Dear Red States, We've decided we're leaving and taking the Blue States with us!

This is an email I got from a friend. It's funny I think and on point.

Dear Red States:

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't
aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington,
Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast.
We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and
especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America 's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
bunch of single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be
pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens
back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your
evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to
their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show
pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you
success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not
willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent
of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple
and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of
America 's quality wines, 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the
high-tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods,
sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have
to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected
health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100
percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent
of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred
unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44
percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was
involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you
are people with higher morals then we lefties.

Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed
they grow in Mexico

Peace out,

Blue States

I mean we now get to keep North Carolina (former slave state) along with Florida and some of the western and corn belt states.

Someone needs to rewrite this so we can include our newly minted blue states.

This crap has been going around for several years.

My supposedly enlighted sister in law from Pa. sent this to me right before the election. Here was my response:

This kind of crap is uncalled for. If it is so bad down here why is everyone moving here? NC recently passed NJ to become the 10th most populous state in the nation?

If you don't like it down here stay up in Pa. with your high unemployment, even higher taxes and crappy weather. If it is so bad down here how come Pa. and NJ send more students to the UNC system and Duke than any state in the nation?

Who gives more per capita to charity? Southern States

We don't have tolls and our roads are better.

I seem to remember that some of the most violent riots against school desegregation happened in the North East.

And you know what, we just went to Dollywood last month. It was clean, we didn't have to hear people dropping f bombs every second word, people were courteous, and it was fun.

Yeah things are not perfect down here but they aren't anywhere. We got our rednecks and our racists but our air is a lot cleaner and our rivers don't catch on fire.

I will finish this with two names from Pa. Arlen Spector and Rick Santorum. Two fine voices of reason from the Keystone St.

BTW, red states grow better pot.

what have you been smoking?
crack?

I assume that when the blue states leave they will deport the 40 to 49 percent of their population that disagrees with them?

I would think after the prop 8 fiasco that some blue staters would realize that there are asshole RW Americans in every state. Some just more than others.

Oh well, keep up the elitism. It so fucking helps so much.

Take a hint from Obama -- the UNITED States of America.

first years of my life in Texas, and now live in Colorado - a blue state once again, thank God.

On the number of times this stupid thread gets posted and locked. I think this will be the third or fourth since the election, but I might have missed a few.

isn't it? good grief

it would piss me off.

Although there is some humor in the irony. I mean, a good part of the Obama campaign was about healing and ending the divisiveness and some of the Obama supporters celebrate the victory by...being divisive. Good times.

No thanks.

Berkeley, LA, Davis, and lots more.