Welcome to the phosphodiesterase VA-inhibiting DUzy Awards, a compendium of star-spangled amusement from this week on DU.
Congratulations to this week's winners!
Note to Mods: Skinner has authorized the DUzy Awards to be posted in GD. Special thanks to scarletwoman, Breeze54, grantcart, FlyingSquirrel, prodn2000, krispos42, CaliforniaPeggy, mythyc, dicksteele, hootinholler, REACTIVATED IN CT, eppur_se_muova, Wetzelbill, stellanoir, Kerrytravelers, orleans, LiberalAndProud, tavalon, chknltl and NanceGreggs for their invaluable assistance with this edition. OP by girl gone mad: Sarah Palin Baby Name Generatorhttp://www.personal-space.com/palin/index.php:rofl:
I got: Shaver Razorback Palin
response #1 by Kutjara:
Froth Moonshine Palin.I kinda like it.
response #5 by Guy Whitey Corngood:
Hi my name is Puck Mule Palin these are my brothers Hen Waffle Palinand Flack Gobbler Palin.
response #8 by SeattleGirl:
Entered my daughter's name, and got Smoke Strapon PalinGood thing she's out of the country. She'd probably kill me. :rofl:
response #30 by greguganus:
Hung Low Palin. Hey! That's what they call me already! n/tresponse #38 by derby378:
McCain Fortress PalinNoooooooooooo!!! :cry:
response #56 by crazy_vanilla:
Popped Out Another Palinresponse #58 by Dr Fate:
Bridge. I came up with that myself.response #79 by greblc:
Stage Propresponse #81 by derby378:
ginbarn's new name is Stinger Assassin PalinShe's begging me to take her to the courthouse so she can get her name changed. :eyes:
GDP, September 12, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7047240 OP by FSogol: "in what respect, charlie" is becoming an internet phenomenon4,480 hits.
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=%22in+what+respect%2C+charlie%22&btnG=SearchIt's the new, "What's the Frequency Kenneth" or "I can haz Cheezburger?"
This time next year, Palin will be the punchline of some bad jokes.
response #3 by KurtNYC:
Did you say bad jokes.....What do you call Sarah Palin 14 years from now?
A: Great Grandma
response #70 by crazy_vanilla:
beware of the beehiveWhat is she hiding in that beehive of hers anyway? A rifle? The bridge-to-nowhere cash? or her college diploma? :nuke:
response #24 by cwydro:
That was kinda funny.It was obvious. Deer in headlights look
Reminded me of Dan Quayle.
response #45 by kath:
Correction. MOOSE in headlights...response #35 by RichardUK:
Already becoming part of the lexicon"In what respect Charlie?"
A response to a question we either don't know the answer to, don't understand or don't know the meaning of some of the words contained in the question.
Example:
Question: Where is our relationship going?
Answer: In what respect Charlie?
response #56 by crazy_vanilla:
And see below for a raft of Special Visual Achievement awards from this thread. At press time, hit count on the search link in the OP is at about 14,900...
GDP, September 12, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7046131 On a thread by Breeze54: Who's watching Palin on 20/20?response #11 by Breeze54:
Drinking party Rules: #1 Drink everytime she says... "Chaaaaarlie...":P
#2: Drink when she says: OUR LEADERS :eyes:
#3.: Drink when she says "What Bush Doctrine?"
#4: Drink when she says: "War from Gawd"
Add your own! ;)
response #14 by chicagoexpat:
I only watch Palin on Monty Python... tho that travel show wasn't 1/2 bad, eitherresponse #15 by JenniferJuniper:
This Palin is not a lumberjackAnd she's not okay!
GD, September 12, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3987923 OP by 20score: Palin Offers $150.00 Bounty On Alaska LiberalsAnchorage – Despite the international outrage over Palin’s support for the aerial hunting of wolves, and the bounty offered by Alaska for the paws of said wolves, Palin has now expanded the program to include liberals and others on the left.
“Alaskans hate wolves and liberals, so it was just natural to increase the program to include hippies and lefties,” Sarah Palin said as she lay on a bearskin rug, holding an AK47. “This has more to do with religion than politics, you know. See, there is going to be a big battle between good and evil in Alaska, and both the wolves and those lefty do-gooders will be on the side of Satan. So, I’m really just helping God!” she said.
“Isn’t there going to be legal and ethical problems with this,” asked Charlie Rose from the doorway.
“In what respect, Charlie?” Sarah asked.
GD, September 13, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3993369 OP by Peake: Lounge Science Experiment: Complete.Poetry post featuring PB Shelley: 5 views.
Post about being offered sexual favors: 40+ views.
This was not my intent, to find this out, I posted because they both happened, but it goes along the same principles of "scientists amazed to find that dog likes beer and will drink as much as they put in front of it." ;)
The Lounge, September 13, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8093908 OP by A-Schwarzenegger: I thought Gov Palin had good hand gestures in the debate with Charlie Gibson.She used her hands effectively to emphasize certain things.
She used wider hand signals to indicate bigger things, like
democracy and free-thinkingness, and brought her hands together
to show how things should be focused more, like when she was
talking about efficiencies in agencies. Charlie wasn't as good,
only circling his loafer a lot and staring into space while
she was talking like he forgot if he locked the door or paid the
gas bill. All and all, Gov Palin won that part of the debate
quite handily, in my view.
response #2 by JoeIsOneOfUs:
Her hand gestures DISTURBED me, though I can't quite say why. ntresponse #6 by A-Schwarzenegger:
I think partly because they were crisp & efficient and reminded one of another admirable debater,President Bush I, whose mere simple and eloquent looking at his watch became a landmark of debate highlight moments.
response #43 by zidzi:
What about the wink and the nod? Whatdo make of that, oh fair and objective one... if you may?
response #46 by A-Schwarzenegger:
I believe she may had had something written on her eyelid.Since that was the only time she closed her eye.
The nod was to distract from the wink in order for
the message on her eyelid to go deeper into the
subconscience of both Charlie and the billions viewing.
response #24 by NYC_SKP:
Don't forget her eye gestures, she kicked his ass...She maintained eye contact regardless of how truthful she was being, and she only diverted her eyes when seeming to look contemplative.
And, she totally outblinked him, sometimes with the "what did you just ask?" blink, at others she used the "and that's the truth" double-blink.
You've got to give her credit on these, too.
response #33 by A-Schwarzenegger:
Also, once she grabbed her bare knee with both handsduring the Bush Doctrine questions. This was to indicate that
the Bush Doctrine was the policy that the USA had the
right to have a first exemption on invading another
country. Hands together means the military, the knee
means America and protecting it against foreign invasions
like Charlie's questions. All of these are ways to get to
the viewer's subconscience without the other lobes becoming
involved.
response #42 by NYC_SKP:
Sometimes I grab my bare knees with both hands, and, like Sarah,......it happens when I'm working hard to, pardon the expression, pass a big turd.
And, I fully agree with your last point.
response #73 by dbonds:
She was wearing Jesus fish earrings. Now that I think about it...I bet the shape of them acted as a capacitor, catching radio waves and translating them to sound waves only she could hear.
response #27 by grantcart:
a very effective hand jobresponse #29 by NYC_SKP:
Don't get me started......I'll "go there". I will.
I.will.go.there.
response #30 by grantcart:
bring the tissueresponse #62 by NYC_SKP:
tissue? Bring a camcorder!response #36 by KT2000:
Dear A-Schwarzenegger,I have found your candidate reviews so helpful, first the hair and now the hand gestures.
I hope you will give us the rundown on the shoe selections of the candidates. As a friend remarked about Sarah's open-toed high heels - "hey - those are f@#K me shoes!!" But this friend is neither fair nor balanced.
response #39 by Beetwasher:
No. Hand Movements Are EssentialNo president in the last 600 years got anywhere w/out hands. She's a weiner. I mean winner.
response #51 by beac:
She will be McCain's hands. She completes him.I mean, they are "soulmates".... er, "mavericks." Whatever, she gives good hand
response #53 by book_worm:
funny you should mention that. I was giving her plenty of hand gestures as she was speaking.response #109 by Vattel:
That's it, I'm voting for Palin-McCainIt's not the hand gestures, it's the hands. She has the hands of Mother Teresa. Mother Teresa probably wants them back, but I think it's a sign from God that He wants her to be in the number two slot. If God wants to, He can smite McCain and move Palin and Teresa's hands up to the number one slot. Judging by McCain's health, it looks like God is already in the process of smiting him; so I think the divine plan is unfolding just as the prophets foretold long ago. Recall the words of Nostradamus: "The Old Fish stinks of Death, but the Scarlet-lipped Pig shall cross a Bridge to Nowhere and sit on the Throne of the Chimp." Come on, that prophecy can't be a coincidence.
response #128 by DearAbby:
I was enthralled with her intelligenceI had no idea. Her vast experience in Foreign Policy made me stop and think about the trip I made to El Paso in 1998, I looked across the border, instantly I became an expert in Foreign Policy.
I plan a trip to Washington, circle the Supreme Court four times, and become a Supreme Court Justice. She has given me a new lease on life! ::tilt head:::rattle rattle:::blank stare:::
And believe it or not, much more...
GDP, September 13, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7057933 OP by dkf: Maybe Sarah Palin didn't deliberately lie about being in Iraq...maybe she had no clue where she was.
:rofl:
I'm beginning to think she might be kind of a ditz.
response #1 by BlooInBloo:
She resembles the American public - she's a fucking idiot....As such, it's both a strength and a weakness.
response #2 by Kurt_and_Hunter:
You can see Iraq from Kuwait...GDP, September 14, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7064976 On a thread by Bleedstreet: Hannity Forum Meltdown over Palin/SNL skit"Thanks SNL..the more you bash her, the more people will vote for her..nice try doing Barack's dirty work for him, but you failed, again, miserably"
"MORE AMUNITION FOR McCAIN Camp....
NBC is Dems/Libs channel..... OBAMA is home, and they are SPEAKING ON BEHALF of Obama campagne...with cheap digs...and Obama will surely use some of it...fine...OBAMA is going against Palin, no McCain, and McCain will toss litle Obama aside at the debates
and Palin does not talk like that...so already it's biased...no digs at Hillary"
more at
http://forums.hannity.com/showthread.php?t=864031response #1 by Drunken Irishman:
What's campagne?A rural area? :D
response #6 by GaYellowDawg:
It's what morans drink on New Year's Eve. nmGDP, September 14, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7062651 OP by PCIntern: Years ago, I had a patient whose name was "Velveeta"I swear to God.
I thought I'd heard everything until:
Track Enfield
They're doing it again!!!! It's the Stealth Morans taking over...how many times do we have to endure stupidity of this nature?
And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.
GDP, September 14, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7066770 On a thread by marmar: Man suspected of sausage and spice attack set free"SANGER, Calif. - A man suspected of breaking into the home of two California farmworkers, rubbing spices into the face of one man and smacking another with an 8-inch sausage has been set free.
Prosecutors say they do not have enough evidence to file criminal charges against 21-year-old Antonio Vasquez. He was released from Fresno County Jail on Tuesday.
Sheriff's Lt. Ian Burrimond says Vasquez was found hiding in a field wearing only a T-shirt, boxers and socks after the Saturday morning attack. Vasquez is also accused of stealing $900 from the home.
There is no listed phone number for Vasquez..."
response #6 by Canuckistanian:
This is happening with alarming frequency‘Just William jape’ lands boy, 12, in court for attack with sausage
A 12-year-old boy has appeared in court charged with
assaulting a man with a sausage.
It was, the judge mused, like an episode from the Just William novels. Except that William was never hauled before a youth court at a cost to the taxpayer of £2,000 – and even he would have struggled to terrorise someone with a bite-sized snack.
The elderly victim was walking home from a pub in Wythenshawe, Manchester, when he became involved in an argument with the boy. Manchester Youth Court was told that the dispute got out of hand and the boy threw a cocktail sausage in anger, striking the man on the shoulder.
The court was not told whether the sausage was cooked, raw or frozen.
It's long past due for registration of dangerous meat and meat byproduct weapons.
response #7 by marmar:
Who knew Bob Evans and Jimmy Dean were terrorist masterminds?:scared: :scared: :scared:
response #8 by tannybogus:
Are patties a misdemeanor and links a felony??? ntresponse #9 by Hubert Flottz:
This type of pork based terra-ism should not stand!When the Queen of Pork Barrel spending is crowned all this pork-o-terraism will come to a screeching halt!
Sarah can run but she can't hide the sausage!
response #11 by SalmonChantedEvening:
I see you have provided a link...:rofl:
response #14 by tannybogus:
What caliber were they?Did they find any casings??? :rofl:
(boy, amusing myself today)
The Lounge, September 14, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8095352 Poll question by lionesspriyanka: What would you rather do if these are your choices?:bluebox: run out naked in the middle of a party
:bluebox: stuck in a shower w. a LARGE cockroach
response #1 by taterguy:
Ever try to keep a roach lit in the shower?It's fucking impossible
Or so I've heard
response #4 by krispos42:
Seems to me that B) would cause A):rofl:
response #25 by hobbit709:
Been there, done that!Give us better choices.
At press time, "stuck in a shower w. a LARGE cockroach" was winning with 59% of the votes.
The Lounge, September 14, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8095775 On a thread by Amerigo Vespucci: Moose Mom tells Colorado "guys and gals" she'll fix economy with "shaking up and some fixin’."response #11 by proud2Blib:
I swear this is just like if Granny was nominated VPJed is out front packin up the truck and Ellie is out by the cement pond getting pregnant.
It would be funny if she wasn't so damn scary.
response #12 by Amerigo Vespucci:
Yep. And Jethro is cypherin' the campaign contributions...:rofl:
GDP, September 15, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7077665 OP by Duke Newcombe: Just checking...did anyone know McCain was a P.O.W?For some reason he keeps repeating it, so I just wanted to put it out there so he'll finally shut up.
That is all.
response #1 by hisownpetard:
LINK?!response #9 by RoyGBiv:
You are SHITTING me!!!Really?
Damn. The things you learn ...
POWPOWPOWPOWPOW
response #20 by LiberalHeart:
Please stop spreading rumors. n/tresponse #29 by DFW:
The October surprise revealed!!They obviously planned to use this as the second half of the one-two punch
starting with Palin. When the public hears about this, they will no doubt
flock to McCain in a rush of blind patriotic fervor.
I'm just amazed they were able to keep it a secret all this time.
response #36 by bambino:
P O Dubyaresponse #41 by Lucy Goosey:
a piece of work?GDP, September 15, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7071053 OP title by spanone: pfotenhauer.....does that mean shithead in some language?response #2 by fiziwig:
Elbonian. NTresponse #7 by Kristi1696:
I can't stand her. The whole "Cheshire Cat grin on a snake's body" thing is really repulsive.And, oh yeah, there's the whole lying Republican lobbyist thing too.
:thumbsdown:
response #23 by maseman:
I don't trust anyone with too many consonants in their nameresponse #24 by Lautremont:
You wouldn't trust me, then. My middle name is "I'd Like To Buy A Vowel."Me, I don't trust men who wear both belt and suspenders, for they do not even trust their own pants.
GDP, September 15, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7077607 On a thread by CatWoman: Sarah Palin's Second Interview Postponed Due To Hurricane"Sarah Palin's second sit-down will be pushed back a day due to damage caused by Hurricane Ike.
The interview, which was scheduled for Tuesday morning in Cincinnati, Ohio, will be moved back 24 hours to Wednesday morning. The interview will now take place in Youngstown, Ohio, but it will still be presented in two parts, Wednesday and Thursday on 'Hannity & Colmes'..."
response #1 by annabanana:
postponed due to the air spinning rapidly between her ears...that hurricane?
response #15 by Clio the Leo:
This just in, interview pushed back to Friday due to it being partly cloudy in Cleveland. NTGDP, September 15, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7079092 On a thread by TeamJordan23: Palin nearly flunked her Economics class in collegeresponse #3 by O.M.B.inOhio:
Americans: You're not voting for a chum to have a beer with or to drive the minivan....This is the leader of the free world here. Don't you want you Pres and VP to be the smartest guys in the room? We're electing someone not because they look most like us, but because they can do the most for us. People our allies respect and enemies respect and fear.
Jeez, it's amazing that McC*nt/Failin' would even be viable candidates for supermarket cashier, let alone the highest office in the land and "on deck" for the same. Bush/Cheney, then these two clowns.... what's next? An infant and a kitten? A photo of Reagan and a T-bone steak?
GDP, September 16, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7084644 OP by Writer: I propose a new sit-com for the fall season: The Palin FamilyWatch as this adorable Wasilla, Alaska, family deals with the ups and downs of getting along while going along. Dad Todd and Mom Sarah plot to fire a local police sheriff because he didn't carry through with a vendetta firing of Sarah's former brother-in-law! ((roll laugh track)) Meanwhile, daughter Bristol gets pregnant after having sex with her hockey-playing boyfriend in the back of a Buick LeSabre! Laughs for the whole family! ((roll laugh track)) But there's also a few touching moments, ((roll slow, melancholy theme music)) like when drug-using son Track signs up for the military. Get your Kleenex ready when you watch Mom Sarah wish her son good luck as he's sent to fight in a senseless war that she supports.
Laughs! Tears! Moose! The Palin Family - coming Thursdays this fall to NBC!
BE THERE!
((sign out with Sarah Palin's funny catch phrase: "In what respect, Charlie?" followed by laugh track))
The Lounge, September 16, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8099241 OP by PurgedVoter: How dare you say such things about the lovely Sarah Palin?She is so lovely, perhaps the most lovely person that has ever existed on this or any other planet. She has been through so much, and been so brave.
Since it has been well established that Sara has the iron determination to do what it takes, and that the President can throw terrorists, potential terrorists, and frankly any other enemies of the state in prison and torture them in exotic locations, it seems like you people are being very, very brave. I wonder if you will be so brave when the mass water boardings of protesters and undesirables start? I hope that a few of you learn to respect and say nice things about Sarah, because after she takes the election and then the presidency, it would be really sad if the only ones left to post on DU are the trolls and freepers.
I for one welcome our new Alaskan Overlord!
GDP, September 16, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7083494 On a thread by EV_Ares: If nothing else the Breaking News on CNN should prove to the American peopleabout the character of the republican VP candidate.
The breaking news is that of 5 Alaska legislators suing to block the investigation into Palin's firing of the Alaska official in connection with her ex brother-in-law.
The McCain campaign says she will not cooperate with the investigation team...
response #2 by Juniperx:
She may as well jump into a white Bronco...With a passport and silly wig.
response #9 by mitchum:
She's Spiro HagnewGDP, September 16, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7086763 On a thread by CTyankee: My RW coworker says the subprime mess is all Barney Frank's fault. Is any of this true?response #3 by IanDB1:
Your RW coworker is confused.Barney Frank turned your right-wing co-worker gay.
Phil Gramm caused the Subprime mess.
response #8 by Jackpine Radical:
What "facts" is she purporting to offer in support of her thesis?If I were to tell you that creatures from Neptune have landed on the back of the moon, would you try to prove me wrong, or would you ask me where the hell I got THAT wacko notion?
response #14 by BOSSHOG:
Wait just a second young manIf creatures landed on the Moon wouldn't we have seen them pass by? I think your just trying to stir things up here.
response #21 by Jackpine Radical:
The only place you can see the back of the moon fromis Little Diomede Island - or is it Big Diomede? Well, whichever one belongs to us. So Sarah Palin is the only one who knows for sure.
response #25 by BOSSHOG:
She's going to fly to the Sun to investigate our source of heatbut for safety's sake she's flying at night.
response #28 by Jackpine Radical:
I hope she doesn't leave from Canada.The sun never sets on the British Empire, ya know.
GD, September 16, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4014167 OP by abernste: Everyone, Obama took a big hit today with the multi-millionaire crowd. Can he recover?Two very high-profile endorsements from someone named "Lady" and a guy who owns casinos. We are screwed!!!
response #2 by Curtland1015:
I knew it! The sky is falling! Dogs and cats living together!Mass hysteria! I'm moving to Canada! *Insert generic piss pants message here* ! We're doomed I tells ya! Doooooooooooooomed!!!
GDP, September 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7103981 OP by LeftHander: I am asking for a bailout...just $1,000,000How about it....?
Just a mere millions dollars. A drop in the bucket really.
I have something like 10,000 in debt if you count my car loan and my credit card balance.
I don't own a home.
I live paycheck to paycheck. Help me too.
Just one million. I could do a lot....put my daughter through college.
Start a small sailmaking, refurb and rigging shop...
I would probably hire a dozen or so people in a small town along Lake Michigan western shore.
response #1 by wtmusic:
Not sure you qualify.Have you produced billions of dollars in crappy, environmentally-unfriendly products over the last fifty years?
They don't hand them out to anyone, you know.
response #3 by slackmaster:
How tall are you, and how much do you weigh?Sorry for the personal question, I just need to evaluate whether or not you are too big to be allowed to fail.
response #10 by LeftHander:
9' 10" 680 lbsThat analysis was compiled by the Heritage Foundation....conservative think tank and corroborated by intelligence from a Iraqi defector.
GD, September 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4021837 On a thread by Spouting Horn: Sarah Palin’s Yahoo account hijacked, e-mails posted onlineRead more:
http://blogs.zdnet.com/security/?p=1919response #5 by
shraby:
It must be busy, I can't get it up.response #13 by global1:
Try Cialis or Viagra......ntresponse #34 by DuStrange:
Works great for electile dysfunction.response #284 by DuStrange:
If you experience a Bush presidency lasting more than 4 years...please consult a physician!
response #274 by StClone:
Can't choose between McCain and ObamaObvious selectile dysfunction.
response #92 by MindMatter:
It wasn't that hard to break in. Her password was "DrillMe"response #20 by HopeHoops:
Well, in her defense, at least she knows how to send an e-mail.response #28 by ticapnews:
The difference between George Bush and Sarah Palin?Lipstick.
response #31 by Limelight:
Wouldn't it be ironicIf they hacked her email with their blackberry that McCain invented?!
:rofl:
response #46 by asthmaticeog:
Now they'll NEVER get McCain to use email. ntresponse #47 by The Animator:
Since McSame doesn't know how to use a computer...I wouldn't put it past him to rely on her to help him with the White House computers.
"Sarah where are those damned launch codes?"
"Ohh I put them in a zip file on my geocities page."
"You did what?!"
"It's okay dontcha know.. It's set to private."
"Well I need them, what's your geowhatsit page?"
"geocities.com/rapturemaker"
"Well bring it up!"
"Wow, I'm pretty popular!"
"Huh?"
"This page has gotten over a thousand hits in the last few days!"
"I think I'm having a heart attack!"
"Don't fight it John, it's God's will."
"Stupid C***! ughgger..."
"Thank you Jesus! I knew he'd keel over sooner or later... If I'd known this is what would set him off I'd have done it months ago. And to think I wasted all that time trying boink him to death!"
LBN, September 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3495266 OP by GrizzlyMan: The MSM is so cute, I could just pinch their little collective cheeksYou know when a toddler discovers something new in the world? It's kind of cute. And that's how it is with the MSM as well. Obama took control of this race on Monday and yet the MSM is only just now beginning to discover:
1-That the dynamics of this race have changed radically in the last 4 days.
2-That the poll numbers in key battleground states like VA and Ohio don't show Obama is weak, they show he is strong and getting stronger.
3-That the Palin effect is starting to wear off, and that she's no longer at center stage.
4-That McCain's convention bounce is, as the late 70s rock group Kansas opined, just dust in the wind.
As I see it, folks like David Gregory with their silly little week old polls about what white women think of Obama, are like little toddlers just discovering what this crazy world of politics is all about.
GDP, September 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7092447 OP by Cyrano: The "October Surprise" contestWithout a doubt, Karl Rove and Dick Cheney are putting the final touches on the "October Surprise" that will ensure victory for McCain/Palin.
So it's contest time. What will the "October Surprise" be? Will Alaska invade Russia? Will Sarah Palin reveal her Mensa membership? Will Bin Laden release a tape endorsing Barak? Who knows?
So let's hear what you think the "October Surprise" will be.
Oh, yeah. The prize for the winner will be hurrahs from 100,000+ DUers.
response #1 by gateley:
I think we can safely rule out Palin's revelation of a Mensa membership. ntresponse #20 by Cyrano:
Republican Mensas get graded on a curveresponse #4 by EstimatedProphet:
McCain will do a secret deal that makes gas $0.04 per gallonresponse #5 by Marsala:
Larry Johnson finally finds that tape. n/tresponse #13 by joop:
Palin will remove her Scooby Doo latex mask and revealshe's actually Bush.
Think of it--have you ever seen them at the same place at the same time?
GDP, September 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7096153 OP by Wetzelbill: McCain may take Palin to the United Nations... I just saw that as a headline on Yahoo.
So now every country's flag that she sees she will get to count as foreign policy experience. She gets genuine expertise if she shakes some random ambassador's staffer's hand.
Oh the jokes do write themselves don't they?
response #2 by Ashy Larry:
It's like his campaign is a spin-off of The ApprenticeThis week's challenge is to pretend to understand diplomacy at the UN. If she is able to fool enough people, he'll take her to play golf at his country club and then a ride on his jet to one of his 9 houses.
response #6 by Wetzelbill:
And on Nov. 4 we get to say "You're fired."response #9 by symbolman:
In how many languages can you say..."Who's The RUBE?" :)
response #22 by BeyondGeography:
Maybe they can swing by Chinatown and Little Italy and check two whole countries off the to-do listresponse #23 by PA Democrat:
Is it "Take your Daughter to Work" day?GDP, September 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7092624 OP by DainBramaged: Sent from my desktop computer, a miracle made possible by John McCainas was my meager dinner, cooked in my microwave, another miracle made possible by John McCain, as was the use of my toilet, a miracle made possible by John McCain, and toilet paper, a miracle made possible by John McCain.
We must be thankful for all of the miracles made possible by John McSame. Really, we must.
response #9 by Dr.Phool:
You forgot! McCain invented the wheel.First he invented the axle, but he used it for a club to kill baby seals and wolves.
response #4 by 27inCali:
that was after John McCain crossed the Potomac with Washingtonand single handedly won the battle of Marathon.
GDP, September 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7092317 On a thread by Bluebear: Palin: "Yes, I think I will see Jesus come back to earth in my lifetime"response #30 by Zhade:
A logical (ha!) question about the Immaculate Lack of Contraception...So follow me here: if jesus is, like, sort of/sort of not god, when the christian god boned Mary, did he shout "jesus is coming"?
...
Thanks, I'll be here all week! Try the fish - it's (allegedly) all you can eat!
response #54 by Oregonian:
Sarah Palin would have made Mary pay for her own rape kit after the deity had his way with her.And see below for two Special Visual Achievement awards from this thread.
GD, September 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4024847 Poll question by prodn2000: I just finished the Sean & Sarah lovefest on Fox...Does Sarah put Moose in her hair?Sarah's hair was fabulous!
A Grand Slam!
So incredibly silky and smooth with no sign of split ends.
:bluebox: Moose
:bluebox: Mousse
:bluebox: Both
:bluebox: Neither
:bluebox: Other
response #3 by NYC_SKP:
She uses moose nectar....It's high in protein...
:hide:
response #8 by prodn2000:
Is that compatible with today's modernCurling Irons?
response #16 by NYC_SKP:
THAT depends on how you use it.... On your hair it might get stuck.Use it on the moose and you get more nectar.....
Those long arctic nights, lots of time to kill. You know what they say..."What happens in Alaska, stays in Alaska."
response #4 by cliffordu:
I had moose tracks ice cream after dinner - does that count??response #5 by Kool Kitty:
Only if you put it in your hair.At press time, "Other" was winning with 40% of the votes.
GDP, September 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7104569 On a thread by madmusic: Study Finds Possible Biological Basis for Political Positions"People who startle easily in response to threatening images or loud sounds seem to have a biological predisposition to adopt conservative political positions on many hot-button social issues, according to unusual new research being published today..."
response #4 by Ghost in the Machine:
Is 'shit for brains' a Biological Basis?That explains 99.9% of all conservatives....
GD, September 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4032497 On a thread by rsmith6621: Share Your Favorite Depression Days Reciperesponse #1 by Kutjara:
(1) Take one slice of stale bread.(2) Tear off a piece.
(3) Hold it in your mouth for several minutes, until it softens.
(4) Call it "cake."
response #7 by Tangerine LaBamba:
I got this one from Cindy McCainIt's just like yours, only she stirs in a cup of white wine, NOT champagne, and a pound of cooked lobster meat.
She garnishes it with a dab of creme fraiche and a smidgen of Beluga caviar.
Serves 1 Republican or 24 Democrats.
response #8 by spindrifter:
Here's mine--one extra large recipe pie crust
Two onions, cut in rings
Two carrots, cut in one-inch pieces
Five Idaho potatoes, peeled and sliced
Drudge the vegetables in enough flour to cover
Add pats of margarine
Two neocons, smoked
Find a pan large enough for the neocons
Fit bottom layer of crust
Add neocons--might have to beat them with wooden mallets to soften them up so they fit in the pan.
Add vegetables.
Place pats of butter on top.
Cover with crust--cut air holes in top.
Brush crust with milk.
Bake in very slow oven overnight.
response #9 by valerief:
GM Prolefeed1 boiled GM chicken leg
1 GM tomato sliced
1 cup GM creamed corn
Ignore the glowing boil that develops on your forehead after eating this and think positive. Don't be whiner.
GD, September 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4033262 On a thread by thecatburgler: Explain it to me like I'm a first grader: McCain taxing health care benefitsresponse #1 by Rabrrrrrr:
I think the best way to look at it is to just assume that McCain is lying,and that whatever he says won't come to pass anyway; that he probably hasn't put any thought into it to begin with and has no idea what he's fucking talking about, or, if he does know, he's just pandering for votes and lying about it to begin with.
response #6 by Indenturedebtor:
Ok like you were a firstgrader then. Ahem:If a Republican says anything about helping anyone who makes less than 4 million dollars a year, simply substitute "help" with "aggressively touch your bathing suit area".
Now remember: Whenever any creepy old man talks about touching your bathing suit area - kick him in his twig and berries.
response #17 by blondeatlast:
Senator McCain is a bad person who doesn't want you to have a lollipop.Senator McCain will tax the people whom Mommy And Daddy work for for giving them nice things like you getting a lollipop after a check up.
This will cost the people Mommy and Daddy work for a lot more than what they already pay which is too much already. So the people Mommy and Daddy work for might no longer give then that nice thing.
That means that Mommy and Daddy have to get help to get your check-up and lollipop from big, greedy companies that will make Mommy and Daddy pay a lot more.
If the people Mommy and Daddy work for allow all the Mommies and Daddies to keep this nice thing, Senator McCain will tax Mommy and Daddy a whole lot more for it.
Bad Senator McCain.
GDP, September 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7107654 On a thread by LynneSin: You're Barack Obama and you've just be elected Prez - what are the first 5 things you do on 1/21/09response #1 by LisaM:
Replace that ugly carpet in the Oval Officepeach, or whatever it is. It's atrocious. And uppdate the White House website.
I know it sounds frivolous, but really, the office needs more of a power look. Right now it looks like the back room of a celebrity RV.
response #14 by willing dwarf:
I'm sure Georgie's takin that with himHe got Laura to make it for him special, 'cause she's clever like that...knows how to shop....
response #16 by MookieWilson:
It looks like a huge circus peanut. ntresponse #11 by grace0418:
#1. Have the White House thoroughly disinfected from top to bottom.#2. Do it a second time, just to be safe.
#3. In fact, maybe some smudge sticks are in order.
After that I like your ideas.
response #17 by TwoSparkles:
President Obama's first five priorities...1. Kick John McCain's ass down the capitol steps.
2. Tell Rush Limbaugh, "Look who's got the microphone now, clown boy."
3. Order the FCC to scramble the Fox signal
4. Declare "Free Republican" a Federal Disaster Area and order a streamlined and highly effective FEMA to go clean it up.
5. Rent out the "Club For Growth" meeting room to a local DC knitting circle.
response #37 by HawkeyeX:
Better idea yet - Order FCC to move Faux and all its affiliatesto a bottom tier, where people have to pay $1,000 A MONTH to see Faux.
Or better yet, make it PPV if they want to make it painful - set it for every 15 minutes.
response #25 by Bornaginhooligan:
#1 mandatory pot#2 bomb olive garden
#3 do a barrel roll
#4 ????
#5 profit
response #32 by dkofos:
1. Have bush and cheney arrested for TREASON2.Have bush and cheney arrested for TREASON
3.Have bush and cheney arrested for TREASON
4.Have bush and cheney arrested for TREASON
5.Have bush and cheney arrested for TREASON
GDP, September 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7112197 OP by EarlG: EarlG News: Media Announces Bailout Of McCain CampaignWASHINGTON, DC -- Acting to avert a possible crisis in the U.S. presidential election, the media today announced a bailout of Sen John McCain's (R-AZ) campaign. Cable news commentators scrambled to prop up the Senator's sagging poll numbers Friday as the fast-disappearing dream of a nail-biting horse-race threatened to bring down America's entire punditry system.
A senior CNN political analyst speaking on condition of anonymity said that the collapse of McCain's campaign could prove disastrous to the pundit industry. "A horse-race is vital to our bottom line," he said. "Without neck-and-neck poll numbers we can't maintain an air of suspense right up to election day, and our ratings will suffer. I could be out of a job by this time next week."
"These are desperate times, and we're going to take unprecedented action to bring the polls back into line with our preferred projections," said another anonymous insider. "We'll be ignoring all of McCain's gaffes on foreign policy matters and covering up his tremendous flip-flops on the economy. Then we'll focus tightly on polls which show the closest possible race between the two candidates."
If the first part of the media's emergency bailout fails to turn things around industry insiders say they could resort to more drastic measures, such as taking more of Michelle Obama's comments out of context to gin up another false controversy about her patriotism, or creating additional rumors about Barack Obama's religion. An anonymous source at Fox News revealed, "At this point nothing is off the table."
Reaction to the announcement was mixed, with many members of the public remaining skeptical. "Isn't the media supposed to tell us what's actually happening in the world, as opposed to cherry-picking stories in order to create a narrative that boosts their ratings and advertising revenue?" asked Bob Jenkins, 52, a mechanic from Harrisburg, Penn.
Despite the media's best efforts, John McCain's campaign has teetered on the brink of collapse ever since he selected a clueless moosehunter as his running mate.
GDP, September 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7120032 OP by Bigmack: Obama and Satan...Prayer from Freepland....
"Heavenly Father, we glorify and praise you! Lord we call on you to expose Barack Obama. Your Word says that we do not fight flesh and blood but powers of darkness and principalities. Lord, Satan and his minions are working overtime through Barack Obama to spread their lies. Lord we call upon you to fight this battle against this man. Lord make a way for the truth to be known. Make a way for John McCain and Sarah Palin to get their message out over the top of the media who are also complicit in lying to our nation. Father humble us, to come before you each day and to pray for your favor to be upon this nation. Father let your will be done. In the name of your Son, AMEN."
response #5 by Kerrytravelers:
Cool. I'm a minion.Maybe I'll dress up like a minion for Halloween. Anyone know if Halloween Mart carries a minion costume?
response #14 by undeterred:
God even answers the prayers of the misguided.Remember all the rain the day Obama accepted the nomination?
response #31 by vanderRock:
Satan isn't helping Obama, Satan is helping McCain.I mean, she DID marry him.
GD, September 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4038882 OP by A-Schwarzenegger: Obama Needs to Do this Immediately Right Now.Or else something is going to happen.
Why he hasn't already is a mystery to me.
I don't know what they're doing over there.
response #6 by MPK:
I hate it when something happens.It always seems to happen, too. That's it, I'm firing off an email!
response #12 by pirhana:
Why hasn't anyone in his campaign thought of this before?Unbelievable!
response #26 by dave29:
I think he's secretly already done it, and we are all being played by Axelrodresponse #39 by msallied:
But... but... that's what ROVE is counting on!!!response #52 by IAmJacksSmirkingRevenge:
Nonsense. You must be a Republican plantI'm thinking yucca or maybe saguaro.
response #55 by ContinentalOp:
Come on people, please stop it.We need to stop talking about this and bring some attention to this other thing that is happening.
response #57 by blondeatlast:
UH-OH. MCCAIN'S TAKING THE LEAD ON THIS! "I couldn't do that for 5 1/2 years, but now I'm doingit all I can on K Street."
response #66 by regnaD kciN:
He needs to dump Biden and find his own Sarah Palin!!!!!:eyes:
response #72 by NYDem Observer:
I don't get it, if we do that we"ll be playing right into their hands I've always thought we should try the other approach.
response #73 by A-Schwarzenegger:
No, we'd be playing right into their feet,as in the Economic-Bolo-Around-Ankles strategy that
tripped up Kirkaz in his 1622 mayoral run in East
Nelsia. See the youtube of the Kirkaz-Dimpler debate.
GDP, September 16, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7082147 OP by elehhhhna: One more for the "Get a Brain MORANS" fileunnumbered response by Lastlaughin08response #46 by TahitiNutresponse #2 by Bluebearresponse #15 by ColbertWatcherresponse #39 by Husb2Sparklyresponse #43 by scarletwomanresponse #52 by WinkyDinkGD, September 12, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3986293On a thread by FSogol: "in what respect, charlie" is becoming an internet phenomenonresponse #18 by Kurt_and_Hunterresponse #5 by Hepburnresponse #12 by Whispresponse #17 by Motown_Johnnyresponses #25 & #85 by Gidney N Cloydresponse #26 by southpawresponse #31 by Curtland1015response #37 by greendogresponse #44 by chittyresponse #52 by jhainresponses #56, #67 & #73 by WinkyDinkresponses #69 & #79 by GoPsUxresponses #72 & #100 by bobbiejoresponse #94 by Canuckistanianresponse #117 by PermanentRevolutionGDP, September 12, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7046131OP by GoPsUx: For my 30,000th post. "In what respect,Charlie?"responses #11 & #14 by GoPsUxresponse #13 by Tuesday Afternoonresponse #15 by Gidney N Cloydresponse #17 by pokerfanresponse #18 by Forkboyresponse #21 by mwooldriresponses #26 & #29 by PelosiFanresponse #35 by classicfilmfanThe Lounge, September 13, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8092956OP by Kurt_and_Hunter: Faster Pussycat, Drill! Drill! (poster)response #7 by nichomachusGDP, September 13, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7056276OP by Botany: DU short essay contest .... win Dinner w/ Skinner ... 100 to 250 wordsresponse #7 by phrigndumassresponse #11 by thecatburglerresponse #15 by rzemanflresponse #18 by FLDem5response #19 by LiberalHeartresponse #25 by renie408response #36 by BerryBushresponse #29 by crimsonblueresponse #32 by Reader Rabbitresponse #34 by Madam MossfernGDP, September 13, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7056205On a thread by Kadie: Caption this picresponse #4 by Kierkegaardresponse #5 by peekalooresponse #15 by DFWresponse #17 by Hubert Flottzresponse #22 by Earth_FirstGD, September 13, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3992610OP by Lex: LOLpalin.response #4 by VespertineIconoclastThe Lounge, September 14, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8095421OP by OneAmerica: SARAH PALIN = A SHARP NAILGDP, September 14, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7067584OP by Sannum: The Palin Doctrine.GDP, September 14, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7068788On a thread by Kadie: Caption Sarahresponse #1 by MNDemNYresponse #6 by Believing_Is_Artresponse #7 by Ilsaunnumbered response by Ikonoklastresponse #11 by thunder risingresponse #14 by Solly Mackresponse #22 by Starbucks Anarchistresponse #26 by LiberalHeartGD, September 14, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3997240On a thread by PCIntern: Years ago, I had a patient whose name was "Velveeta"response #14 by Kristi1696GDP, September 14, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7066770OP by alfredo: separated at birthresponse #2 by bob_weaverGD, September 14, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3999171OP by npincus: Q: How can you tell when Palin is lying?GDP, September 14, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7068887OP by Aviation Pro: Little Miss Perky....(caption please)response #1 by Catch22Demresponse #9 by Neoresponse #13 by SalmonChantedEveningresponse #32 by IDemoGD, September 15, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4009091OP by zulchzulu: A poster that would scare the crap out of Sarah Palin!GDP, September 15, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7081225OP by Whoa_Nelly: * 'n' Pickles CAPTION TIME! CHoose one! Choose All!GD, September 15, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4009986OP by blogslut: It's Caption Time! - Pouty Pit Bull Edition (((PIC)))response #1 by TheDonkeyresponse #3 by madeline_conresponse #9 by Mr_Jefferson_24GDP, September 15, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7081214On a thread by XemaSab: How the hell does Chertoff have any responsibilities greater thanresponse #3 by IanDB1GD, September 15, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4006577OP by DarleenMB: CNN Headline of the Decaderesponse #15 by hootinhollerGD, September 16, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4013324OP by bob_weaver: I'm now collecting all the misspelled right-winger signsresponse #1 by GreenPartyVoterresponse #8 by Laura PackYourBagsunnumbered response by Beaverhausenresponse #19 by joopresponse #15 by Ichingcarpenterresponse #20 by myrna minxresponse #29 by racaulkresponse #34 by AZDemDist6response #37 by Steve_DeShazerresponse #50 by snake in the grassresponse #54 by Froward69responses #55 & #56 by progressoidresponse #58 by Drunken IrishmanGDP, September 16, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7089913On a thread by sabra: PIC - "lipstick republican for parah salin"response #6 by NightWatcherresponse #25 by FVZA_Colonelresponse #4 by Mzztakableresponse #8 by edwardlindyresponse #12 by YOYresponse #16 by beacresponse #24 by JeroenGD, September 16, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4014653On a thread by Rocknrule: Is Nader going to be the joker in this election again?response #9 by ColbertWatcherGD, September 16, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4010493OP by David Zephyr: Breaking News: George Bush to Fly Over Wall Street.response #26 by GreatCaesarsGhostresponse #56 by jmondineGDP, September 17, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7101801OP by berni_mccoy: BREAKING: Hackers Have NOW BROKEN INTO McCain's EMAIL! SCREENCAP!GDP, September 17, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7095888On a thread by Bluebear: Palin: "Yes, I think I will see Jesus come back to earth in my lifetime"response #8 by faygokidresponse #20 by JenniferJuniperGD, September 17, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4024847On a thread by TomInTib: Where is McCain's OTHER daughter?response #4 by tblueGDP, September 18, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7111655