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give me $700 billion by Friday or I'll kill this kitten....

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mike_c Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-08 01:39 PM
Original message
give me $700 billion by Friday or I'll kill this kitten....


That's at least as good a reason as any I've heard from the grownups in charge!
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valerief Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-08 01:42 PM
Response to Original message
1. That's exactly what they're telling us!
:rofl:
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elocs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-08 01:42 PM
Response to Original message
2. A kitten? I thought it was a dog. Oh where will this madness end? n/t
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TwilightGardener Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-08 01:43 PM
Response to Original message
3. Awwww!! Don't you hurt that adorable kitteh!!
:cry:
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Swamp Rat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-08 01:47 PM
Response to Original message
4. To arms!
:D
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bdamomma Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-08 02:37 PM
Response to Reply #4
11. hey swampy great to have you back.
maybe we should take a clue from that kitty.
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Swamp Rat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-08 02:42 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass...
... and I'm all out of bubble gum.



:hi: alyce douglas :hug:
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ForeignSpectator Donating Member (970 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-08 03:08 PM
Response to Reply #12
18. LOL! Hey, how are you? We here at DU was worried about you... K&R
Edited on Mon Sep-22-08 03:09 PM by ForeignSpectator
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The Blue Flower Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-08 01:47 PM
Response to Original message
5. CNN's report
Edited on Mon Sep-22-08 01:47 PM by Defenestrate
CNN's report on the briefing members of Congress got from Paulson last week about an impending depression sounded exactly like the briefing they got on WMD before we invaded Iraq. Who knows if they even questioned the assumptions leading up to a worst-case scenario?
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classof56 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-08 02:02 PM
Response to Original message
6. No, no, please! Take my house. Take my car. Take my pension!
Just don't kill that sweet l'il kitty!

Oh, what the hell...they're gonna get my house, car and pension anyhow. But at least the cat will live...

Have I mentioned lately how much I absolutely loathe Bush and all his evil minions?

Tired Old Cynic
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orwell Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-08 02:20 PM
Response to Original message
7. Do you take checks...
...drawn on my Lehman account?
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NNN0LHI Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-08 02:22 PM
Response to Original message
8. You haven't been juggling that little puddy cat have you Mike?
Now that would piss me off.

Don
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Stinky The Clown Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-08 02:33 PM
Response to Original message
9. Perfect analogy.
Dead on perfect (pun intended)

KNR
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newtothegame Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-08 02:36 PM
Response to Original message
10. :) n/t
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DemoTex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-08 02:52 PM
Response to Original message
13. BREAKING: They now have the dog too!
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elizfeelinggreat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-08 02:59 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. ha!
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gratuitous Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-08 03:05 PM
Response to Original message
15. You people are so crass!
The $700 billion isn't for me see. It's for this friend of mine, he's in kind of a jam. My friend's a good guy, really, he just got a little sideways, financially. He knows he made a mistake or two, and he has promised me that he's learned his lesson but good this time. Did I say "this time"? Yeah, this is the same friend I asked you for a couple of bucks for back in the 1980s. Look, don't ask so many questions. Are you gonna pony up or not? Because if he doesn't get the money, he said he's going to find you. Now, I don't know if that was a threat, but you should just give me the $700 billion, like now, because you don't know how he gets. Yeah, he can have a real mean streak. Yeah, he'll get you your money back real soon. By the middle of October, latest. Surely by the end of the year. Or when his tax refund comes through at the beginning of next year. Yeah, he'll pay you interest, if you insist, but it sure looks kind of cheap of you to kick him when he's down.

So, what can I tell my friend?
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vanderBeth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-08 03:06 PM
Response to Original message
16. NOOOO
:rofl:
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bemildred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-08 03:07 PM
Response to Original message
17. "Nobody move, or the bunny gets it!"
http://www.hellonearth.com.nyud.net:8090/movies/conair/plot11.jpg
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AwakeAtLast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-08 10:07 PM
Response to Original message
19. I thought masturbating killed kittens













:hide:




I know, my penance :spank:
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-08 11:53 PM
Response to Original message
20. Oooooh, a kitteh.
:bounce: :bounce:
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TexasObserver Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-23-08 01:34 AM
Response to Original message
21. exactly
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McCamy Taylor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-23-08 01:41 AM
Response to Original message
22. Do it or Sarah Palin shoots these orphaned polar bear cubs and cuts off their forepaws.
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beac Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-23-08 01:46 AM
Response to Original message
23. Hmmm... I just got this email...
Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@ treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully,
Minister of Treasury Paulson





http://www.thenation.com/blogs/jstreet/363133/bailout_satire
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ColbertWatcher Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-23-08 01:56 AM
Response to Original message
24. This and Maddow's candy explanation are perfect!
People have to understand that they don't have to be MBAs to know they're being robbed.
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beac Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-23-08 02:00 AM
Response to Original message
25. Have you all seen SwampRat's latest work?:

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