The truth about Jamaicans and snow - fall down funny

While living in Jamaica, many people romanticize this snow business. Indeed their first experience id glorified, pictures taken and sent to the relatives and friends back home. Then everything changes. Here's the best take ever. Someone sends this to us every year.

http://www.kayodeok.co.uk/weblog/200309/firstsnowflakes.html

A Jamaican's First Snow Flakes

I don't know the author of this joke but I liked it and I am reproducing it here.
A Jamaican's First Snow flakes

Diary of a Jamaican who moved to Canada
November 14th

Started snowing. The first of the season and the first real snow we have ever seen. The wife took buttered buns and we sat by the window watching the soft flakes drift down,clinging to the trees and covering the ground could never do anything like this in Jamaica.

IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
November 15th

We woke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape.

What a FANTASTIC sight! Every tree and shrub was covered with a beautiful white mantle.I shovelled snow for the first time and loved it. I did both our driveway and sidewalk. Later, the city snowplough came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. But the driver smiled and waved and I waved back and shovelled again. Canadians are so friendly! unlike those people who work the corporate area.
November 16th

It snowed an additional twelve inches last night and the temperature has dropped to around four degrees, the cold weather is not so bad, we can take this, not at all as bad as we imagined.

Several limbs on the trees and shrubs have snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shovelled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplough came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now brownish grey.
November 17th

Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush, which soon became ice again. Bought snow tyres for both cars. Slipped on my batty in the driveway, paid $130 for the chiropractor,but fortunately nothing broken.

More snow and ice expected.
November 18th

Still cold. Sold my wife's BMW and bought a 4x4 in order to get to work. Slipped on the guard-rail and did considerable damage to the right fender. Had another 15 centimetres of white shit last night. Both vehicles covered in salt and crud. More shovelling in store for me today. That damn snowplough came by twice yesterday.
November 19th

2 degrees outside! More rahtid snow. Nota tree or shrub in our yawd that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. "Blouse and skirt" got mi first heating bill, Tried to keep from freezing to death wid candles and kerosene heater, tipped over and nearly burn the rahtid house down. I managed to put the flames out but suffered second degree burns on my hands and lost all my eyebrows and eyelashes. Car slid on the white shit on the way to the hospital and was a write-off.
November 20th

Rahtid white ting keeps coming down! I have to put on all the clothes I own just to get to the mailbox. If I ever catch the bitch that drives that rahtid snowplough, I gwine mek him mumma feel it. I think he hides around the rahtid corner and wait for me to finish shovelling, then comes down the street at about 160km/hr and cover up wi driveway again. Rahtid power still off. The tilit (as in toilet) froze and parts of the roof have started to cave in.
November 21st

Twelve more centimetres of rahtid snow and rahtid ice and God knows what other kind of rahtid white shit fell last night. I wounded the rahtid snow plough with the pick,but the driva got away. The wife took off and left me. The rahtid car won't start and I think I'm going rahtid snow-blind. I can't move my rahtid toes, haven't seen the bomboclaat sun in weeks and there's more rahtid snow predicted. Wind chill is 30 rahtid degrees below rahtid zero!!
November 22nd

Me a move back to JA cause dis ya place a go kill mi!

Reminds me of that chili cook-off judge email that goes around occasionally.

Post a link. :hi:

Looks like Frank disappeared by #8.

A few years ago, there was an article in our local paper from a woman who moved to NH from So. Callfornia. She said she wanted to live in a Norman Rockwell-type place. Her conclusion about NH winter; "Now I'm living in a white hell".

We refuse to visit anyone during winter. Florida is cold enough in December. We're staying in Jamaica this year and our nights have been much cooler than I can remember.

Winter in Michigan

August 12
Moved to our new home in Michigan. It is so wonderful here. Lake Michigan is
magnificent. Can Hardly wait to see snow on the trees.

October 14
Michigan is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning shades of
red and orange. Went for a drive through the forest near Lake Michigan and saw
some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly, they are the most wonderful animals on
earth. Saw the sunset over the lake. This must be paradise. I love it here!

November 11
Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a
gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here more each day.

December 1
5:00 pm. It's starting to snow! The first of the season and the first one we've
seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture
window, watching the snow flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering
the ground. It was sooooo beautiful!!

December 2
Woke up to find everything blanketed with snow. It looked like a perfect picture
postcard. We went outside and had a snowball fight ( I won!). Later, I shoveled
snow for the first time in years and loved it!! I did both our driveway and our
sidewalk. Later, the city snowplow came along and accidentally covered our
driveway with compacted snow fron the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved
back and shoveled it again. What a beautiful place: I LOVE MICHIGAN!

December 8
It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature has dropped to
around 11 degrees. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs snapped due to the weight
of the snow. I shoveled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplow came
by and performed his little trick again. Much of the snow is brownish-gray.

December 12
Warmed up enough during the day to melt some snow into slush which soon became ice
when the temperatures dropped again. Bought studded snow tires for the car. Fell
on my ass in the driveway shoveling after the snowplow came by for the third time
today. $145.00 to the chiropractor, but nothing was broken. More snow and ice
expected tonite.

December 13
More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from
shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the corner and waits until I am done
shoveling the driveway. ASSHOLE!!

December 25
Merry Goddamn Christmas!! More friggin snow. If I ever get my hands on that
son-of-a-bitch who drives the snowplow, I swear I am going to kill the bastard!
Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the damn ice.

December 27

More white shit fell again last night! Been inside for three days now, except for
shoveling the driveway after the snowplow comes by. Can't go anywhere, car's
stuck in a mountain of white shit. The weatherman says to expect another 10" of
the shit again tonite. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10" is??

December 28

The fucking weatherman had his head shoved up his ass...we got 24" of that white
shit this time!! At this rate, it won't melt before the summer! The snowplow got
stuck in the road and that bastard came to the door and asked to borrow my shovel.
After I told him I had broken six shovels already, shoveling
all the shit he pushes into the driveway, I broke my last one over his fucking
head!! I couldn't find my ice axe to finish him off...it was buried somewhere
under a fucking snowdrift!!

December 29

2 degrees outside. More fucking snow!! Not a tree or shrub on our property that
hasn't been damaged. Power has been off most of the night. Tried to keep from
freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater, which tipped over and damn
near burned the house down! I managed to put out the flames, but
suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands and lost all my eyelashes and eyebrows. On
the way home, I slid on the ice trying to miss a deer, and damn near put the car
in Lake Michigan. I totaled the car anyway against an iceberg...yes I said an
iceberg on the fucking Lake Michigan shoreline!! I should have hit the
goddamn deer and taken my chances. Those fucking beasts should be killed! I wish
the hunters had killed them ALL last November.

January 4

Goddamn, mother-fucking white shit keeps coming down!! Have to put on all the
clothes we own just to get to the fucking mailbox. Power is still off. The toilet
froze and part of the roof is starting to cave in. Tried to take a piss outside
and ended up with a dicksicle!

January 7
Sixteen goddamn more fucking inches of fucking snow and fucking sleet and fucking
ice and God knows what other fucking white shit fell last night. I wounded the
fucking snowplow asshole with the ice axe, but he got away. The wife left me. Car
won't start. I think I am going to go snowblind. I can't move
my toes. Haven't seen the sun in weeks. More fucking snow predicted. Wind chill is
MINUS 22 fucking degrees!!

January 8
Moved back to Hawaii!! I can't imagine anyone in their right mind would ever want
to live in that God-forsaken state called MICHIGAN!!

:rofl:

sp.

To be honest though the snow here in the northern part of the mitten (the pinky to be more exact) doesn't bother me until about March. It really is pretty. And when there's a snow day (no school) I think I am more excited than the kids.

W00T!



Julie--who has sherpa like skills at getting around in the winter

Except we're in Pittsburgh - or as he calls it: "Ice Station Zebra"

we talked about snow and such with our new friends, all of whom were either native southern Californians or from Texas. Our first winter, we loved it, as we didn't have to wear coats or worry about snow. I remember it was a particularly rainy winter and the mountains kept getting snow. One night, while talking about snow I commented "You guys must have been so lucky...as kids you didn't have to shovel the driveway or the sidewalk." One of the girls said, in total seriousness, "Why on earth would you have to shovel a driveway?" And someone else asked, "Did you drive around all the time with snowtires on?" <<EDIT: I actually meant chains there.
My husband and I were stupified.

We now live in Oklahoma, where the city does NOTHING to side streets when it snows or ices. Last year, I went to the store to get groceries right before that horrible ice storm got really bad. As I was driving down our street, I knew that if I didn't time the turn into my driveway perfectly, it would end badly. It did, as I slid sideways down the street and into the tree at the end of the driveway, my husband laughing hysterically from our porch the whole time.

I'd crash in seconds. When I was young I enjoyed the snow, but one April in the 70s, I was all dressed up for spring, ready to head home, and didn't realize snow had been falling all day. That did it for me. I made my decision to return to Jamaica permanently that night.

but Texans with huge trucks are the worst. They think that giant tires give them free reign to speed on icy roads. I have to say though that Californians in the rain are the pits.

Well, it's 75 in Guadalajara, MX today and when I leave here Sunday to return to Oklahoma, it's supposed to be 20 at night in OKC...so I'm a bit dismayed.

I couldn't stop laughing.

Don

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmAdfLlhfzw

One completed his PhD in economics. That was fall down funny. In the end better technology beat them.

That was back in the good old days. I still get tickled just thinking about it.

Don

:spray:

:rofl: