Hard to believe we came from the same womb ...

My sister is about 5 years older than me. We have always been pretty different. I am the expressive one, trying to "find myself" and having many jobs and lifestyles in that search...while she did exactly as she was trained to do, get a good job, credit, husband, etc...

Now, her and her husband have a pretty nice house in Washoe Co. she works full time and he is home to take care of the kids since he is on permanent disability (3 back surgeries...) They have a boat, cars, and TONS of debt...because they live on their plastic and if anything should happen to her job their lifestyle would be in the crapper. I have often envied her for her "stable" life, and the fact that she has done it all "right" They don't make $250K a year though, they are just average americans by most standards.

I am a renter and have a section 8 subsidy for help to pay my rent, single mom of 3 and 2 bad exes over the last 20 years..i have never owned anything of value, can't get a credit card to save my life and have trouble just keeping a bank account open, because I play it so close to the vest to live. i did find my passion in career, i work part time for my church and the other half of my time I pick up freelancing writing gigs with our local news rag and do web design and mktg...still it is nickels and dimes compared to a steady job - but 40+ hours a week has never worked for me, especially with a special needs child.

Now - here's what I am getting to.
My sis & B-i-L were up at the folk's cabin this weekend, and I stooped by to see them and let our kids play. Within the first 5 minutes, my sister nods to my obama button and says, "you better take that off before my husband sees it."
I was like...:"excuuse me?"
she says "well, he's for the other ones" (couldn't even say Mccain or palin's names?)
i said "too bad he will be crying in his beer Nov 5th"
she says "what a sad day that will be"
again, shocked...I said "what, are you serious?"
she said "we don't like 'that one'...can't trust him...don't buy his spiel, he's fake..."

:puke: Are you fucking kidding me!???

I changed the subject and walked away, trying to avoid a confrontation......went to play with the kids. As I am standing there talking to her about our health, etc... I am thinking I don't even know this person, she is my sister, and I know her less than an acquaintance...how are we even of the same womb and upbringing... !

so as we are all going out to the cars in about an hour,
Her husband makes a snide comment about tearing off my bumper stickers...
I just looked them both in the face and said

"you know, YES, I AM a peace-mongering, liberal, care for my fellow man, hippie.... there's one in every family I guess, Better get used to it!"

I kept it light, but they could tell I wasn't going to feel ashamed for my choices.

enough said, I got the kids in the car and got out of there before I got mad....
they wanted to get together for lunch tomorrow but we were busy and I won't have to deal with them until after the election...

I got home and called my Mom, just to say I couldn't believe that she had swung that way... and she said they don't even vote! ...so they have no real right to an opinion since they don't care enough to vote! This is my southern, Barack-voting Momma who grew up deep in Mississippi and just recently decided He was the only hope we had for the future!

Good, two LESS we have to worry about!
ugh.

I love my sister, but sometimes I think my mom had an affair with the milkman because I am SO different from her and my dad! Yikes!

I wonder if your sister is "under the thumb" of her husband. Her warning about the button "before he sees it" made it sound like she is somewhat afraid of him.

thing, politics. For so many,it depends on how they feel, and not what they have sifted out.

My middle sister is wonderful, in fact I first heard about Obama because he was her state senator in IL.

My youngest sister, not so much. She's embraced racist/redneck/skinhead culture since she was a teen. I'm not quite sure how my liberal parents managed to have her. I haven't talked to her in years but I bet her head's exploding on this election, on one hand, a black man, on the other hand, an anti-feminist (her only saving grace is that she's pro-choice and somewhat liberated). I'm guessing she'll just sit this one out. Her husband is Aussie and probably can't vote either.

Good luck with your family, and give your mom a hug! I know my parents would be voting Obama were they with us.

Strangely or not, I'm the "stable" one in my family scenario, according to sis and brother. DH and I are both wary of credit (his grandparents lived through the Great Depression and made a HUGE impact on him, my parents were always debt-wary) so we have made our life decisions around that. We bought a home in a "lesser" neighborhood ("lesser" according to family) because we knew could pay it off relatively quickly, and did. Also, we only buy things we can pay cash for. I garden and preserve food every year to help with food bills. To both our families, we are kind of strange, but they do respect our results.

All that said...

My sister liked Mitt Romney and is deeply suspicious of Barack Obama (she thinks he "came out of nowhere"); so she'll vote McCain. She's an unemployed single mother with a special needs child. She doesn't think Palin is worth anything, which is a small bright spot.

My brother is a fundie hunter and will never vote Democratic. He's in love with Palin.

My father adores Ron Paul. Thinks Palin is utterly unqualified and that McCain is a liar. He's an unabashed conservative, so Barack is out of the question.

My mother will vote for who my father votes for, just because that is what she does.

How in the hell did I end up in this family?! Not a critical thinking gene amongst them, near as I can tell.

But...they are family. We just DO NOT speak of politics to save the peace. It would be impossible otherwise.

on edit: expanded on Dad

Not repukes, that's for sure.

that's for sure!

My dad I thought was a democrat his whole life, but he has sunken into listening to Faux and Billo and gotten more angry and biter over the years. My mom won't tell huimshe voted for Barack. My sister is very controlled by her husband, thought it is a very insidious control...he spends all her money and she is the one that let's HIM call all the shots. weird.
I guess the next thing for me would be either to find my life-Love and he will be either a super liberal "self-made" man...or maybe I'll just become a lesbian
and then they can say "we knew it all along"

I betcha I will want to drink heavily at Thanksgiving this year! My kids love her kids, and I can't just cut them off, i is important for us to spend time together as a family. Though I admited to my mom today that if she weren't my sister, I probably wouldn't give her the time of day.

too bad really, if she wasn't so stuck in her perfectionism...she may enjoy life a bit more!

You either are or you're not. It's the way you are wired, not a lifestyle choice.

I personally cannot take my eyes off a good picture of Christina Aguilera. She takes a GREAT photograph-- got the pose down. Especially when she does a classic 40's-50's pinup-style pose.

We're born into different families with the same people in them over time.

Good for you for standing your ground.

Richard Bach said once "very rarely do members of the same family grow up uner the same roof" (something like that)

I truly believe that my Spirit Family has more love and acceptance than my own blood.... though I also like to think that my Cherokee Grandmother (god rest her soul) would have been a very strong supporter of this Change!

Each person's experience of their family is different. So that, emotionally, it IS a different family for each person in it. Just ask anyone who has had a favored sibling.

My sister did it all "Right"

first job, first credit cards, only one marriage...(ultimate irony, my ex husband knew her husband, when he left, we needed another person for our weekly card games, she came and met her current husband...weird shit)

I did it all 'wrong'... barely graduated HS, got caught for pot in a courthouse at 21...but my mom is the one who "dealt wih me" , got married and pregnant at 21-22, struggled through college and countless jobs, etc the tale goes on further, you get the idea...

AND in our adulthood, My mom has come to realize that I had to LIVE my life in order to learn about it
and what I was able to do...I have come out so much stronger -
Funny, the spirit she wanted to tame when I was little allowed me to survive hard choices.

My sisters easy choices and 'normalness' has evolved into denial of Self...and it is eating her alive.

so sad, and so enlightening...
that's why I tried so hard not to unleash today
she needs her safety and normalness of trusting the old white man to provide the comfort
I am over it and seeking change and embracing it

its okay, she will either feel better, because Obama's policies will help her too
or she will become more bitter as time goes by
it is all about choice
and I love her regardless


(wow, I should tell her that....) :)

I used to populate a childfree board (not on DU) pretty frequently. There were several stories some of the women told of the brother being favored over his sister(s), being given fewer responsibilities, more money, more opportunities, etc. Almost without fail, the favored brother grew up to be a shiftless ne'er-do-well, while his "unfavored" sibs made something of themselves, or he grew up successful but callous and immature while the sister(s) grew to be successful AND mature.

You sound very compassionate and yes, Obama's policies will help her too, because they're meant for all of US :)

and told them to stuff it

parents, and that's where the similarity ends. On top of everything else, she is a control freak--type 2, to be exact--and keeps our families in turmoil. You wouldn't believe the stories I could tell.

I didn't read all your post, so what I am about to say may not apply to your sister: I have learned over the years to avoid TOXIC PEOPLE at all costs. The other sibling born to my parents is at the top of that list.