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I'd like to create a NEW fuckin' country for McCain worshippers to live in.

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KillCapitalism Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-16-08 08:15 PM
Original message
I'd like to create a NEW fuckin' country for McCain worshippers to live in.
It's too bad I don't own an island somewhere the size of Greenland. If I did, I'd set up a new country for them, for real. It would be their ultimate utopia, and I'd dub it "NoTaxLand" for them.

Here they would not be oppressed by any taxes, not even a penny. They could revel in their greed and celebrate not giving a dime to any lazy welfare deadbeats, or any child without healthcare ever again. No taxes for police services, fire, roads, no Social Security, etc.

Let's follow the life of someone who moves to this new conservative utopia. We'll call him Jack the electrician. He works for a contractor and he's non-Union of course since unions are deemed communist, so therefore are banned here. He arrives and works hard to build homes for all the new settlers. Everything seems to go well at first and he is able to build a nice home for himself and he considers life to be great since he gets to keep 100% of his income that would otherwise go to deadbeats. Everything is going great until his pocketbook starts to get hit by a lot of vehicle related expenses. He had bought a new work truck about 6 months ago, but now it's getting pretty beat up even though Jack does take good care of it. His new truck is being beaten down by pothole ridden roads, and the cost of new shocks and tires is adding up. You see, roads are privatized here, so even though there are no fuel taxes here, Jack has to pay 50 cents a mile just for the privilege to be able to drive on the roads in NoTaxLand. Even though he pays this highway cost fee, he's not getting his money's worth. Winter has come and it's been rough. The road crews have had to use a lot of salt just to keep roads safe and free of ice. Then all of a sudden in March he learns he will have to pay 75 cents per mile to drive on the roads there. He is not happy about this and complains. The Wal-Mart highway corporation tells him they had to raise the cost to cover the expenses for all the extra salt. Then in April he is informed that road fees will be raised to $1 per mile. He complains again and is told that the fees had to be raised to repair all the potholes from winter, even though they aren't all getting fixed. He figures "Well it's OK, Wal-Mart is a great company, they don't have no commie unions or regulations."

Things go well for Jack for years, and he loves life his new country, but slowly after a while they begin to get worse. He works in the skilled trades & that can be dangerous due to the nature of his work. He begins to hear stories of fellow workers who get hurt on the job & that can't work anymore losing their jobs, homes, and everything else. NoTaxLand is a right-to-work nation, so if you get hurt on the job and can't get work, you automatically get fired. There is no unemployment insurance here or workman's comp. There is also no type of government provided health insurance since that all was deemed communist. If this happens to you, there is no way for you to have any income. Well, one evening after a hard day of work, Jack comes home to find that someone has broken into his home and has stolen his flat screen TV, computer, and a lot of his other belongings. Angry, he calls the Blackwater corporation police department and asks for help. They send an officer out to investigate and take a report. The officer arrives and does this and tells Jack something; "Hey buddy, you better get an alarm system since these burglaries have gone up recently. It's those unemployed bums who claim they can't work going around doing this stuff." Jack replies "Yeah that would be a good idea, thanks officer." The officer then tells Jack "That'll be $500 for the investigation fee, and $250 for the report." Jack is a little upset about this since he has already lost thousands of dollars of his belongings and now he has to pay $750 on top of this for police fees, and there's not even any guarantee the thief will be caught. Anyway, next he calls his homeowner's insurance company and reports the claim. They reimburse Jack for his losses, and everything is OK now.

Then another evening Jack returns home from work and notices some nasty looking black storm clouds brewing in the distance, he hurries inside knowing that a nasty storm is on the way. Not too long after getting into his home, the storm hits and the lightning is intense. All of a sudden Jack hears a deafening BOOM which startles him so badly that he hits the floor. Moments later he begins to smell smoke. He goes to investigate and notices that his roof is on fire, his house has been hit by lightning. He grabs his cell phone & runs out into the street to call the Fire Department corporation. He tells them his house has been hit by lightning and is on fire. They send their trucks out, and 10 minutes later they arrive and put the fire out, but the roof has collapsed from the fire which means the house is most likely a total loss. The head fireman at the scene consoles Jack and tells him "I'm sorry for your loss." In the meantime Jack finds an apartment & changes his mailing address. He gets a bill in the mail from the fire department corporation, and looks at the fees line by line...fuel surcharge fees, personnel fees, hazardous duty fees, and water usage fees, etc. He looks at the total and sees that he owes the fire department corporation $6,850.00 for putting the fire out at his home. He calls his homeowner's insurance company thinking that they will take care of this for him. He submits his claim, and then two weeks later he gets something back in the mail from them. "Ahhh, there's my reimbursement check!" he says, but when he opens the envelope and reads the letter inside, he is stunned. The letter reads as follows :

Dear Jack,

We are very sorry for for the loss of your home, however, due to the previous claim that you filed on the home burglary, we are unfortunately unable to settle your claim for the fire since it was deemed that your policy was too high-risk after the burglary, and your coverage was terminated after that claim. Once again, we are sorry for your loss and we wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely, Your friendly Insurance company

Jack is now devastated. He falls to the floor in tears and wonders how this could ever happen. Everything he has worked so hard for is now gone. Well you see, it happened because insurance companies in NoTaxLand are completely unregulated, so they can choose at any time not to pay on a claim or can drop your coverage at anytime. Jack is very depressed, but he says "I'm gonna work harder & pull myself up by the bootstraps and build a new home!" He gets back to work and finds himself very busy. He works 12 hours a day 6 days a week to save for a new home, but it's not easy since he doesn't get paid overtime for any hours worked over 40 since that was deemed communist in NoTaxLand. Months go by and the long hours begin to take their toll on Jack, he becomes both physically and mentally exhausted and it's beginning to affect his work, and he starts to become clumsy on the job. Then one day disaster strikes, while working on a ladder, Jack falls and hits the ground hard. He is rushed to the hospital and the Doctor has bad news. He has some crushed vertebrae in his back & will need surgery to relieve the situation. He has the surgery and then is told early the next day that he must leave the hospital immediately. He asks "Why?" and is told that his health insurance through his employer has been dropped since he was fired that morning for not showing up to work. He's kicked out of the hospital still in pain and not even given any pain relieving drugs to take home with him. Since he can't work, Jack is evicted from his apartment, but luckily a good friend who is a true compassionate conservative takes him in. Next month a bill arrives form the hospital for the surgery. Jack is floored when he sees the figure in bold print...$187,350.99. He can't work, so he knows this can never be paid off, and since he can't work, he figures he maybe can retire since he's going on 60 now. Well, you see that's not possible for Jack since Social Security was deemed communist in NoTaxLand. Now Jack is an utterly broken man who lives the rest of his days destitute, in constant pain, and depressed. One day he relfects on things and thinks "You know, maybe paying taxes would have been worth it in the end."



This is the world the McCainbots want & we can't let that happen.



:kick:
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BrklynLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-16-08 08:20 PM
Response to Original message
1. How about Iraq? They can all go there and reap the benefits of the
billions of dollars that have been spent there...
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Pacifist Patriot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-17-08 01:06 PM
Response to Reply #1
10. I respect the Iraqis too much to do that to them.
:)
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paparush Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-16-08 08:21 PM
Response to Original message
2. I'm thinking of a state..far away from the rest of America..maybe up north somewhere..
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Richd506 Donating Member (576 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-16-08 08:28 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. maybe we should've let the south go after all
Those morons would've been free to destroy themselves and wouldn't be injecting their bigotry and ignorance into the system...
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formercia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-17-08 01:15 PM
Response to Reply #2
12. Like somewhere North of the North Star.
On a planet made of solid Gold where nothing will grow.
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Gold Metal Flake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-16-08 08:27 PM
Response to Original message
3. I gotta say Iraq.
It's a free market paradise. And it's so peaceful now.
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johnfunk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-16-08 08:28 PM
Response to Original message
4. There's always Guyana. I'll provide the Kool-Aid
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KillCapitalism Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-16-08 09:20 PM
Response to Original message
6. kick n/t
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Duer 157099 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-16-08 09:23 PM
Response to Original message
7. As much as I like the thought of Alaska (but don't really want to visit)
I'd be willing to let them have it AS LONG as they take ALL the RW fundies with them. All of em.

Then they can be Russia's neighbor and somehow figure out how to get themselves a military to defend themselves.

Let Canada worry about the border problem with them.

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treestar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-17-08 01:34 PM
Response to Reply #7
18. And speaking of borders, we NEVER let them into the US
Not for so much as a visit.
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honkydonkey Donating Member (232 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-16-08 09:25 PM
Response to Original message
8. I vote we let them have Alaska and change the name to dumbfuckastan. n/t
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pitohui Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-17-08 01:22 PM
Response to Reply #8
16. i think they already have scottsdale
however changing the name to dumbfuckistan sounds good to me
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nini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-17-08 12:57 PM
Response to Original message
9. kick.. this is too good to miss
:thumbsup:
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Danascot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-17-08 01:15 PM
Response to Original message
11. East Dumbfuckistan
Bush can be dictator.
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formercia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-17-08 01:17 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. Hey, I live in East Dumbfuckistan
Send them somewhere else.
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EnviroBat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-17-08 01:19 PM
Response to Original message
14. Homeless and destitute, Jack places the barel of a 12Ga shotgunn
in his mouth, and blows his brains all over the side of an overflowing dumpster. His fellow republican citizens in NoTaxLand are relieved that there is one less burden on their "fuck you, I've got mine" society.

That is, after all, exactly what republicans stand for. "Fuck you, I've got mine, and no one is getting any of it..."
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KillCapitalism Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-18-08 01:31 AM
Response to Reply #14
26. Hah.
Nice alternative ending.
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Cleita Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-17-08 01:20 PM
Response to Original message
15. How about Somalia.
Apparently there is nothing there that resembles a government with taxes and rules and regulations.
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dgibby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-17-08 01:33 PM
Response to Original message
17. How about any place that doesn't have natural resources
they can fuck up!

Excellent post! K&R
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treestar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-17-08 01:35 PM
Response to Reply #17
19. Let them have Alaska and the oil
And we learn new technologies and conserve and don't need a drop of it from them!
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hootinholler Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-17-08 01:56 PM
Response to Original message
20. So does the AIP!
:evilgrin:

-Hoot
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Laelth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-17-08 10:07 PM
Response to Original message
21. Compelling illustration. Well done. n/t
:dem:

-Laelth
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populistdriven Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-17-08 10:39 PM
Response to Original message
22. Time machine back to 1939 Germany
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cliffordu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-17-08 10:42 PM
Response to Original message
23. We can rename Alabama 'Dumbfuckistan' and they can have at it.
Sorry to any du'ers living in Alabama right now...Some sacrifices must be made....
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JanMichael Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-17-08 11:25 PM
Response to Original message
24. McPigShitLand?
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KG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-17-08 11:36 PM
Response to Original message
25. you can be sure that my Fire Fighting Co. Inc. isn't even going turn on a hose
w/o getting paid first!

Credit Cards accepted! :thumbsup:
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Cerridwen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-18-08 01:34 AM
Response to Reply #25
27. I wouldn't accept the CC of anyone with under a 700 credit score
if I were you. These are republicans, after all.

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Cerridwen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-18-08 01:37 AM
Response to Original message
28. Couldn't we just load them up in space ships and shoot them
into outer - way outer space.

Tell 'em they're being raptured or something?

The rapture ready crowd is confusing Jesus with aliens; they might bite. Tell 'em Jesus is a rocket star now.

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machI Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-18-08 04:43 AM
Response to Original message
29. Kick
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