telling myself, "God isn't finished with them yet...."

Mother of two boys who went through all kinds of "stages" and turned out to become wonderful young men. :)

I had one young man for reading my first year in that school - very smart, but I had to literally drag his ass out of the room a couple of times. He was expelled the following year for nearly killing another kid in class.

That first year, though, he told me that his daddy was getting out of prison and that he wanted to go live with him. I've never seen a child more vulnerable than B was at that point.

Here's to boys!:toast:

Many of the boys have no male influence in their lives and he and his wife (also a teacher) love kids (though they have none of their own).

Blessings on all those like you who care for these young kids. And yes, boys can be assholes or worse but with help and a little guidance they can grow into really kick-ass quality men.

If only they knew how to control themselves, and of course they don't.

They learn only what they're taught.

I was a "tomboy". And often the butt of a lot of harassment for that fact. On the other hand, at home, I ridiculed my younger sister for being a "girly-girl". I got my payback, though. My daughter (now 18) is, and has always been, a girly-girl and in my thirties, I was forced to appreciate a girly-girl. It has been pretty fun, overall. My sister finds it highly amusing.

I remember imagining a home with quiet children, calm children. Hah. Tasmanian devil, more like. :D

I say THANK YOU!! My youngest was lucky enough to have a teacher like you in fifth grade. He was my son's favorite teacher ever. He actually did his thesis on how prepubescent boys learn much differently than girls the same age and how beneficial it is for them to be taught in a different classroom than the girls. He and a counterpart (Specializing in girls that age)have been trying to get an all girls class and an all boys class as well as a coed class going for the fifth grade in that school. He unfortunately has been met with pushback from the parents. It would be so beneficial! THe parents just don't understand I guess. But, he's not giving up on the idea. Right now he teaches a majority of boys class but, every year he tries again.

My son learned so much from this man and I will be eternally grateful for the confidence that he installed in my son. He was on the honor roll in middle school last year. Not a small feat for him as he was 2 years behind his peers when he got to that school. I'm so proud of him and so thankful to the teacher who not only was instrumental to getting him caught up but, taught him to trust himself and his abilities.

It's the teachers who think outside of the box, the ones that won't give up on their students in providing the best possible education, regardless of "conventional wisdom", the ones that continue to make the case and educate the parents as well, that will save the education system. I'm thankful that they are out there fighting the good fight.

I was a tomboy girlie girl, while I liked playing with boys boys, I still liked girlie things too. My mother said the favorite picture of me was of me playing baseball in my frilly pink tutu. I would punch any boy who made fun of my tutu! HA! She says that's the best description of me...play baseball in a tutu. Talk about defying conventional wisdom!

But, I think it went a long way to my readiness to handle anything my boys boys throw at me!

I know some colleagues who would have complete fits if they had an all-boys class. :D Love the tutu story - I have a mental image of Peppermint Patty in a dress...

It's only for pre-pubescent kids (fifth grade in this case) and there's a choice. There would also be 2 co-ed classes for those that would benefit from that, as well as those who don't want their kids in a single gender classroom. It's just another option for those who'd benefit from that, like my son.

This particular teacher used different teaching methods for boys, like allowing them to move around while learning. He had these floor seats that allowed the boys to rock or wiggle while sitting on the floor, stuff like that. Anyway, my son thrived in his enviornment, but, he's also ADHD, so, the motion allowed him to concentrate more effectively. In his middle school, they allow him to fiddle. It's actually quite remarkable to them that he fiddles, yet, always knows his material and has been on the honor rollfor the first time. Sometimes they have to bring back on task, but, the fiddling seems to keep him involved.

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But, the thing is, I learned how to pitch and started running and painting and how to have poetryslams at the dinner table 'way before they were cool because of those two boys.

To boys!

:toast:

the adoption process - Ms Uly especially so, given the torment her brothers subjected her to when they were young. Now neither of us can imagine not having a boy. My armpit farts still need work, though. :) :toast:

Boys = no hysteria over wrinkled t-shirts pulled warm from the back of the car. God, that was so great. We went out for a whole month once and those were my favorite 30 days in a row, ever.

lol



I hope you guys have all of that. :hug:

Gotta work on Mommy a little before we're out for a month, though. :D

Good on you for getting your boys out like that. Great pic, too.

My own family had never done camping so I was a virgin. The only campgrounds I knew were from Yogi Bear cartoons. :shrug:

But, he got me to Big Sur for just a few days and I was hooked. After that, ooooohhhwwwweeeeee -- that's what I worked for all year. Not the mortgage, not Christmas but those great gritty weeks in the summer outdoors. It was like a whole 'nother world just opened up and we could do it on practically nothing -- which was good because that's what we had to spend.

And, it's sad for me to see people overlook the deeply sensitive they can be - even the boy's boys. I love them at every age.

It's an interesting age, a lot of transition going on with most kids. I read a book this summer, Boy Writers by Ralph Fletcher. He talks about the "boy code" which tells many boys that they don't talk with others about their feelings. Too true, but yeah, you know it's in there.

It's a privilege to find out what's in there.

I'm a mom of 2 grown sons, the grandmother of one grandboy, and the teacher of many.

To be honest, I find boys easier to deal with than girls. I love them both, but boys (especially in middle school, lol) are refreshingly direct.

I still see the young boy hiding behind the frames of grown men when I look at my sons. I love the way they become young boys again when they play with the grandboy.

I love my grandboy enough to accept that he's not the kind of reader that the rest of the family is.

We're bibliophiles. Always reading something. The grandboy loves to be read to, reads quite well himself, and reads something every day. He doesn't like to read stories, though. He'd rather see the movie. When I take him to the library, he gets non-fiction and comic books. He has to be bribed to read novels, even when he enjoys them. He'd rather read the manual to a game or a toy than a story.

What kinds of things will you be reading with your boys this year?

My guided reading groups read Frindle by Andrew Clements last year, and that's a candidate for the club. I'm reading Loser by Jerry Spinelli right now. It'll probably depend on the group I cobble together and what their tolerances are. I'd love to read The Dark is Rising with them in the winter, but not everyone enjoys fantasy and I don't want any parents freaking on me about the content. There's always Hatchet. Might throw in some nonfiction as well.

I got my reading group through it last year, even with the dialect. When I finally got my student with autism to understand what a whipping boy was, he was highly offended and wouldn't let go of it for days. :D

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I have 3 boys, each tested gifted at an early age, but writing was difficult although one in particular could hear a story or read it himself and give a very concise verbal recap, but it took many years and much patience to get the writing down.

Teachers were stunned that IQ's weren't matching performance, and at the first of the year IEP meetings the shocked looks on teachers' faces was common. Classroom teachers who are willing to work with and challenge kids are great, but the exceptional education teachers who care and help to bridge the gaps have a special place in my heart. :hug:

I hope that you have a great school year! :hi:

The first week has gone pretty well, so I'm anticipating a good year. :hi: